Scientific proof that Toronto would be screwed in the event of a zombie apocalypse
It’s election season, and everyone is talking about public transit and jobs. Meanwhile, as usual, Toronto’s most pressing problem goes sadly unaddressed. We’re talking, of course, about zombie preparedness.
An alarming new study blog post by University of Alberta engineering graduate Michael Ross argues that, when assessed according to several zombie-survival criteria like obesity, proximity to military bases and gun ownership, Toronto ends up near the bottom of a list of Canadian cities ranked in terms of how well they would withstand an onslaught of the undead. The only municipality to fare worse than us in Ross’s analysis is Windsor. St. John’s, Regina and Edmonton top the list.
Could this be why so many zombie films are shot here? Is it all foreshadowing for our inevitable doom?
Politicians take note: there’s still plenty of time to loosen Canada’s gun laws and institute mandatory cardio sessions in all workplaces. We’ll all be tired and cranky and very well-armed, but at least we’ll be ready.
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It's election season, and everyone is talking about public transit and jobs. Meanwhile, as usual, Toronto's most pressing problem goes sadly unaddressed. We're talking, of course, about zombie preparedness.
An alarming new study blog post by University of Alberta engineering graduate Michael Ross argues that, when assessed according to several zombie-survival criteria like obesity, proximity to military bases and gun ownership, Toronto ends up near the bottom of a list of Canadian cities ranked in terms of how well they would withstand an onslaught of the undead. The only municipality to fare worse than us in Ross's analysis is Windsor. St. John's, Regina and Edmonton top the list.
Could this be why so many zombie films are shot here? Is it all foreshadowing for our inevitable doom?
Politicians take note: there's still plenty of time to loosen Canada's gun laws and institute mandatory cardio sessions in all workplaces. We'll all be tired and cranky and very well-armed, but at least we'll be ready.){kind=link}
This is supposed to be funny right? Oh right it is, fuck me i better start laughing now hahahahahahahaha
This is a little funny, sure, but “Zombie Apocalypse” is allegory for any sort of out-break or natural disaster (Incedentally, this is also why zombie apocalypse mythos is so fascinating to people). This article is speaking VOLUMES about what would happen to Toronto and Torontonians and questioning this city’s disaster readiness. Should we be doing drills/practice scenarios, and have more public information about what to do in case of some large, or even medium sized, event? We do fire drills in schools and at work-places, but no-one never talks about what to do when we get outside!
Guns attract Zombies with noise. For every zombie you shoot, you will attract three. Arborist tools are key and we have lots of them here tending to our lush and wide spread urban canopy. Your math is off and your scientitians need more sciencing practice.
Oh and lots of green spaces in the city means the ability to scavenge foods as well as a waterfront loaded with boats where people can float away from the mayhem. Zombies don’t swim.