The Bachelor Canada recap, episode 9: to cast a Bachelorette
Dear Bachelor Canada producers,
First off, a big congrats on a strong first season. We admit we were scared that Bach Can was going to be a budget version of its American inspiration (the Sass Jordan to their Paula Abdul), but instead you produced something that was equally glamorous, gossip-worthy and cringe-inducing (what is The Bach without a little cringe?). Plus, for our money Brad is cuter and funnier than any dude the U.S. franchise has been able to scare up, so congrats…now back to work! Because while the “After the Final Rose” episode confirmed that a) Brad and Bianka are still blissfully happy, and b) Whitney is still totally crazy, we know that you’re already looking to the next season—which means picking a Bachelorette.
Since Bianka told Tyler Harcott that she and Brad plan to marry “as soon as possible,” we’re going to assume that she’s out of the running. And after Whitney confessed that she wasn’t really into Brad for the whole second half of the show, our guess is she isn’t going to get the call either. Which leaves 23 women. Here are our top choices:
It’s good to have a gimmick, and Chantelle (a.k.a. the 25-year-old virgin) has one built in. Rose ceremonies, suitors, 25-year-old virgins...insert any number of deflowering jokes here.
The woman (a neuroscientist/model!!) sounds like she was invented for a James Bond movie. For whatever reason (perhaps the fact that she’s 32), Brad didn’t seem to give Steph much of a chance, but there are plenty of other dudes out there who would kill to.
Kara is amazing and deserves some sort of consolation for getting the boot before the Wicked Whit of the West. If we were betting, we’d say Kara is most likely to wear the Bachelorette crown next season. And don’t think we didn’t notice her makeover on the recent “Women Tell All” episode—could it be that she’s already being groomed?
If you have to ask “Why Bubba?” then you obviously forgot the season premiere. The foul-mouthed big-city real estate agent with a penchant for Betty Boop clothing was perhaps the most compelling reality TV personality since Omarosa from The Apprentice. A single episode was simply not enough. Bubba out!
And we’re out too, at least for now. But we’re eagerly awaiting another crop of love-starved Canadians.
– XX The Fairy Love Mothers
(Images: CityTV)
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Courtney Shea is a freelance journalist in Toronto. She started her career as an intern at Toronto Life and continues to contribute frequently to the publication, including her 2022 National Magazine Award–winning feature, “The Death Cheaters,” her regular Q&As and her recent investigation into whether Taylor Swift hung out at a Toronto dive bar (she did not). Courtney was a producer and writer on the 2022 documentary The Talented Mr. Rosenberg, based on her 2014 Toronto Life magazine feature “The Yorkville Swindler.”
