Dear Urban Diplomat: My mom keeps throwing away family heirlooms

Dear Urban Diplomat, My parents are downsizing to a two-bedroom apartment, and good on them, but here’s the thing: my mom’s aquafit friend introduced her to Swedish death cleaning—the act of purging extra stuff so your kids won’t have to after you’re gone—and now she’s decluttering herself into oblivion. When I visited last week, I saw a pile of old family photos earmarked for the dump. How do I stop her from trashing things that are important to me? —For Keep’s Sake, Etobicoke West Mall

Sometimes it’s best to course correct—in this case, that means re­directing these cherished artifacts away from the bin and into your own home. Like it or not, your mom is under no obligation to store stuff you may (or may not) want in the future. My advice is to help her purge and bring an extra box for items you want to keep. If you don’t have the space for them and are unwilling to pony up for a storage locker, you’re going to have to let them go.

Dear Urban Diplomat, Last week, my husband and I brought our corgi, Jerry, to the vet, and she left us waiting in the examination room for more than half an hour. My husband was so incensed that he posted a scathing Google review on the spot. While we were paying, I noticed the receptionist call the vet over to look at something on the monitor. The vet’s face shifted from cheerful to frosty. She then walked off without saying goodbye. I’m certain they were reading that review. My husband insists that I’m being paranoid, but really I’m just mortified. How can I convince him that he was being rash? —Screwing the Pooch, Bay-Cloverhill

We all know the internet is a festering cesspool of hastily formed opinions and ill-considered comments, but Google reviews can have a significant impact on a business’s bottom line. It’s always wise to take a beat before messing with someone’s livelihood. Tell your husband as much. You might also remind him that the best vets take time with their patients, and that can lead to delays. If you—and more importantly, Jerry—like your vet, delete that review.

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Dear Urban Diplomat,

I recently got the dreaded jury duty summons, except I’m not actually dreading it. I’m a big true crime fan, and I think it might be interesting. The problem is that my boss wants me to lie to get out of it. She says that it would be a huge headache to cover my desk if I’m selected and keeps feeding me fake excuses to get me off the hook. What can I say to make her stop? —Call of Duty, Guildwood

If you’re not averse to white lies, the fastest way to shut your boss down is to direct one at her instead of the court. Thank her for her creative excuses, then don’t use them. In Ontario, an employer is legally required to give you time off for jury duty, so the law is on your side, even if your boss is not. But take it from me: this particular act of civic duty is rarely a thrill. You’ll likely find it less like watching Law and Order and more like crawling along the DVP.

Dear Urban Diplomat, My boyfriend of almost six months is a lovely guy, but he’s a loud talker. Just when I was sort of getting used to it, I went on a two-week silent retreat, and now I find it insufferable. House parties, the movies, dinner with my parents—he’s always the loudest guy in the room, and alcohol only makes it worse. His voice just naturally carries, and it’s embarrassing. Is there a way to bring it up without hurting his feelings and sacrificing an otherwise promising relationship? —Sound Judgment, High Park–Swansea

If your issue is that your boyfriend rudely talks over other people, it’s worth having a gentle conversation about how to listen better and read the room. But the content of his communication is far more important than the volume of his delivery. Try to focus on what he’s saying instead of how he says it. We all have peccadilloes that, for better or worse, make us who we are. If you love him, I suggest taking a vow of silence on this one.

Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com