Canada’s Got Talent, episode 13: the kids are all right (seriously, look at Shale Wagman move!)

Canada’s Got Talent, episode 13: the kids are all right (seriously, look at Shale Wagman move!)

Shale Wagman performs a very intricate dance (Image: Canada’s Got Talent)

Canada’s Got Talent, Episode 13

All the standards of a Canada’s Got Talent episode were there last night: Measha Brueggergosman has tall hair, Stephan Moccio’s neck remains cold (thus the jazzy scarf) and Martin Short gets in a sex joke (a very Canadian one at that, since he jokes that Rita McNeil made him a man). We saw Brueggergosman at her prickliest yet, buzzing contestant Caitlin Bell before informing her she’s not impressed by her YouTube fame: “You may have a million hits, but there’s a farting dog with two million.” In addition to getting a bit sassy, we also witness Brueggergosman’s most maudlin moment this season, where she actually cries at 11-year-old Shale Wagman’s dance performance, sobbing “I don’t have children, Shale, but I would take you home.” Last night’s episode had some obvious winners and losers—we don’t think there will be any upsets at tonight’s results show.

The Craz-E-Crew Stunt Team isn’t the first act we’ve seen with a truly terrible name (is “crazy” not extreme enough?), but their dangerous act (members have broken vertebrae and collarbones, torn an ACL and suffered myriad concussions) was one of the most thrilling we’ve seen in the competition so far. Performing gravity-defying stunts on bicycles and rollerblades, we hope to see these daredevils advance to the next round.

The Brat Pack have a fairly lacklustre name, but some great dance moves. This troupe from Montreal puts on a number that utilizes music from the zoot suit era to now (can we please call a moratorium on using LMFAO songs in dance numbers?). Their precision and sense of timing (not to mention six members with friends and family to vote) should see them through to the next round.

Oneblood is a family singing group (move over Partridge Family)—in the auditions, the guys sang a gospel song, but this time around the team sings “Ain’t No Sunshine,” including some truly hard to watch beat boxing.  The group wears matching tuxedos with red vests and ties that make them look like part of a wedding party, which is one way to lose the youth vote, and judge Short isn’t a fan, because he wishes they would continue with gospel music. We don’t expect the country will be voting for Oneblood.

17-year-old Nathan Knowles sets Brueggergosman’s heart aflutter with his truly impressive set of abs. His contortionist act wowed last time (affording Short an opportunity for another sex joke: “If you can bend like that, why would you ever leave the house?”), but even though he incorporates some aerial acrobatics into his routine, the judges feel the act is a bit boring, and we agree. The spectacle, combined with his depressing choice of music, doesn’t excite the crowd, so we expect he will be going home tonight.