Redemption Inc., episode 7: sex sells (coconut water)
The worst has happened: Jeff, our tattoo-loving, Samson-like hero of Redemption Inc. has been chucked out of the competition. After seven weeks of ardent support on our part, we had trouble believing the lingering shot of Jeff walking away along Toronto’s waterfront would be the last time we see him (though we’ll always be fans—Jeff for life!). We’ll try to stop weeping long enough to recap where it all went wrong (the world’s most expensive pirate costume, perhaps?). Find out how the rest of the final four fared and why Jeff’s exit may be a mercy, after the jump.
This week, the ex-cons are asked to sell coconut water at the summertime BuskerFest street festival (those nonconformist producers at Redemption Inc. making zero attempt to mask the delay between filming and airing). On prep day, Alia, Sam and Jeff develop their brands, decorate their carts and then head to a parking lot where a random guy is selling straws and cups. Meanwhile, Brian sputters, scratches his head and tries to figure out if the attendees of a free festival will shell out $10 for a coconut with a straw. (A hint, Brian: probably not.) Jeff quickly decides he’ll boost his sales by dressing up like a pirate, which sounds good except the pirate costume costs him an outrageous $126. Jeff, you were robbed! (We’ve rigged together many a last-minute Johnny Depp pirate costume with eyeliner, a bandana, a white shirt and a vest.)
On the day of the festival, all four contestants are selling coconuts, though none more than Sam, who ramps up his Caribbean accent and unleashes his biceps, attracting a crowd of suddenly thirsty women. One lady produces a machete (was she walking around with that thing in her purse?), and someone else starts helping Sam hack open the coconuts. How can poor Jeff compete with that? At elimination, Kevin O’Leary, clearly still stinging from last week’s verbal smackdown from gallery owner Olga Korper, is keen to show that making money is the answer to all life’s questions. “Here’s the thing: numbers never lie,” he intones, and, since his costly costume ate into his profit, Jeff is ousted. Sad as we are, we’d like to think it was for the best—we doubt Jeff’s glorious tresses would have survived next week’s executive makeovers. With that said, and with the end in sight, we’ve jumped to team Alia, who we bet will look absolutely fetching in an ’80s power suit (and if O’Leary is responsible for the styling and wardrobe, that is exactly what will happen).
Number of times the narrator mentioned crack cocaine: 2 (a record low for Redemption Inc.)
Number of tropical-themed drink carts, out of 4: 4
Number of suggestive shots of pairs of coconuts: 3
Number of times Alia and Brian struggled with their coconut coring machines: 9
Number of times we flip-flopped about whether Jeff would be going home: 15
Number of times Jeff was eliminated (sniff): 1