Dear Urban Diplomat: My brother is lying online about Dry January
He’s preaching the virtues of sobriety on TikTok but still crushing six-packs every weekend, and the hypocrisy is getting on my nerves. Should I call him out?
Dear Urban Diplomat, Every year, my brother posts incessantly about Dry January. He goes on TikTok to tout the benefits of abstinence: a clearer mind, better sleep and shedding some pounds. My issue is that he still drinks on weekends. He’s lying for clout, and that irks me. I just left a snarky comment on one of his videos, and now he won’t talk to me. Should I apologize or keep calling him out for his hypocrisy? —Thirst Trap, Caledonia-Fairbank
Social media curation always involves some level of fact-fudging. Being on good terms with your brother is more important than setting the record straight for his followers. As much as your public shaming may have made you feel better, it was petty. I suggest tamping down your sanctimony with a heartfelt apology. The next time he invites you over for beers, accept—and then roast him in private.
Dear Urban Diplomat, My office runs an annual charity drive, and bragging rights go to whoever raises the most money for the cause du jour. This year, I was in pole position until my new co-worker registered a huge donation. After some sleuthing, I discovered that it was from his wife. When I brought it up at a work lunch, the guy acted high and mighty, insisting that he and his wife have separate finances. I want to tell everyone that he’s a cheater, and I have an email sitting in my drafts to that effect. Should I send it? —Charity Case, Sunnylea
Before you explode your relationship with a colleague (and in turn announce yourself as a sore loser to your whole office), consider this: the charity drive, as you’ve described it, has no monetary reward. While his tactics may have been dubious, bragging rights are all he’s got to show for them. Ease your mind and take the high road on this one.
Dear Urban Diplomat, My 15-year-old wants to save the world, but she’s letting her schoolwork slide. She’s very active with student protests and spends much of her free time on Zoom with classmates discussing plans of action about climate change and global conflicts. Homework? Not so much. Whenever I try to get her to focus on school, she says things like, “Who cares about algebra when the planet’s on fire?” My husband thinks she’s gaining valuable skills for the future. I think he’s afraid to discipline her. Who’s right? —Study Break, Cliffcrest
Your husband isn’t wrong to be excited about your daughter’s engagement with the wider world. Be thankful that she’s distracted by a passion—and a worthy one—instead of having her attention gobbled up by endless scrolling. That said, the road to social justice still runs through education. And your enabling husband knows as much. You need to get him on board and have a frank discussion with your daughter about time management.
Dear Urban Diplomat, A skunk died in my driveway, and the city said they wouldn’t be able to collect it for five days. They told me to put it in a black garbage bag, write “Dead Skunk” on it and leave it on my lawn. I bagged it, tagged it and dropped it. Then my neighbours emerged and started calling it unhygienic. One wanted me to pay $300 for private pest control, which I said was too expensive, especially since the city does it for free. When I got home the next day, no skunk. What I did find was an email from my neighbour with a bill for the removal and a request to pay half. He’s acting like he did me a huge favour. Should I pony up or refuse? —Scents and Sensibility, Leaside
Waiting five progressively more malodorous days for city pickup is unpleasant but not intolerable, particularly in winter. Your passive-aggressive neighbour knew you didn’t want to pay for removal—he clearly crossed a line. But, as to whether you should decline, much of that depends on your financial situation and your appetite for avoiding his death stare when you see him on the block. My take? If you can swing it, fork over the cash. His offer to pay half is slightly more reasonable than trying to stick you with the entire bill.
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