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Analyzing Drake’s unintentionally hilarious new single

Since Drake’s songs are so heavy with beats and bass, the overflow of sexiness often distracts from the lyrics. Luckily, we were able to see through the steam to break down his Auto-Tune-tastic single “Shut It Down,” which leaked out over the weekend. The analysis after the jump.

These girls have nothing on you. Uh. Say baby, I had to mention that if you were a star you’d be the one I’m searching for. All the girls they got attention but I just always feel like they’re in need of something you got.

Actually, stars are giant masses of burning gas. Still, Drake sees that diamond in the rough, meaning a lonely teenage girl with allowance money to spend on iTunes downloads.

It’s obvious you’re pretty, heard that you’re a student working weekends in the city, trying to take you out girl, hope you’re not too busy and if there’s nothing wrong, got this little song for you to get ready to.

Aside from Drake’s penchant for run-on sentences, he appreciates a working girl—what kind, he doesn’t specify.

Put those fucking heels on and work it girl. Let that mirror show you what you’re doing. Put that fucking dress on and work it kind of vicious like somebody’s taking pictures.

It’s like he’s Tyra Banks reminding ladies to smize when photographers are present. Girls, remember to pose H2T!

Shut it down, down, down. You would shut it down, down, down. You be the baddest girl around, round, round. They notice, they notice. You would shut it down, down, down. You would shut it down, down, down. You be the baddest girl around, round, round. They notice, they notice. You would shut it. They notice. These girls ain’t got nothing on you, nothing on you.

The word “down” accounts for 18 per cent of the chorus. Shut what down, we don’t know—probably the club or the house lights in preparation for Earth Hour. Notice at the end he sings “You would shut it.” That’s because he just wants to dance with his date, not hear about her shift at Foot Locker.

What you need, I can be your everything. Them other niggas just wanna hit but if they had it wouldn’t know what to do with it.

Jimmy would never use the n-word. Just sayin’.

You shut that motherfucker down, down. Ice cream conversations they all want the scoop. You shut that motherfucker down, down, down. Oh yeah, oh yes indeed, you shut it down, down. Drizzy, the American Dream.

The bit about ice cream and getting the scoop is tied with 50 Cent’s “I love you like a fat kid loves cake” in terms of ridiculous gastronomical metaphors. The American Dream? ET Canada will not be happy. The song ends with more commands to shut it down.

All right, we’re not exactly Drake’s demographic: we’re not 16-year-old girls, and we are turned off by comma splices.

• Drake - Shut It Down feat. The-Dream [YouTube]

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