Weather Report: winter is probably sticking around for at least two more weeks

This is your biweekly reminder that winter will never end.

We know this because the CBC spoke with Environment Canada, whose meteorologists broke the bad news: all the evidence points to temperatures staying unseasonably cold through at least the middle of April. Environment Canada lays the blame not only with this winter’s unusually vicious air patterns, but also with the persistence of snow on the ground and on the surfaces of Lake Ontario and the other Great Lakes. Apparently all the ice reflects incoming sunlight, sending our precious warmth back out into space, where it’s presumably enjoyed by ungrateful astronauts, those jerks.

There is some good news, though: the next four days are supposed to be reasonably warm and sunny.