Everything you need to throw a Succession premiere party

The fourth and final season of HBO’s expletive-laden exploration of family, money and trauma is back this Sunday, March 26. Gather your closest confidants and tallest business adversaries to celebrate with a Roy-worthy Succession premiere party. (Don’t worry—anything you throw will almost certainly be better than Kendall’s birthday bash.)

Heirloom sourdough


Though it would probably only get an “Oh…great” from Logan, Mark Thuet’s crispy, chewy Alsatian sourdough is made from a starter that’s been passed down through his family for over two centuries. Best served with cold, complacent butter. | Petitethuet.com

Mini eggs


Because, as we all know, you can’t make a tiny Tomlette without breaking some mini Gregs. | Thecandybar.ca

We Here For You mug


Maximize your guests’ experience with an ATN mug emblazoned with the network’s legally ambiguous tagline. “It’s good because it’s not clear what it means.” | Etsy.com

Corporate merch


From the back nine to the boardroom, this Waystar Royco visor is perfect for shielding you from all those shady goings-on. | Etsy.com

Connor Roy 2024 T-shirt


Show your support for everyone’s favourite problematic presidential run. | Redbubble.com

Crystal tumblers


Whether you’re toasting the next-gen Roy rebel alliance or you’re team Nero and Sporus, raise a glass of the good stuff with these German-made highland tumblers. | Cocktailemporium.com

Single malt whisky


Highland Scotch whisky producer The Dalmore partnered with the V&A Dundee—where the Waystar Royco fam celebrated Logan’s 50th anniversary as CEO—on a line of single-malts so rare that they’d be a hard get even for the Roys. The rest of us will have to settle for a dram of their sweet, warm Cigar Malt Reserve. | Lcbo.com

Charcuterie board


This meat lovers’ board is piled high with premium prosciutto, cacciatore and copa—and is slightly more welcoming than a game of “boar on the floor.” | Thegrazeanatomy.com

Cable-knit cardigan


Get real patriarchal on your guests with Logan’s cardi of choice, a chunky shawl-collared cable knit. | Theirishdesignhouse.com



You don’t hyper-decant? You’re just doing regular decanting? For the softest tannins and most heightened aromas—essentially, to age your two-buck chuck five years in 10 seconds—pour that Burgundy into a Vitamix A3500 series, the eldest son’s preferred hyper-decanter. | Crateandbarrel.ca