Life

A Torontonian’s guide to pot etiquette

Throughout this week, we’re telling you everything you need to know to navigate the semi-legal new world of weed. Here, some advice on pot politesse from the Herbal Diplomat

By Herbal Diplomat | February 24, 2016

By Herbal Diplomat | 02/24/2016

Dear Herbal Diplomat,

A bunch of my friends have lied to their doctors to acquire a medical marijuana prescription. I’m the idiot who still buys from a dealer. Should I join the dark side? There’s no real victim, right?

—“Back Pain,” Leslieville

The only victim of your deception—apart from maybe your dealer—will be your Honest Abe conscience. If lying to a GP will saddle you with enduring guilt (and it sounds like it would), don’t do it. Canada’s Colorado moment is coming soon. Just be patient a bit longer.

Dear Herbal Diplomat,

I’m the one in my group of friends who always has weed. I don’t mind passing around my joint, but no one else ever offers any up when we’re together—or to chip in financially. Is it kosher to ask for contributions?

—High Maintenance, Seaton Village

At $10 per gram, each drag amounts to roughly a quarter or two, which is hardly grand larceny. As long as your friends reciprocate in other ways—sharing their booze, food, shelter for the night when you get too blitzed to make it home—consider it a draw. If, however, your friends are moochy moochersons, you’ve got three options: 1) ask them straight-up to contribute to your pot fund; 2) offer to connect them to your dealer so they can source their own bud; 3) get new friends.

Dear Herbal Diplomat,

Our very mature 16-year-old daughter is keen to try pot. My husband and I smoke, and she knows it. We have trouble telling her no, since it’s bound to be legal sooner or later. We’re stuck. Help!

—Is Resistance Futile? Corso Italia

Treat it like you would alcohol. Do you let her get fall-down drunk? I seriously hope not. And while legalization looms, pot’s never going to be legal for kids your daughter’s age, so it’s not like you need to beat the government to the punch. Tell her ganja is for grown-ups.

Dear Herbal Diplomat,

I recently started smoking weed. Is it customary to tip one’s dealer?

—Doob Noob, High Park

No. He’s likely applied a markup of at least 50 per cent. Except for in extreme circumstances—clambering up your fire escape in a snow storm would qualify—save your cash. Tipping the dealer is for gambling etiquette, not pot buying.

Dear Herbal Diplomat,

I’m chummy with my dealer—we hang out a few times a year—but I’ve discovered someone with a much better supply at a slightly better price. How do I break up with her without hurting our friendship?

—It’s Not You…It’s Your Pot, Leaside

Before you take your business elsewhere, give your dealer a chance to match the quality and price. If she can’t, tell her you’re sorry but you’re moving on. The truth might prompt her to find a better supplier herself, and your honesty may save your friendship. Or not. But if you two kick it only once every few months, let’s be real, you’re not exactly consciously uncoupling.