Dear Urban Diplomat: Speed-demon cyclists are taking over High Park

Dear Urban Diplomat, I run in High Park with my golden retriever, Priscilla. These days, marauding herds of midlife-crisis cyclists seem to think it’s cool to race along the roads as if it’s the Tour de France. They refuse to obey signs or slow down for pedestrians. Last week, a Lance Armstrong wannabe flew around a blind curve, nearly colliding with me and my dog. He then accused us of “taking up too much space.” Aside from yelling at these morons, what can I do? —Running Scared, Sunnyside

Sharing the road cuts both ways. If these speed demons won’t listen to reason—or to your terrified screams—get tough. Toronto police sometimes run blitzes on errant cyclists in hotspots like High Park. You could contact 11 Division and ask them to station an officer near your area, but pack your patience. Most days, cops are too busy pursuing bad guys to chase bikes.

Dear Urban Diplomat, When did the TTC become a public gym? While riding between York University and Yorkdale, I routinely encounter a tank-top-wearing dude who does pull-ups and chin-ups on the overhead bar before diving into an elaborate routine of squats and lunges. I’ll spare you a description of the grunting. And the sweating. I get that we all need to be healthy, but the subway was horrendous enough before this beefcake started thrusting in my face. Should I say something? —TTCing Red, Black Creek

Conventional wisdom dictates that we ignore someone acting oddly on a train as long as they’re not endangering fellow riders. In this look-at-me era, even exercise is a public spectacle. Witness the number of guys filming themselves at the gym and posting it online. It seems like the gains don’t count unless someone witnesses the reps. My advice: shrug it off and he’ll likely go away.

Dear Urban Diplomat, I recently received a wedding invitation. At the bottom, in beautifully embossed type, there was something I’d never seen before: a request that guests e-transfer $250 in advance to confirm their attendance. Look, inflation is killing us all right now, and weddings are wildly expensive, so I sympathize. But since when is asking for money up front kosher? And am I still expected to give a gift? Seems pushy and altogether gauche. What’s the move here? —Party Pooh-Pooher, Kingsway Village

Most couples make a small profit off their weddings, advance-money mandate or not, but with the average spend being upward of $30,000 these days, some of them aren’t taking any chances. In other words, requests like the one you received are becoming more common. If the invite is from someone close, pay and be happy that you’re helping them avoid debt. If it’s not, don’t go. But, if you want to thank the bride and groom for inviting you—while saving both money and face—send a $100 gift. Then everybody wins.

Dear Urban Diplomat, My husband has jumped onto the “rewilding” trend, which I suspect he’s exploiting as a way to shirk yardwork. He’s stopped cutting the grass and refers to our front yard as a meadow. I call it an eyesore. As for our backyard, it’s now such a tangle of weeds that I’m pretty sure several mouse families have moved in. He seems to think rewilding means letting things go to rack and ruin. I’m all for saving the bees (I buy organic honey), but I don’t want to live in a jungle. Plus, our neighbours are starting to look at us funny. Any advice? —Bush Leagued, Blake-Jones

Your spouse doesn’t realize that a “wild” garden actually requires careful planning and maintenance. I’d gently suggest that he start over and this time concentrate on fostering a well-designed habitat in a small corner of the yard. Then he can gradually expand to create various zones for different plants and animals. A measured approach will be better for the ecosystem. It will also be prettier to look at, leaving your neighbours green with envy.

Send your questions to the Urban Diplomat at urbandiplomat@torontolife.com.