Four Weddings Canada, episode 6: your wedding sucks
Four Weddings Canada Episode 6
This week, Four Weddings Canada showcases its first gay wedding. Naturally, given past reality TV show models, we’ve come to expect the gay contestant to be the sassiest. Not so for 38-year-old Gayle, who’s about as entertaining as a 12-hour wait in a hospital waiting room. Instead of sass, episode six gives us a battle for bitchdom, complete with some of the bluntest honesty we’ve heard to date and a bride we have to assume is an infant because she can’t understand how to eat a slice of kiwi with her bare hands (it’s just never been done before!). Find out who doesn’t like drag queens, who’s the worst person ever to her own mother and whose boobs look great in her dress in our Four Weddings Canada TV brief after the jump.
Gayle, age 38 (Budget: $10,000)
Snooze. Gayle should be so amazing to watch—she’s ex-military, she’s a lesbian, she has her wedding ceremony at a water park, and she hires a drag performer for her reception. But she’s like a ghost. Boo.
Mary, age 24 (Budget: $22,000)
Meet Mary, a bratty 24-year-old who not only hypes how much food she’ll be serving at her reception, but also yells at her mother over how much food there is (at the reception, in front of her guests). Of course, Mary isn’t just terrible to her mother—she’s also a jerk at the weddings. She hates Shannon’s pasta course, likening it to “eating lunch at a preschool,” and good luck getting her to consume one slice of kiwi in a quiet fashion (“I tried to eat a kiwi with my fingers. That doesn’t really work”). Dexterity aside, Mary also loses interest in Gayle’s drag queen performance minutes after it starts: she won’t even feign interest, yet expects people to sit through eight food courses and Russian acrobats at her reception. She complains about Julia’s small reception room countless times, and she has no concept of decorum—she’s so loud during the ceremonies and receptions (if we were there we would’ve made her shut up—perhaps by shoving a kiwi in her mouth).
Julia, age 26 (Budget: $5,000)
Julia is hilarious. She refers to Mary’s venue, with its many doors, as “a whore house for weddings,” and she gives Mary’s reception a score of two—for no reason other than “it sucks.” That’s not just funny; it’s bitchy, too. In a show that’s meant to beef up the tension with quick edits that capture catty moments, the show’s producers and editors do a great job with Julia (of course, Julia deserves a round of applause too). What does she think of Mary’s dress? Mary’s boobs look good (they really do). That’s it, that’s all. Perfect. And Shannon’s dress? She says it looks cheap, satiny and kind of like her mother’s pajamas. Marry us, Julia.
Shannon, age 29 ($26,000)
When confessed princess Shannon hears about Gayle’s drag performer, she says, “Save it for the comedy club.” At this point we can’t decide if people are more put off by being entertained or by being entertained by a drag queen specifically. That said, Shannon’s fairly harmless, though she clearly has no sense of etiquette—she even audibly spits food out into her napkin at Mary’s dinner (so, um, not dainty). But really, she’s just not a fun person: of Julia’s first dance, she says, “They bust out into fist pumping and grinding, and I’m just not into that.” We wouldn’t invite her to our wedding.
In a somewhat unorthodox turn, we’re nominating two brides for this week’s Head Bitch in Ceremony. Julia, because she’s awesome (funny and bitchy—we like), and Mary, because she might be the worst person in the world (she yelled at her mother at her wedding reception in front of everyone! Who does that?). She may even be worse than Taylor. Yes, Taylor.
(Oh, and Julia won the honeymoon.)
22 thoughts on “Four Weddings Canada, episode 6: your wedding sucks”
Bravo Kevin! I couldn’t agree with your comments more this week. Keep the comments coming, I look forward to your future insight!
I dont’ really find the show THAT entertaining..although once you start watching you kind of just sucked in. I think these articles are the best part about this show.
The beginning of the show is the worse. We have to sit through 10 whole minutes to see the women eating salad (ALWAYS, salad) and talking about their wedding. Let’s just see the actual thing instead of talking about it!
Oh my God! These to date are the most unattractive brides ever. Could the show not have spread them out through some of the other episodes.Goes to show you can dress them up
but can’t take them anywhere! Especially the gay wedding, the groom (male bride) was wearing bat wings on her suit.
Julia looked the best of all, especially at the reveal. I hope this Canadian show gets a little more exciting.
I saw this episode. Really this is a pathetic show.
One solid hour of bitching and complaints then a phony display of support and friendship at the end.
Makes women look so bad.
Much prefer ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ That show lifts the spirits.
Once again the bride who low balled everyone got the upper hand and won the prize. This is just not right!! The producer/director of the show should have done a better job in coming up with a points system that is fairer to all the brides, not just the bride who lied to win.
