Real Weddings: Bahja and Julian

Julian Lo, a 33-year-old tech sales director, met Bahja Ali, a 33-year-old midwife, on Tinder in 2018. The couple made their relationship official just a few weeks after a first date at Mahjong Bar. They got engaged during a holiday trip to London, England, in 2023. The wedding itself was a low-key affair that included a Muslim ceremony, a civil wedding in North York and a party at a studio with friends in the Entertainment District, plus a post-wedding Chinatown photo shoot. Here’s how it all came together.

Bahja: When I saw Julian’s profile pop up on Tinder, he had some pretty funny pictures. There was one shot of him posing at a bar with something called “Ass Juice.” So I swiped right.

Julian: Bahja seemed cute in her profile. On the apps, I try to meet people in person as soon as I can, because I think it’s a better way to get to know someone. So, within a week, I asked her out on a date. I knew she lived west of the city, and I was downtown, so I suggested going to Mahjong Bar, on Dundas, since it was west-ish. I’d been to a friend’s birthday there, and I figured it was a cool place.

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Bahja: I thought Julian was even cuter in person. I can be quite shy at first, but he did a good job carrying the conversation. He was funny in person too. I was in school at the time for midwifery, so we talked about that as well as our shared love of anime and our favourite Naruto characters.

Julian: I thought Bahja’s pictures didn’t do her justice. She’s beautiful. At one point, I brought up the topic of horoscopes, which is not really my thing, but I’m a Cancer and a lot of my good friends are Tauruses. So I got excited when I found out Bahja was a Taurus.

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Bahja: Things moved pretty quickly after the first date. We texted each other every day, and Julian planned some fun outings for us. We went on dinner dates, including one to Pai, and for walks around the city.

Julian: I loved Bahja’s sense of humour. She understands all the weird and offbeat things that I find funny. She’s also a very caring and empathetic person. She always thinks of other people, which stood out to me.

Bahja: As I got to know Julian, I found it really easy to talk to him. We’d always have a very natural flow of conversation. I didn’t feel like I needed to put on a persona or an act when we spent time together. As we hung out more, I realized that I couldn’t picture myself with anyone else. So, a few weeks later, we made our relationship official.

Julian: When Covid hit, I moved back in with my parents in Richmond Hill. Bahja was still living with her family in the west end. So we drove to hang out with each other on the weekends. We spent time at whatever place might be open—mostly malls and chain restaurants—and we even went on a hike once. For a few weeks, I took in Bahja’s cat, Dill, when she had busy periods with work. She also met my parents during Covid, but it would be a while before I met hers.

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Bahja: I’m Somali, and in our culture, you don’t introduce someone to your family unless you’re actually going to get married. Thankfully, Julian was very understanding. That made me appreciate him more.

Julian: In 2022, I bought a condo downtown, near St. Lawrence Market. I actually brought Dill with me when I moved in, and the three of us hung out a lot together at my place.

Bahja: For a while, Julian and I felt indifferent about getting married. I already knew that he was the one for me. But I also knew that it was important to my family that I get married, especially if I were to move in with him. By the summer of 2023, we talked about it and decided that we did want to get married after all.

Julian: Marriage felt like a natural direction for us. I also wanted Bahja’s parents to feel comfortable with her moving into my place eventually. We started ring shopping together that summer.

Bahja: I chose an oval solitaire on a thin band. The jeweller was just across from Julian’s place, which made it easy.

Julian: I had the ring by November of 2023. We already had a vacation planned to a resort in Cancun in December, so I figured I would propose then. But one of my co-workers convinced me otherwise. He thought it would be too obvious. So, on the first night of our Cancun trip, I surprised her with a box of Williams Sonoma peppermint bark, which is one of her favourite treats. Inside, there was a note revealing a second surprise: a trip to London at the end of our Cancun trip.

Bahja: Julian and I went to London last December, and I loved all the holiday lights and the wintertime aesthetics. We’d already planned to celebrate our anniversary, which is December 26, during that trip. So I figured Julian might propose on that day. We’re both pretty private people, so I was expecting something quiet and secluded.

Julian: My plan was to do it in Leadenhall Market on December 24. The market was closed for the holidays, but it’s an open, public area, so there were still people around taking photos by a Christmas tree, which I wasn’t expecting. Once we got to the market, I started freestyling a speech about how much I loved Bahja and how long we’d been together. I was nervous.

Bahja: I was a little thrown off since it was two days before our anniversary. When I saw him go down on one knee, I actually told him to stop and get up. It all felt like too much because there were other people around and I hate being the centre of attention. “I can’t,” he said. “I hired a photographer.”

