Everything you need to throw a Succession premiere party
The fourth and final season of HBO’s expletive-laden exploration of family, money and trauma is back this Sunday, March 26. Gather your closest confidants and tallest business adversaries to celebrate with a Roy-worthy Succession premiere party. (Don’t worry—anything you throw will almost certainly be better than Kendall’s birthday bash.)
Heirloom sourdough
$9.50
Though it would probably only get an “Oh…great” from Logan, Mark Thuet’s crispy, chewy Alsatian sourdough is made from a starter that’s been passed down through his family for over two centuries. Best served with cold, complacent butter. | Petitethuet.com
Mini eggs
$7.75
Because, as we all know, you can’t make a tiny Tomlette without breaking some mini Gregs. | Thecandybar.ca
We Here For You mug
$27
Maximize your guests’ experience with an ATN mug emblazoned with the network’s legally ambiguous tagline. “It’s good because it’s not clear what it means.” | Etsy.com
Corporate merch
$41
From the back nine to the boardroom, this Waystar Royco visor is perfect for shielding you from all those shady goings-on. | Etsy.com
Connor Roy 2024 T-shirt
$33
Show your support for everyone’s favourite problematic presidential run. | Redbubble.com
Crystal tumblers
$66
Whether you’re toasting the next-gen Roy rebel alliance or you’re team Nero and Sporus, raise a glass of the good stuff with these German-made highland tumblers. | Cocktailemporium.com
Single malt whisky
$200
Highland Scotch whisky producer The Dalmore partnered with the V&A Dundee—where the Waystar Royco fam celebrated Logan’s 50th anniversary as CEO—on a line of single-malts so rare that they’d be a hard get even for the Roys. The rest of us will have to settle for a dram of their sweet, warm Cigar Malt Reserve. | Lcbo.com
Charcuterie board
$240
This meat lovers’ board is piled high with premium prosciutto, cacciatore and copa—and is slightly more welcoming than a game of “boar on the floor.” | Thegrazeanatomy.com
Cable-knit cardigan
$269
Get real patriarchal on your guests with Logan’s cardi of choice, a chunky shawl-collared cable knit. | Theirishdesignhouse.com
Hyper-decanter
$870
You don’t hyper-decant? You’re just doing regular decanting? For the softest tannins and most heightened aromas—essentially, to age your two-buck chuck five years in 10 seconds—pour that Burgundy into a Vitamix A3500 series, the eldest son’s preferred hyper-decanter. | Crateandbarrel.ca
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