Four Weddings Canada, episode 5: who wants to marry a fifth grader?
Four Weddings Canada Episode 5
In this week’s episode of Four Weddings Canada, we quickly learn that, for some reason, people are still using “bling” as a reference to basically all things that reflect light. Seriously, stop it. We also meet 27-year-old bride Taylor, a woman whose intellect rivals a picky-eating, coddled eight-year-old child—she’s prissy, bratty, culturally insensitive and stupid (so, she’s good on paper, presumably?). And that’s just one of the brides. Find out who’s a real Debbie Downer, who thinks black is a “sad colour” and who refers to herself as a “people’s princess” after the jump.
Taylor, age 27 (Budget: $50,000)
Taylor’s wedding is nice. She flies into her reception (at a war plane museum) in a bomber plane. The only thing wrong with Taylor’s wedding is Taylor. Here’s Taylor being insensitive: “I do not prefer having primarily Armenian music. I think people will leave Rayana’s wedding early, including me”; being stupid: “I thought it was a burger that tasted weird, and then we found out it was lamb”; being stupider: “Her [traditional Armenian] priest looked like a wizard”; being childish: “I don’t know why people have to ruin food with a vegetable, like mushrooms”; and being stupid again: “[Rayana’s food] was like rubber, like sandpaper”). It’s evident that Taylor has an aversion to ethnic ceremonies, since she pretends to translate Rayana’s Armenian ceremony, making jokes and showing disrespect to Rayana’s traditions. Hey, lady, people drank your Bacardi Breezers and ate your buffet food in an airplane hangar. Say it with us: “Shut up, Taylor.”
Rayana, age 30 (Budget: $50,000+)
She’s sweet. She remarks twice that Gladys’s choice of black bridesmaid dresses is a bad one, because she thinks black is a sad colour. Otherwise, she’s a great guest. She’s not Taylor.
Gladys, age 30 (Budget: $55,000)
Gladys is a bit of a Debbie Downer. She seems offended by Taylor’s grand entrance (too grand, she says), and she thinks it’s rude to have a buffet at a reception (because people have to stand up and walk over to serve themselves). She even sort of complains about Lisa’s kiss with her husband (it’s too much). She’s kind of a prude and doesn’t like a lot of things. Still, she’s not hell-beast Taylor.
Lisa, age 32 (Budget: $50,000)
Lisa calls herself a “people’s princess,” which is a bit problematic, because that’s Princess Diana’s unofficial title. We’re pretty sure royalists everywhere threw down some choice words (“poppycock” and “rubbish” come to mind) when they heard that. Listening to Lisa was like hanging out with a girlfriend who just got a bedazzler for Christmas. She doesn’t shut up about “bling.” Apparently, brides who have it are awesome, and brides who have a little of it should have a lot. She says “bling” more than once, which is too much. Sure, Lisa should simmer down about how shiny she likes brides to be, but she’s nowhere near as awful as the Guinness World Record holder for worst person in the world, Taylor (we made up this fact).
For not being able to suck back a perfectly acceptable butternut squash soup because “it looks like baby food, or baby puke”; for criticizing Gladys’s dress for looking like it was made of wrapped toilet paper; for being audibly insensitive at an Armenian wedding; for finding beet salad to be too fancy; and for so many more reasons, we present Taylor with the title of this week’s Head Bitch in Ceremony.
(Oh, and Gladys won the honeymoon.)
15 thoughts on “Four Weddings Canada, episode 5: who wants to marry a fifth grader?”
Am I the only one who see that this so far is the ONLY episode that has any fairness against each other….they put 3 weddings the same budget and another wedding with a $5000 difference up against each other….why couldnt they do this for the rest of the episodes….
I have been reading these blogs since Four Weddings Canada premiered and I guess I just can’t keep silent anymore.
First things first, M74W as a future Bride too, I get what you’re saying with keeping things fair with the budget; however, a lot of the brides that I’ve known and met who have big budgets, usually are those who have a big guest list (more people, equals more booze, more food, more seat covers etc). Not only that, I happened to be paired against someone who’s budget was four times mine and personally, I didn’t think there was all that much of a difference – but I do understand what you’re saying. If anything I’m more annoyed with how the scoring was/is done. Did they really think four girls, competing for a dream honeymoon wouldn’t low ball and would be “honest and fair?” Cooooome on.
