15 of the craziest cholesterol-charged creations at the CNE this year

From now until September 4, you can shave a day or two off your lifespan by indulging in any one of the CNE’s new edible abominations. This year, there are obligatory charcoal creations (pizza, soft serve, lemonade), some returning favourites (things with bugs) and these, 15 of the festival’s freakiest foods, ranked from “identifiable” to “bastardized beyond recognition.”

Eat My Bowl’s breakfast cups

15 Let’s start off with something light, shall we? These all-day breakfast bowls of scrambled eggs and bacon in edible pancake cups might not be calorie-free, but they sure are waste-free!    

Eative’s Dragon’s Breath crêpe

14 Food that causes gas (and there’s plenty of that to go around at the Ex) isn’t cool. But fog-making food is something else. Eative’s ice-cream filled crêpes are made with liquid nitrogen, turning anyone who eats them into a smoke-breathing dragon.    

Chloe’s ice cream sandwiches

13 Churros + ice cream + Cap’n Crunch cereal = this Midway treat. At least the ice cream is there to provide some sweet relief after the roof of your mouth is ravaged by the Cap’n.    

King of the Curd’s deep-fried curds

12 The Ex is no stranger to deep-fried cheese, god bless it. These curds—in a light, almost tempura-like batter—come with a side of maple syrup, so they simultaneously satisfy both salt and sugar cravings.    

Farm to Fryer’s cheese-stuffed Doritos

11 Hey, look! More cheese! This time, triangles of marble cheddar are encapsulated within a crust of crushed Doritos and then deep-fried.    

Coco Concession’s deep-fried chicken feet

10 While chicken feet are a popular Chinese delicacy, they’re new to the Midway and, of course, taken to another level. Each fowl foot is deep-fried and served on a stick. Here’s betting many an Ex-goer will be tapped on the shoulder at least once by one of these treats.    

Coco Concession’s corn dogs

9 From the same booth that serves chicken feet comes these corn dog-type creations: a pickle wrapped in bacon wrapped in batter and then, obviously, deep-fried. Is there any other way to cook things at the Ex?    

Bacon Nation’s All-Canadian Red Hot Burger

8 Toronto’s all-bacon joint is responsible for this patriotic patty. The beef burger topped with a sunny-side-up egg and, of course, bacon, on an electric red bun.    

Fran’s Southern Slang

7 This kicky chocolate-chicken sandwich is comprised of fried bird, a cinnamon churro bun and chocolate-sriracha sauce. The addition of house-made coleslaw really tips the weird scale.    

Yatai’s Last Samurai

6 Yatai’s super burger is an all-beef patty topped with chicken katsu, lettuce, shredded cabbage, cheese and special sauce, all on a ramen-noodle bun.    

Fritta’s spaghetti balls

5 Have you ever wished spaghetti was a bit more... portable? Fritta’s pasta balls are made with deep-fried spaghetti and topped with tomato sauce and parmesan. (There’s also a sweet option that combines the noodle caboodle with sugar, cinnamon and chocolate sauce.)    

Cake Shack’s Sugar Mountain

4 This CN Tower–shaped treat is built of a brownie, cheesecake, a chocolate-dipped sugar cone, a sprinkled yeast doughnut and some cotton candy. All that’s missing is a mini, edible Drake.    

Hot Bunzz Street Cuisine’s Juicy Oink

3 The good people of Hot Bunzz have managed to stuff five versions of pork into one bun: slow-roasted five-spice pork belly, slow-roasted pulled pork shoulder, sweet longanisa sausage, crispy pork skin and—like a cherry on top—a pork soup dumpling. It’s all covered in okonomiyaki sauce, Japanese mayo and honey-apple slaw.    

Philthy Philly’s Strawberry Shortsteak

2 “This steak needs more strawberry syrup,” said no one, ever. And yet, here we have it: a Philly cheesesteak sandwich with the obligatory provolone cheese and the not-so-obligatory strawberry sauce and icing sugar. Oh, and it’s all on a doughnut bun, but nothing should come as a surprise anymore.    

San Francesco’s Colossal Coliseum

1 Coming in at number one is this beast from San Francesco. For their Colossal Coliseum, the legendary sandwich makers take a Kaiser bun and cram it with breaded veal, creamy slaw, jalapeño peppers, sweet barbecue sauce and, wait for it, an entire deep-fried pulled pork panzerotti. It’s a sandwich within a sandwich—inception food. And it’s crowned with two deep-fried brownies, because dessert.