Real Weddings: Whitney and Alex

Whitney Waks, a 36-year-old jewellery-design company founder, first met Alexander McAlpine, a 36-year-old recruitment consultant, in 2010, when they were both studying at Western University. After a one-and-a-half-year relationship, the pair parted ways for over a decade before reuniting in 2022 over Instagram. They quickly rekindled their romance, got engaged and wed in a lavish 350-person red-themed affair at the Carlu in 2024. Here’s how it all came together.

Whitney: I first met Alex in January of 2010, when I was in my fourth year at Western. I went over to a classmate’s house to work on a school project. We both lived off-campus, and my classmate happened to be my neighbour. Not to sound like a complete cheeseball, but when Alex, their roommate, came home, I looked at him and thought, Ooh, who is that? I had a crush on him before we even spoke. We were neighbours, but somehow we’d never met before. He had been under my nose the whole time.

Alex: I came home from class and was instantly taken aback by Whitney. I thought, Who is this beautiful person in my house? As soon as she left, I asked my roommate about her. After that, Whitney and I started to see each other at pre-drinks and parties hosted by friends of friends. Dating is a very different dynamic at university. You’re not really going on formal dates. But, within a month or two of meeting, Whitney and I were hanging out almost every night. She’d be over at our house watching a movie with our friends. We got very close very quickly.

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Whitney: In March, there was a big party at Western called the Splash Bash. That’s when Alex and I had our first kiss—which I instigated!

Alex: I was very shy back in the day.

Whitney: Part of why I liked Alex so much was because I wanted to pull him out of his shell. As we got to know each other better, I got to see him open up. He was silly and easy to talk to. We had a good connection.

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Alex: I could tell that Whitney cared for the people around her. She would always be there for her friends, to listen to them vent about their boyfriends or girlfriends or help them out with a school assignment. Her laugh is infectious, and I instantly gravitated toward it.

Whitney: Alex and I continued dating during fourth year and after graduating, when we both moved back in with our parents in Toronto. My family lived in Forest Hill, and his family was at Avenue and Eglinton. But the issue was, I was Jewish and Alex wasn’t. At that point in my life, it was very ingrained and important to me and my family that I marry a Jew. That became complicated. We were seeing each other, but he wasn’t a part of my family life. It just became too hard, so we broke up at the end of 2011, after a year and a half of dating.

Alex: I was taken aback and heartbroken. We were very much in love, but we were also both very young. I just figured it wasn’t the right time. But, over the years, Whitney would always still be on my mind. I’d see a photo of her pop up, or I’d hear about someone who saw her at a party. Each time, it brought back those feelings. I took any chance I got as an excuse to catch up with her. She’d post an interesting photo or a vacation picture on Instagram, and we’d message back and forth. Then I’d ask her out for a coffee or a drink to reconnect, but she’d always turn me down. That happened a few times over the decade that we were apart.

Whitney: I think I brushed him off because I didn’t want to go down that path again. Then, in the summer of 2022, a family friend was asking me about my love life. I really hated dating and felt anxious about it. I was frustrated that I hadn’t found anyone. She asked me, “Is it really a big deal for you to be with a Jew?” It was at that moment that I realized I’d gotten older and didn’t care as much. My family friend reassured me that not being with someone Jewish wasn’t that big of a deal and that my family would just want me to be happy. That day, I realized it was more important to be with someone who loves me. A month later, Alex posted an Instagram story of himself with a fresh haircut, and I thought he looked cute. So I responded.

Alex: That was in August. After a short message exchange, I asked Whitney out for drinks, and she finally said yes. I was over the moon. We went to the Writers Room Bar at the Park Hyatt Toronto. As soon as I saw her, all my feelings instantly came back. We sat there for almost four hours talking over drinks. It felt effortless.

Whitney: We covered a lot of big topics on that second first date, from what dating had been like to having kids and marriage. I told him it wasn’t important to me anymore to date someone Jewish. It felt so easy and natural to be with Alex. It was a really great date.

Alex: I remembered that Whitney hated going on walks, so when she invited me to walk her back to her condo at Yonge and St. Clair, I knew it was going well. At the end of the night, I asked if I could see her again, and she said yes. I knew very quickly that this was something that was going to be forever.