Julian: Bahja turned and saw the photographer in the corner and even pointed at her. We were locked in to a public proposal then, and Bahja understood.

Bahja: So we kept going—he proposed and put the ring on my finger. In the end, no one was really looking at us, so it still felt private. It was a little chaotic and nerve-racking in the moment, but I wouldn’t change it. It was surreal in the best way.

Julian: Bahja and I are pretty low-key people, and we don’t love attention. Having “Happy Birthday” sung to us at a restaurant is our worst nightmare. More than anything, we just wanted to make our parents happy and hang out with our friends. So we decided to do a few different events: a short Muslim ceremony, called a Nikah, in April, followed by a civil ceremony at the North York Civic Centre in May and a party with friends that evening. We wanted the party to be unfussy and laid back so that everyone could be comfortable and enjoy themselves.

Bahja: The Muslim ceremony was at a mosque in York. An imam performed the ceremony, and it was just my family there—my mom, a cousin, an uncle and a nephew. It was a nice and easy experience. We had lunch at a Somali restaurant afterward.

Julian: For our civil ceremony and party, we wanted to keep things simple. We had a non-denominational ceremony with an officiant and about a dozen guests from both sides of our family. I wore a grey suit from Sydney’s that I had bought the year before to go to another wedding.

Bahja: I wore a flowy white dress from Reformation. I liked that it was more semi-formal and not super serious. I felt really nervous and anxious during the ceremony with everyone looking at us. But it was over quickly, and once it was done we got some nice pictures taken of us and our families outside North York Civic Centre.

Julian: Afterward, we had lunch at the Miller Tavern. It was the first time our extended families met, and everyone got along well, especially our cousins. It was nice. For our evening party, we rented a studio downtown called Diptych. Since it wasn’t a traditional wedding venue, we were able to book it with just a few months’ notice. Planning everything took us only about four months, and I did most of the organizing.

Bahja: We liked that Diptych had nice wood flooring and a ton of plants, so we wouldn’t have to do much for decor. We brought some florals from Flowers and Flowers and a ton of tealight candles. And we also got a disco ball. That was fun. I wore a long satin dress from Meshki.

Julian: We got catering from the Heartbreak Chef, who did mac and cheese and sliders. Bahja’s mom also made some Somali dishes, and there were ice cream sandwiches from Creamery X. We had about 50 guests there, mostly our friends, and it was cocktail-style, so there wasn’t a formal seated dinner.

Bahja: We also had a photo booth and a DJ, Sadiq James, who played hip-hop, rap, house and Afrobeat. Later on in the evening, I changed into a shorter dress with Adidas running shoes to be more comfortable.

Julian: The whole day felt like a blur. We started the party at 7 p.m. and were out of there by 2 a.m. To be honest, when it was all over, I thought, Thank god it’s done. It was a lot of work—and that’s with it still being much less complicated than most weddings I’d been to.

Bahja: Everything went by so fast, but it turned out amazing.

Julian: Humble brag, but people still talk about how great our wedding was and how they wish they could do something smaller like ours. We went in a different direction than most people do, but it was nice to hear that our guests appreciated the vision.

Bahja: The photographer we originally wanted for our wedding wasn’t available on the actual day, but we really liked his aesthetic and that he shoots on film. So, a month later, we did a photoshoot around Chinatown.

Julian: We went to Kai Wei Supermarket, Dragon City Mall and Pho Hung. Bahja really liked the ’90s Hong Kong pre-engagement shoot aesthetic, and my family is from there. We liked that the shoot was candid and casual, and the photos turned out great.

Bahja: It feels nice to be married. At the end of 2024, Julian and I went on a two-week honeymoon to Tokyo, Kyoto, Osaka and Hakone. Julian did all of the planning.

Julian: Being married feels the same to me. Our relationship has always been great, but now it just feels more solid and secure. We got a second cat a couple of months ago, named Ketchup. It feels like we’re a family now.

Date: July 27, 2024 Photography: Liv Sacco, 3B Photography Civil ceremony location: North York Civic Centre Evening party location: Diptych Studio Officiant: Desiree Chan Florals: Floral Concept, Flowers and Flowers, Miugi Flowers, Dollarama Food: The Heartbreak Chef, Creamery X DJ: Sadiq James Bride’s civil ceremony dress: Reformation Bride’s evening party dress: Meshki Bride’s second evening party outfit: OhPolly, Adidas Groom’s outfit: Sydney’s, Bottega Veneta Photo booth: Highlite Toronto Beverage service: The Palazzo Bar Engagement ring: Livia Diamonds