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Kiss and Tell: “My night out ended with three strangers having sex in front of me”

Ashley, a 26-year-old designer, made the mistake of thinking an invitation to play Mario Kart was really about video games

Kiss and Tell: “My night out ended with three strangers having sex in front of me”

Welcome to Kiss and Tell, a series about the steamy, surprising and frequently absurd world of Toronto dating. Send your most memorable stories from the pursuit of love and lust in the city to .

—As told to Juliann Garisto 

Recently, things were not going well between me and my boyfriend. We were at my house one night when we got into a fight. I don’t remember exactly what started it, but it had to do with his control issues. If I wasn’t physically with him, he needed to know where I was—at all times. We started getting into it, and I decided that I needed a break. “I want to go out,” I said. “Alone.” So I put on a pair of tights and a short skirt and layered a red long-sleeved shirt underneath a black T-shirt. I looked cute.

I headed to Sneaky Dees, where it was Emo Night, which I’d always wanted to check out. A friend of mine met me there, but after a couple of drinks, she said she was feeling sick and wanted to go home, which was the last thing I wanted to do. I knew that my boyfriend would be at my place, which was no fun, and being out with fellow goth-chic 20-somethings actually was fun. But I wasn’t about to make my friend stay if she didn’t feel well. We took a quick trip to the bathroom as she called an Uber.

In the bathroom, I started chatting with another girl. She was super friendly, easy to talk to and really pretty—tall, with orange hair and a gap in her teeth. She told us she was waiting for her girlfriend and invited me to join them. I said I’d come find her after I walked my friend to her Uber.

While I was outside, I stopped to have a cigarette. I saw this guy with big circular glasses biking along College, and suddenly he made direct eye contact with me and started mouthing something. I said, “What did you just say?” He stopped his bike, and I thought, Oh no. I was worried he was going to try to fight me or something. But then he got off it and just said, “I didn’t say anything.”

He asked me what I was doing, and I told him that my friend had just ditched me to go home. His face lit up, and he was like, “My friends just ditched me!” It was a funny coincidence. I told him about the girl I’d just met in the bathroom who was waiting for her girlfriend. “I think we’d all get along,” I said.

We went back into Sneaky Dees and found the girl from the bathroom at the bar. Her girlfriend had arrived. She was also gorgeous, with long legs and intricate braids. My newfound friends had some cocaine, so we all went to the bathroom to do lines. After that, plus another round of drinks, we started feeling a bit restless.

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Bike guy told us he lived really close and had a Wii. He asked if we’d want to go back to his place to play Mario Kart. I love Wii—it was the only gaming console I had growing up. We all accepted his offer, and he ordered us an Uber while he hopped on his bike.

His house was pretty normal, a walk-up with a TV in the living room. I didn’t see a Wii, but I sat on the couch anyway, and he started to stream music videos from YouTube onto the screen. The girls were looking at things on his shelves. Then the guy and the girl with orange hair disappeared. I assumed they were going to get the gaming console or something.

I decided to go outside and have a smoke. As I walked toward the balcony, I passed the bedroom, and the door was wide open. Inside, the girl from the bathroom was giving the guy a blowjob. I was super confused. Should I tell her girlfriend that she was fooling around with this random guy? I was also a tad worried about getting home—one of the girls said she would Uber me because I lived far away and was broke. But I was still high and didn’t want my boyfriend to berate me for doing drugs, so I couldn’t go home yet. I went out to smoke and decided not to think too much about it.

When I came back, all three of them were in the living room, inflating an air mattress. I thought, Okay, this is for us to play Mario Kart on, instead of being squished on the couch. But there was still no Wii in sight. Then they all showed one another a sheet of paper, which, in retrospect, I’m assuming was an STI check.

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At this point, I was like, “Okay, guys, I think I’m going to have a couple more lines and go home.” But they protested. “Don’t go,” they said. “We really like you!” Honestly, my ego was thriving. I liked the attention. I was like, Really? These people want me to stay? So I did, but I decided that I wouldn’t do anything sexual.

By this time, it was one or two in the morning. I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, the three of them were naked on the blow-up mattress. I felt so awkward. I asked, “Are you sure you guys don’t want me to go?” Again, they protested: “No, please stay. We’re having so much fun with you.”

I ended up staying. I sat on the couch and pretended to read while they took turns having sex with one another on the mattress. They would take breaks to talk to me. One of the girls or the guy would come up for air and sit with me and ask, “What do you want to do when you get out of school?" “What are you going to do tomorrow?" “Where did you grow up?” Totally normal conversations.

But this wasn’t just a casual one-hour hook-up—it was like a marathon. They were still at it at 6 a.m. At that point, I asked the girl who’d initially offered to Uber me home if the offer still stood, and she ordered one for me right away. My asking might finally have broken their streak, too, because they decided to call it quits. And the irony of it all? As I was gathering my things and getting ready to leave, they actually started playing Mario Kart.

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A week later, the girl with orange hair came to my house so I could dye her hair. She’d brought a big bag with her. I didn’t know what was in it; she told me she’d brought the bag because she planned on going to see bike guy later. She ended up forgetting it at my place.

A month later, she still hadn’t responded to my texts about how to get her bag back to her. So I looked inside and found a stuffed animal that sang when you pressed its paw and a massive Hitachi vibrator, the expensive kind. I never spoke to any of them again, and I broke up with my boyfriend shortly afterward. Still, I don’t have any regrets.

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