Whitney: After that date, I called my mom right away and told her that Alex and I had reconnected and that I thought it could be something. She was really supportive and said she just wanted me to be happy.

Alex: Our relationship progressed quickly after that. Within a few months, I was spending five or six nights a week at Whitney’s condo. In December, I decided to convert to Judaism. Even though it wasn’t an issue anymore, I knew how important it had been to her. I was born Christian, but I wasn’t raised religious. We started the process in February of 2023. Then, that June, I officially moved into Whitney’s place.

Whitney: Early on, I sent Alex pictures of the style of engagement ring I liked. I work in the industry—I’m a custom jewellery designer—so I got a friend to help Alex with my ring. I inherited a diamond from my grandmother that I knew I was going to use. I chose a three-stone ring with an emerald-cut diamond and two tapered baguettes on a white-gold band. It’s very classic.

Alex: I wanted the engagement to be private and simple, and I knew Whitney would want that too. I planned it for a Wednesday evening in October of 2024. I told Whitney we were going out for dinner and drinks. While we were out of the condo, one of my best friends came in and decorated the place with rose petals. On the table, they placed a framed copy of the first picture Whitney and I had ever taken together, which was of us hugging at a friend’s party in university. They also hid a cellphone recording in the corner so we’d have footage of the moment. Once we got home, Whitney saw the whole set-up and asked, “What’s going on?” Then I got down on one knee.

Whitney: I was shocked at first, then excited. Alex and I both knew we’d have a big wedding. I have a large extended family, and my parents have a big network of friends. Alex has a lot of cousins on his side. Our wedding party would be 25 people in total: 11 bridesmaids and 14 groomsmen. Our guest count was 350. Plus, we wanted to bring in Sash Simpson, the chef and owner of Sash Restaurant and a family friend, as our chef. It’s hard to find a venue in Toronto for a wedding that size. We were considering the Royal York, but my eldest sister got married there, so we opted for the Carlu instead.

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Alex: The Carlu also fit with the theme of our wedding. We both knew we wanted to have a black-tie wedding and a very elevated, elegant affair. We pictured something inspired by The Great Gatsby: traditional and classic, with champagne coupes and a big band.

Whitney: I didn’t want to have a traditional white wedding. I’m just not that kind of girl. Red has always been my favourite colour, and I’ve always loved red roses. When I told our wedding planners this, they gave us the idea of going deep into the red theme. It would be something different and bold, which is exactly what we wanted.

Alex: We were both a little nervous about how it would turn out. There would be red carpets, red draping and red tablecloths, which can be overwhelming. But, the further along in the process we got, the more we realized it would make for a one-of-a-kind wedding.

Whitney: I really like feathers, and I wanted to incorporate them into my wedding dress somehow. I had it custom-designed by Lee Petra Grebenau at Powder Bride, who helped me take elements from three different dresses to create a whole new gown with beading and a feathered skirt. I always thought that I was going to have a gown with sleeves, but I ended up going with a strapless one. I liked the way it hugged my body.

Alex: I always knew I wanted a classic tuxedo with patent leather shoes, like something out of a James Bond movie. I had dreamed of creating my own custom tuxedo, and our wedding was the perfect opportunity. A friend of Whitney’s father’s owns Michel’s Bespoke, and I was lucky enough to work with him to custom-make my tux. It was a little more time-consuming than I expected—I saw him five times over the course of three months—but he ended up creating the perfect tux for me. It used a wool-and-mohair-blend fabric with silk lapels and a standard fit.

Whitney: The night before the wedding, I had a sleepover at my parents’ house with my best friend, just like we had done the night before her own wedding. It felt like a tradition. Plus, I would be getting ready there the next day, so it was easy to wake up and get started. In the morning, all my bridesmaids came over for hair and makeup. My mom set out a breakfast spread in the kitchen. It was so nice to get ready with them, my cousins, my sisters, my parents and Alex’s mom. It was a whirlwind. It felt like a Vogue photo shoot was going on in the house.

Alex: Whitney and I have a very fluffy white-and-gray cat, so I figured getting ready in our condo was not a good idea given my black tuxedo. We were going to spend our wedding night at the Park Hyatt Toronto, so I decided to book an extra night and get ready there before the wedding. I saw my barber that morning to style my hair. Then I had a couple of friends who lived nearby come to the hotel to help me get ready. Whitney came to the Park Hyatt for our first look, then we went to the Carlu and took photos with our family and friends.