In a previous episode, the husband of the bride actually got to judge one of the other brides, this is ridiculous. He was never at the other two weddings and what would he base his judgment on?? His points should have been weighted especially he had a bit too much to drink. I agreed the guy was hilarious and made the show a bit more interesting to watch but come on; it was the brides’ show and not his.
As an older brother of one of the contestants , I am a little concerned. Visiting your site for the first time, I see headers”bitch o meter” and “HBIC”…wow professional journalism at it’s finest.
Your take on these young ladies on what is supposed to be their best day in their whole lives borders on cyberbullying or atleast being an internet troll….
Im sure the editing of the shows weaker moments leads to your thoughts on character, but thanks for sharing your educated opinion of these strong brave young ladies who gave up tonnes on their day just for your kind…caring thoughts about them..lol
Congrats on puttinga damper on their moment
Come on John, suck it up! You can’t be serious… are you?
This is television. This is the website for Toronto life and the entertainment section at that. Not the Washington Journal or New York Times.
You were expecting a professional in depth analysis of an entertainment, “reality” show called Four Weddings Canada? LOL.
You people aren’t getting it are you? This Canadian version of the show is NOT supposed to be like its American counterpart. It’s got more of the U.K vibe. Watch that show, and you’ll see what I mean.
I’ll say it once again… The producers have an agenda. The show they want, is the show you’re watching. Even the “annoying” narrator as everyone seems to think he is, is only playing a “part” he’s reading a script people.
Here’s some food for thought for you, Over a hundred people submitted their names to be on the next season at the Toronto Bridal show a few weeks ago. Over 100 submissions! It was posted on their Facebook page. So clearly people are enjoying it.
This was the best episode to date… I couldn’t stop laughing at Julia’s brutal honesty… I even watched it on line after because it was so damn funny! If every episode could ensnare me like this one did, I’d be hooked for life! It’s precisely what I want to see out of reality… The girls that sign up for the show know exactly what they’re getting into. So if you can’t handle criticism… Don’t agree to be on national television… PS. I’d also say that the best part of Mary’s wedding seemed to be her boobs… PSS. To Julia I say get on more reality shows… I’d totally watch!
I don’t think anyone should be congratulated for being a bitch. Nasty-ness, disguised with the term ‘brutal honesty,’ is rude and obnoxious. Have some grace!
Well, I say CONGRATULATIONS for being a brutally honest, rude and obnoxious bitch, Julia! Clearly, it’s working for you! The world need more people who call it like they see it! Wondering how someone really feels is such a perplexing waste of time! Oh, and congratulations on winning…
This episode was awesome. Call each bride whatever you like, its reality tv… its edited that way. By far the most entertaining I have seen out of all of them… “a wedding whore house”… classic.
I can’t believe Julia won. One she scored everyone low so that she gets a higher score. She would give her fellow bride a 2 or 3. I don’t think that’s fair. There should be a better scoring system.
If all it takes to win is to low ball the other 3 brides, then the producer does not what he/she is doing. That is not the way america runs its 4 weddings show. The point system on this how needs to be revamped. I think the american is more fair. Mind you they are just as phoney and deceiful as the Canadian brides because that is the of women. Just my opinion.
roger rabbit should proof read his posts, as his spelling is criminal; although he is right about the process.
by george, you are absolutely correct. I misspelled a word (deceitful)and left the word ‘way’ out of the sentence, that is the way women are. I hardly think that the spelling is criminal, just a mistake. We all make them from time to time.
rogerrabbit…. again, you don’t understand! You have left out many words that would complete the thought process as per the English language. That is not how intelligent woman are, I do believe. Spelling and a mistake is one thing, but
not to put words in their proper context as a complete sentence is another. If you are going to critique the author and the show, you have to be able to communicate it to appear you know what you’re talking about, or reap the consequences, as these brides have to do. Just saying!
I love women….. I am one.
Aw you’re so harsh! I just watched this episode and I enjoyed it, I thought all the brides were really sweet and genuine! And I thought Mary was adorable, yes she complained but you can tell that she was just being silly and that she has a good heart.
Congratulations ladies, all your weddings looked gorgeous!
Thats how woman are???? good lord, get a grip! I sincerly feel sorry for the woman in your life.
please realize that this is one of the lowest scoring winners to date, Canadian or American show. Mary had to be the buffoon of the telecast; going at her Mother the way that she did. You cannot script that. No parent wants to be made to look like a total fool. Too bad that this show does not have a hospital version; Mary would have become a patient.
I agree, that the first 10 minutes of BS should be shortened to 5 minutes, and focus more on some of the hilarious comments or moments in the wedding, such as a funny guest. Perhaps they could even ask the guests some funny things to spice the show up? I cannot stand the rude, obnoxious comments from the narrator. This show needs to take a few classes from the U.S. version.
Some of the brides on this show are quite plain-jane in a appearance too, and that’s on the wedding day!
btw….Mary is like that in real life! ha, knowing her and her husband personally, shes a bitch.
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