Taste testing the new Tim Hortons espresso drinks with Bulldog Coffee’s Stuart Ross

Monday marked the arrival of the new line of Tim Hortons “premium espresso”–based drinks we told you about a couple weeks back. Nestled in next to the iced cappuccino machine at Ontario locations is a new spaceship-like contraption that spits out everything from a simple espresso ($1.19) to cappuccinos ($2) and fancy-flavoured lattes ($2) using powdered milk. With one press of the appropriate button, the drink comes out, coffee, milk and all (there’s also a happy face made out of sprinkled cocoa on top of each beverage). To mark the occasion—and satisfy our curiosity about the stuff—we asked Stuart Ross, the owner of Bulldog Coffee and a champion barista, for his professional’s opinion on Timmy’s latest creation. What followed was a lot of confusion and some less-than-smiley faces, starting with the espresso. »

“First off, it doesn’t look very appealing, and it smells like aluminum.”

And the taste?

“It’s like if I served you a piece of chicken and it came to you burnt. Like, ‘What are you doing?’ It’s pretty bad. If you add a lot of sugar, maybe, you know, you’d get the caffeine kick at least.”

Next, we had Ross try a cappuccino »

(Image: Meaghan Binstock)

“I’m getting a smell… I don’t know what it is. You’re really going to make me try this?”

Yes, we are.

“There’s no nice coffee taste at all. It’s almost like a double double with foam on it.”

Finally, we gave Ross the latte »

(Image: Meaghan Binstock)

“I don’t know what the difference is [between the latte and cappuccino]….Oh wait. There’s a colour difference under the foam. The cappuccino is a little darker and the latte is a little lighter. It’s kind of sweet. This tastes like hot chocolate. Taste it! It’s a hot chocolate. It doesn’t taste like coffee. It’s misleading. And there’s such tinny taste.”

(Image: Meaghan Binstock)