Whitney: I was blown away when I saw the venue for the first time. I loved how different the ceremony area looked. It didn’t even really look that “bridal.” It reminded me of a magazine event space. There were vibrant, cascading roses on the staircase leading up to the chuppah, which is a canopy the couple stands under during the ceremony, representing the home they’ll share together as husband and wife. I loved how the eye got lost in red right away.

Alex: Our ceremony was in a circular hall with a central fountain, called the Round Room. Then our cocktails were next door, in the larger Sky Room, which has skylights and would be decorated mostly in white with some red accents, to balance out the other spaces. Our reception was in the Concert Hall, which is the Carlu’s largest event space and has two stages.

Whitney: The moment before I walked down the aisle, I felt nervous for the first and only time that day. The entire room was going to be looking at me. But, as soon as I started walking, I was so excited. It was surreal. The whole room was so full of love. I couldn’t wait to meet Alex at the end of the aisle.

Alex: I was trying to fight back tears. She looked gorgeous. The look on her face, and her parents walking down the aisle, all of us standing next to my parents at the chuppah—it just felt perfect.

Whitney: Our ceremony was only about 20 minutes long. In keeping with Jewish tradition, we ended with a breaking of the glass, which symbolizes the fragility and permanence of marriage. The band was queued up to play Justin Bieber’s “Anyone,” which has the lyric “You are the only one I’ll ever love,” the moment the glass broke. Then we kissed, and the room went nuts. As one last Jewish tradition, we had three of my uncles perform a blessing over the bread, which was really special for Alex and me.

Alex: I almost followed a career in the culinary industry. Whitney’s mom and one of her sisters are formally trained chefs, so the food was really important to us. Sash Simpson did a great job with it. For dinner, we started with a caesar salad. Then our guests had a choice of steak frites, sea bream or a cannellini-bean cake. We wanted to make sure no one, at any point, was ever hungry, so we had tables of baguettes and onion ring towers that people could snack on.

Whitney: We had a few different bars set up. There was one for shaken beverages, another for beverages on the rocks, some serving specialty cocktails, and others serving wine, beer and traditional cocktails.

Alex: We hired a 16-piece band with a full brass section, drums and multiple singers, which went hand-in-hand with the energy we wanted to bring to our wedding. We asked them to do a lot of the classics and Motown along with some hip hop and R&B favourites from the era when Whitney and I were first dating in university. The band played until 12:30 a.m., then we transitioned to a DJ.

Whitney: Everyone was having a blast. It was a very high-energy wedding. We kept it going until 2 a.m., when we got cut off.

Alex: After the wedding, Whitney and I went back to the Park Hyatt. We debriefed on the day and who we talked to and danced with. It was a whirlwind.

Whitney: The wedding was beyond my wildest dreams. Our planner and all of the vendors really hit the nail on the head. As people like to say, they understood the assignment. The red was so juicy. Everything was so glamorous, so extra and so us.

Alex: Afterward, Whitney and I went to Jamaica for a few days, just to get away. But we’re planning a longer honeymoon in May. We’re going to spend three weeks in Japan.

Whitney: Married life feels the same. But it took me a few weeks to get used to calling Alex my husband.

Alex: Everyone says that, for a little while, you have your honeymoon stage. I feel like I’ll be in my honeymoon stage forever.

Cheat Sheet

Date: November 9, 2024 Photography: 515 Photo Co. Videographer: Hidden Light Films Planner: Duet Events Getting-ready venue: Park Hyatt Toronto, bride’s home Wedding venue: The Carlu Officiant: Rabbi Yossi Sapirman Florals: Fiona Liston of Stemz Additional decor: Reznick Event Carpets Event signage: Paper and Poste Food: Sash Simpson Cake: Truffle Cake & Pastry Late-night food: Sash Simpson Entertainment: Sole Power Productions Guest favours: Red Candy Apples with a donation to the Hospital for Sick Children Whitney’s dress: Powder Bride, Lee Petra Grebenau Alex’s tux: Michel’s Bespoke Whitney’s hair: Virasack Phomsaphao, Saysal Studio