I heard that kids are getting drunk on hand sanitizer at school? Is it true, and if so, what’s the TDSB doing about it?

Rumours of kids getting hopped up on antibacterial gel recently stoked a mini–media storm. Thankfully, the TDSB hasn’t received any reports of sanitizer sipping. However, it’s not an unwarranted concern. According to the laws of duh, if it has alcohol in it, teens will imbibe it—why bother raiding the liquor cabinet when a swig of 120-proof “booze ooze,” as the kids are calling it, will get the job done quicker? One good reason is the vile taste. Purell, the TDSB’s brand of choice, contains a bittering agent to make it unpalatable—imagine a dish soap and vodka cocktail (with a twist if it’s lemon scented). But teens rarely let flavour get in the way of some good, er, clean fun. To prevent furtive nipping, the TDSB distributes bottles no bigger than 350 milli­litres and recommends teachers keep them at their desks. Still, it doesn’t take much to get soused—a discon­certing notion, given that the stuff has become as ubiquitous as pompoms at a pep rally.