One another note, I think this is one of the first times I actually agree with the writer of this article – actually I should say, I agree with everything he has said for once. His previous articles I agreed mostly with the HBIC, minus episode two. I thought Sabrina was a bitch, but that’s just how it came across. Sorry, but anyone who gives a bride a FOUR on their wedding dress is cold hearted – it’s their wedding day, I don’t care if they’re wearing a garbage bag, they look beautiful.
Anyway, I’m rambling, getting back to what I was saying I agree with Kevin on his judgments, although I kind of think the girl who won had some bitch hidden in her .. enough to be at least mid meter.
I also have to say I can NOT wait to see what this dude writes about my episode. Having no clue at all on how they’ll edit it all together, is somewhat nerve wracking but fun all at the same time. I’m just hoping they make my episode amusing. For its premiere season, I had higher expectations – not going to lie about that. But I guess they can only do so much with what they’re working with … perhaps they should make this blog and its comments a show – not THAT would be fun OR like a Four Weddings Canada after show, where the Brides get together and call each other out on the comments that they said – NOW THATS TELEViSION!!!
it should say now* THAT would be fun
(as opposed to not that would be fun)
I am not a television producer but if I were this is exactly the kind of elements I would want in a reality show. I thought it was the funniest episode I have seen to date, thanks to TAYLOR, and the other girls were kind of boring which doesn’t make great television! Also, I think this show should be voted on by the public because HANDS DOWN Taylor’s wedding would have won – what an amazing setting for both venues! The best part about this episode is that you can tell that they truly liked each other and they each stated that they felt Taylor’s wedding was going to win … so she couldn’t have truly been a HELL BITCH … but I guess when you are writing a column those are the elements that make for good readership. I hope all the future episodes of FOUR WEDDINGS are equally as entertaining!
My God, Taylor is the worst.
Pretty hilarious that she deigns to insult others when she herself is guilty of the following :
– Buffet that looked like it came from a Pickle Barrel circa 1992
– Making an entrance on a warplane!
– Claiming to be 27 (YOU’RE NOT A DAY YOUNGER THAN 36)
– Being…um…mildly (ie: MASSIVELY) “porcine” at the altar
Worst of all, if she’s not a full-blown racist, she’s definitely an extreme xenophobe.
Seems like there a lot of women out there nowadays like Taylor. That’s not a good thing.
Taylor is hilarious in this show. I wish all the girls would try to laugh more. Anyone who thinks Taylor wasn’t funny should learn what a joke is and get a sense of humour.
I’ve been reading a lot of posts bitching and complaining about the show on a lot of different sites and forums, and I think the majority of the complainers are sorta missing the point of all this. Let me explain… it’s television. lol. Simple enough?
Even the Narrator, which a lot of people seem to be annoyed with, is playing a “part” a “character” if you will. He’s just reading a script. I’m sure if you met the guy in real life, he’s anything but.
The show is “based” on reality, and since the ladies on the show aren’t playing a role per say, it’s edited to make the ladies appear more bitchy, so the producers can achieve the desired show they want, and character they want each lady to play.
Doesn’t mean every show will be like this, but you certainly can see my point.
The producers of this show clearly want a catty, bitchy, sarcastic, annoying tone. And you know what? You’ll be watching. We all will…and do. And in the end, that’s all they care about. Because ratings = money, which = another season.
I just have to say, though I agree this episode was entertaining, I found Taylor’s behaviour and commentary to be exactly as described in the article – juvenile, overly judgemental and borderline racist!
I know Lisa personally and was a guest at her spectacular wedding. I’ll agree the overusage of the outdated term “bling” was a little off putting – but that IS who she is and what her real life tastes are.
I was offended that the other brides (who had a FANTASTIC time at the wedding – I know because I saw them)scored her event sooo unfairly low!
The hors d’oeuvres were free flowing and abundant; the soup was delicious and the pasta (not my fave part of the meal) was alright. As for the main – there were 3 options and they all chose the fish. And anyone whose complaint about fish is that it is “too fishy” is probably not a genuine seafood connaisseur. I had the prime rib and it was outstanding! Just saying…
Also, to take such a stand on having kids at a wedding (that isn’t yours) when you don’t actually have kids is pretty outlandish. Joining families is a wonderous thing, and something that would be significantly important to someone who has kids.
They didn’t even make mention of the “Photo booth” that they had at the reception, which provided endless entertainment to the guests, including the other hating brides. The steel pan was awesome by the way, but if you’re not from the islands (and extremely closed minded – here’s lookin at you Taylor) you may not understand or appreciate the significance.
