Adore Tim Hortons? This guy thinks you’re dumb
If you’re the kind of Canadian who considers few things more sacred than a Tim Hortons double-double, prepare to choke on your Old Fashioned Glazed. In an article titled “Okay, Canada, it’s time for the hard truth about Tim Hortons,” Macleans columnist Scott Feschuk has some real talk for people who “get weird” about what is, admittedly, a slightly pathetic patriotic rallying point. He writes:
Tim Hortons is not a defining national institution. Rather, it is a chain of thousands of doughnut shops, several of which have working toilets.
Tim Hortons is not an indispensable part of the Canadian experience. Rather, it is a place that sells a breakfast sandwich that tastes like a dishcloth soaked in egg yolk and left out overnight on top of a radiator.
Tim Hortons is not an anti-Starbucks choice that makes you a more relatable politician or a more authentic Canadian. Rather, it is a great place to buy a muffin if you’ve always wondered what it would be like to eat blueberry air.
Feschuk concludes by suggesting that joining forces with a foreign fast-food chain might not be the worst thing that could happen to Timmies (or, as he describes it, “the corporation that is traditionally depicted in our media as adored, iconic and able to cure hepatitis with its doughnut glaze”). As far as we know, he hasn’t yet been trampled by an angry, mildly caffeinated mob.
Although I dont agree with everything he says, the writer struck right on target when it comes to the “authentic Canadian feel”. I worked for MSLE and when we did the whole “We the North” and “We are Canada’s team” BS, it was just a marketing ploy to tug at the heart strings of Canadians….as well as their pockets. Timmies is not great. Im not saying Starbucks is great, but they dont use the same faux pas tones that Timmies uses.
Anyway…Timmies is a good place to go if you want to talk to a chick and dont want to spend a lot of money. The writer also came correct on the working toilet situation LOL.
The defining thing about Tim Horton’s is that it’s completely unremarkable. I still don’t get the stigma against Starbucks. People still tell me they refuse to pay $4 for a cup of coffee.
Some people have been drinking Haterade. Why hate on Timmies? It is a Canadian success story and something that Americans just don’t understand, which is good.
Congratulations on buying into the salespitch. Tim Horton’s is the Canadian version of the Kardashians: It doesn’t do ANYTHING great… or even that well. It’s just there. And over there. And across the street. And there it is again. And again. It’s EVERYWHERE.
I make coffee at home, grind my own coffee beans, as well as cook my own foods, I know what I am eating and it isn’t stale restaurant foods with slack wait staff and high prices plus taxes and the bums rush, or drink in bars and pay a fortune for a drink, $10 for a soap suds beer is out of line, $15 for a glass of wine is too much when I can buy a whole bottle, plus I can smoke if I wish, there is no one I need to impress but me.
For such a huge and valuable company it’s truly insane how many items on their menu are basically inedible. It’s certainly nothing to be worshipped, the whole Canadian culture thing is great marketing on their part. I still love grabbing an extra large steeped tea when I’m on the go… $2 tax in, can’t go wrong.
I’m not surprised you had to comp the pic accompanying this story, but couldn’t you make it a little less obvious? #photoshopnoob #gaussianblur
Exactly. I hate Tim Horton’s coffee and would rather pay $4 for a decent coffee at Starbucks.
A: This is satire, which is what Feschuck does, and does quite well. B: This article adds nothing to the original work, so you should at least figure out how to attribute quotes properly.
Think about what you just said. 4 bucks for a cup of coffee. And you expect people not to laugh at your views?
Seriously, how the heck can this loser comment have so many thumbs up? You guys sound like a bunch of Americans. Has Toronto life online become the community of loser-hater-trolls?
Shut da fu©k up ya blister lipped ba$tard
Keep laughing. What I didn’t mention is that I make my coffee at home and only drink a Starbucks maybe twice a month!
I agree. Hate is such a strong word. It is a cup of java. Starbucks has a totally different taste; you cannot compare the two. At the end of the day who cares? I make my own espresso at home; What people want to spend on a cup of coffee is up to them. So what??
Canadian or not, it’s certainly not a healthy alternative to fast food. 432 calories for a ww bagel w/butter! Over 400 calories for a carrot/oatmeal muffin?? Now they are serving ‘fresh’ kettle chips. Who you kidding! It’s not spectacular, it’s cheap fattening food.
I guess I can just laugh and laugh and laugh because I’ve never paid that much for a cup of coffee at Starbucks.
Hi Tom…..Yes you can go wrong when their steeped tea tastes absolutely awful.