Kiss and Tell: “My date started with art and ended with nude modelling”

Welcome to Kiss and Tell, a series about the steamy, surprising and frequently absurd world of Toronto dating. Send your most memorable stories from the pursuit of love and lust in the city to submissions@torontolife.com.

I went on a date with Aaron, a super attractive guy I met on Bumble, during my summer fling phase. Although these brief encounters blurred the line between shallow fun and actual connection, I secretly hoped that one of my dates would blossom into something more meaningful.

He was Irish, Trini and Dutch—and let’s just say he won the genetic lottery. For our first date, I suggested the ROM. It seemed like a fun, casual daytime date where we could wander and chat. Plus, it eliminated awkward silent moments: there was art that could hold my attention even if he couldn’t.

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We got off to a bad start. I was commuting from Mississauga, and finding parking in the city on a nice summer day can feel like playing musical chairs. I ended up being about 15 minutes late. When I found him in the ROM gift shop, he yelled at me like a parent scolding their child. Once he calmed down, he apologized and switched to a softer, sweeter, more engaging tone. But there were red flags all over this situation. I was caught off-guard by his reaction, unsure of how to respond to a guy who could shift from angry disciplinarian to charming flirt in an instant. Still, I figured, I’m here, and he has a great jawline, hair and skin, plus he’s dressed nicely. I decided to just see how the rest of the date would go.

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We ended up having a great time at the museum, which we followed with a walk around the city and a bite to eat. We wound up at a park on the Queens Quay strip. It was honestly a lovely day. Then he said, “I don’t live too far—want to smoke a joint at mine?” He didn’t really drink, whereas I usually enjoy a glass of wine (or two) on a date. Although weed wasn’t my go-to, I figured, Why not?

We went back to his, smoked and lay on his bed in silence for a while. Since I don’t smoke much, I knew that just one or two puffs would be enough. It didn’t take long before I was feeling a little high. I closed my eyes for a few minutes, and when I opened them, I found him standing, naked, on the bed, posing like he was in an impromptu bodybuilding competition. He looked down at me, striking some sort of pose, and asked, “Do you think I could be a model?”

I was immediately embarrassed for him. I froze, trying to process if I’d heard him correctly. I had to blink a few times to make sure this wasn’t some kind of hallucination. Had I been transported to an alternate reality where this was normal first-date behaviour?

His nudity felt oddly non-threatening. I didn’t feel like it would lead to anything dangerous. Instead, he just seemed focused on his physique and inflating his ego. And I can’t deny that he did have a great body. When the shock wore off, I blurted out, “Uh, I just realized my sister needs the car. I’m gonna go now.” I don’t have a sister—that’s all I could come up with on the spot.

He stood there, still naked, now looking perplexed. I’m not sure what he expected from me. Did he think I’d say, “Oh, definitely, you’re totally model material”? I half-expected him to ask if I could take nude photos of him, like he was Smith Jerrod from Sex and the City, posing naked for an ad with just a strategically placed bottle of Absolut vodka. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. I just grabbed my keys and fled. I pictured him meticulously setting up his tripod and switching his camera to burst mode, taking a rapid series of shots as he struck pose after pose.

Just to be clear, I didn’t drive while high. After leaving his place, I took a walk, grabbed some Gatorade and eventually sobered up. Something about the absurdity of it all snapped me out of my haze and brought me back to reality. Still imagining my date positioning himself in the best light and tweaking his angles, I found my car and headed for the Gardiner. I wasn’t exactly speeding home to my “sister,” but I was swiftly putting as much distance as I could between me and that bizarre situation.