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These are the contenders for Toronto’s next city-themed condom wrapper

By Fraser Abe
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Toronto Public Health is sponsoring a contest to find a successor to the city’s previous generations of mildly funny Toronto-themed condom wrappers. There are ten potential designs for the public to vote on, and, amazingly, only two of them are in any way Drake-related. Here’s a rundown of all of them. (Vote for your favourite on the contest’s website.)

These are the contenders for Toronto's next city-themed condom wrapper
You know that thing when you pull out a condom, but in the back of your head, you’re like, “How can I be reminded of Drake in this moment?” Finally, a solution: this wrapper encourages people not to YOLO their way out of safe sex.

 

These are the contenders for Toronto's next city-themed condom wrapper
So, would Drake be entitled to a royalty payment every time someone rolled one of these things on?

 

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These are the contenders for Toronto's next city-themed condom wrapper
It’s not entirely clear what Queen West has to do with sex or condoms, but sure, why not.

 

These are the contenders for Toronto's next city-themed condom wrapper
This subway-inspired wrapper urges users to be responsible, but without violating the TTC’s copyright on “Ride the Rocket.” And before anyone claims that the subway is the furthest thing from sexy, let us just say: check your privilege.

 

These are the contenders for Toronto's next city-themed condom wrapper
Yet another “ride” double entendre encourages users to be safe in the streets and the sheets.
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These are the contenders for Toronto's next city-themed condom wrapper
“Lumber” is a fun nod to Canadiana, even though the closest thing to a lumberjack in Toronto is the guy at Starbucks sporting the never-been-worn-in-the-woods Red Wings.

 

These are the contenders for Toronto's next city-themed condom wrapper
Yup, it’s a raccoon with a knocked over green bin. On a condom wrapper.

 

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These are the contenders for Toronto's next city-themed condom wrapper
If this one doesn’t work locally, the designer can always peddle a lightly tweaked version in Wisconsin, Montana, or any other geographic area with “on” in its name.

 

These are the contenders for Toronto's next city-themed condom wrapper
March 10 is the 69th day of the year and—whoa, whoa, whoa—69 is also a reference to a sexual position! Did they know?

 

These are the contenders for Toronto's next city-themed condom wrapper
Is there anything sexier than Toronto’s multiculturalism?
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