The cardboard complaint: Domino’s Pizza admits defeat, stalks unhappy customers
Mocked by food lovers and the stars of its own commercials (the Simpsons), Domino’s is attempting to revive its brand by admitting that its pizza sucks. Step one is an on-line campaign called Pizza Turnaround, which includes a video of Domino’s employees facing customer complaints. “Worst excuse for pizza,” reads the company’s marketing director as ominous music plays in the background. The frequency of the use of the word “cardboard” is hilariously, if not alarmingly, high.
Midway into the video, things perk up as chefs energetically emphasize that they’re changing the recipes to please dissatisfied customers. “We’ve got garlic in here, we’ve got oregano, we’ve got basil, we’ve got [beep] and a little bit of red pepper,” says one chef about the new sauce. The beep was intended to keep one of the sauce’s ingredients a secret, but it’s unintentionally funny nonetheless. This makes us—and Stephen Colbert—wonder: what was in it before?
The last scene of the video involves two Domino’s employees, map in tow, driving to a dissatisfied customer’s house to surprise her with the new pizza. The video then fades to black, requiring viewers to return to see the customer’s reaction and (we’re predicting) her subsequent request for a restraining order.