The new west end shop Sweet Addictions Candy Co. has something to satisfy every sweet, salty or spicy craving. But it also carries a whole bunch of wacky imported goods, the majority of them—unsurprisingly—from the U.S. of A. Here, 16 snacks you won’t find in just any Canadian convenience store, ranked from “Yeah, I’d eat that,” to “What kind of monster made this?"
16The brand behind America’s popular chocolate beverage (that’s neither soda nor milk) is also responsible for an artificially flavoured bar. $2.99.
15This fruit punch–flavoured, nuclear waste–red soda was phased out of Canada’s supermarkets and convenience stores in the ’90s, but you can find it here (as well as in the lyrics to Drake’s "Weston Road Flows"). $1.25.
14Know what’s better than a peanut butter cup? A peanut butter cup piggybacking a chocolate chip cookie, that’s what. $2.99.
13Because maple sugar wasn’t bad enough for your teeth already. These uniquely Canadian AirHeads (made in America) are so rare, they aren’t even listed on the company’s website. $0.40.
12Sure, you could go out and buy a doughnut, a brownie or a slice of cake, but why bother when Bazooka makes crunchy little balls that taste vaguely like those desserts? $2.99.
11The inspiration for rolled Doritos came from these hot, hot, hot Mexican chips. These habanero-and-cucumber tortilla rolls look like fluorescent green joints, but they (wisely) named them Zombies instead. $2.99.
10Chocolatey Ritz crackers work the same sweet-and-salty magic that chocolate-covered pretzels do. $7.99.
9These red, white and blue numbers come in strawberry, raspberry, blackberry, wildberry and yumberry flavours—the last two of which are arguably not real berries. Skittles: taste the patriotism! $1.79.
8People really do love birthday cake–flavoured things, and these unnaturally soft cookies are crammed with cake’s best attribute. $7.99.
7Kellogg’s Cinnabon cereal lacks pretty much everything that makes cinnamon buns so great: the warmth, the dough and the ooey-gooey icing. All that’s left is cinnamon and sugar. Still beats All-Bran. $6.99.
6Crunchy corn tortilla tubes stuffed with the promise of refried beans, guacamole, sour cream, pico de gallo, cheddar, black olives and jalapeños—all in the form of a dried-out “cheese” curd. $3.99.
5Herr’s Pennsylvania-made cheesies claim to mimic the taste of a Chicago-style deep dish pie. Regardless of flavour, they are guaranteed to turn your fingers—and everything you touch—really, really orange. $3.99.
4This spreadable marshmallow creme was created in the 1920s and led to the abomination that is the Fluffernutter—a marshmallow and peanut butter sandwich. Surprisingly, it doesn’t contain any artificial ingredients. $7.99.
3And here we have a demon breakfast pastry—the product of an unholy union between Kellogg’s and the Dr. Pepper Snapple company. It’s like a big middle finger to the most important meal of the day. $4.99.
2Somebody at the Flix Candy company has a very sick sense of humour. The gummies come in shades of yellow and green, and flavours include “strawboogy,” “sour green boogy,” and “snotterine,” which is not a word. $2.50.
1’Tis the season for flavours that shouldn’t exist, like these sugar cookie Pringles, all wrapped up in a holiday sweater–patterned tube. $2.99.
1134 Dundas St. W., 416-533-8408, @sweetaddictionscandyco
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