All in all, as a guest at the actual wedding (I also had a few cameo appearances:) I was disappointed that Lisa’s wedding wasn’t rated higher, because they certainly deserved it! But the groom said it best when he noted that regardless of the outcome he was a winner having married his beautiful princess – how sweet!
First off, Episode 5 of Four Weddings Canada was hilarious! Of all the episodes I have watched it was my favorite, mostly in part to the first bride Taylor. Yeah, at times she was a little outspoken but I think it was just her sense of humour. I don’t think she meant any harm. All the brides seemed to get a long and if it wasn’t for a little spice from Taylor and Gladys at times I think the episode would have just blended in with the others. The next episodes have a lot to live up to and if the have anyone as cheeky as Taylor, I am sure I will enjoy them. I don’t think she was being racist either. Just having fun with a boring situation, could you imagine sitting there for an hour not understanding anything the speaker was saying. Even the brides own guests were falling asleep. At least she stayed awake for the entire ceremony. Also being critical of using the word ‘bling’ frequently or commenting on someones kiss is part of the show and probably part of the editting of the show. It is, along with Taylors energy, what makes the show! Good work Canada for putting out an entertaining show…. I am sure there isn’t a critical article like this for a man’s show where they have blond, big busted women jumping on trampolines, now is there!
All the brides probably had fun at all the weddings maybe they just had the least amount of fun at Lisa’s wedding and that’s why all brides scored her low. Also I’m sure that there were many parts of the other weddings that were not shown either because this is only a one hour show. So many weddings these days have photo booths and I don’t find them that great and definitely not unique. Dont forget it is a competition and all the brides want to win. There must be a winner and a loser. Sorry Lisa ur wedding came in last. Suck it up. Taylor and Gladys were so funny in the show they said what everyone was thinking. I am so happy these girls were on the show. They made it fantastic to watch. Can’t wait to see what’s next this week!
Kevin Naulls is just as bitchy as the girls are portrayed in the show except this is his real personality. Kevin let us all know when you are finished your period and have something nice to say. These are regular girls and you were not there and probably never met them. Get a life. It’s so sad that someone actually pays you to write this and it’s actually sad that you care enough to write every week about weddings. Your article is horrible and so are you
This episode of four weddings was my favorite!! Taylor thanks so much for entertaining us! Its nice to see people having fun with the show, made it very enjoyable to watch! Your wedding was truly amazing! By far the Best!
My family and I were guests at Taylor’s wedding, and at the risk of my remarks being deemed “self-serving”, I offer these comments. We were fortunate to be seated at the same table as the other brides, Lisa, Gladys and Rayana, so my observations with respect to these girls are based on “reality” NOT “reality television”. They were all delightful and not once during the reception did I hear them demean or criticize the event in any manner whatsoever. In fact, I did overhear some very positive comments. It is my guess that at their respective weddings, Taylor offered similar praise. Clearly, the “producers” and/or “directors” of this series edit the life out of the conversations between these parties, distort their words, attempt desperately to illicit critical remarks and limit most of the positive comments. What interest would there be in this show if it became one big “flatter fest”? I have known Taylor for many years and, in reality”, she is warm, funny, spirited, candid and kind. Under normal circumstances, she would never disrespect or hurt anyone. I know that during the process she became fond of all of these girls. I think she performed her job well, and in the eyes of the producers – she gave them exactly what they wanted. Regarding some of the above-noted parties, several of whom were disrespectful, callous and unkind themselves in their assessment of Taylor, I would suggest that perhaps some additional schooling with the emphasis on spelling and grammar (“being stupider”) might enhance their station in life. If any of you who entered such eloquent critiques of Taylor intend to watch any further episodes of this “classic” series, I would think that you would enjoy what it has to offer a little more if you checked your arrogance and self-importance at the door and added a little humility and humour to your lives. All of these weddings had personal touches and it was very apparent that each of the brides had planned their special days with imagination and love.Bravo to all three of them. This show was anything but “reality” – trust me!
@Pam, ummm as for grammar, the correct term I believe you intended to use was elicit…not illicit???
I was at Lisa’s wedding, I was even on screen a few times I knew this from the obscured amount of msgs. The wedding was Beautiful and well all the other brides really did enjoy the wedding I know they joined in on our dance circle and got “cray” with all the music.
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