Ballpark calamari, anyone? Here’s the new starting lineup of snacks and drinks at the Rogers Centre

If you’re still grieving last year’s World Series loss, consider this your moment to slip into grief’s least-discussed stage: eating your feelings in a crowd of nearly 40,000 strangers. Ahead of the Jays’ home opener against the Athletics tomorrow, the Rogers Centre dropped its new lineup of concession-stand snacks. Past seasons have leaned into deep-fried delirium—we see you, cotton candy poutine—but this year, the new additions don’t rely as much on gimmicks.

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A couple items are even being touted as “healthy” options. That’s not a word that comes to mind with baseball cuisine, but it’s not the first time we’ve seen more cholesterol-conscious ingredients, like greens and quinoa, elbowing their way into the park. This year, there’s even a vegetarian “steak” and mushroom bowl. Whatever their nutritional value may be, we checked out what snacks the stadium has cooked up for the Blue Jays’ 50th season.

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Garlic knots

While they aren’t Little Caesar’s Crazy Bread, these pillowy, garlicky, parm-dusted garlic knots do scratch a similar itch. They’re served with marinara sauce and can be found at the Catch Bar.

Crispy calamari

The ballpark snack we didn’t know we needed: calamari. Deep-fried squid rings are tossed in Old Bay seasoning and served with garlic aïoli for dunking. Seafood lovers can enjoy this antipasto staple in section 220.

Ace dog

Here we have a hot dog (a slightly more traditional game-day snack than squid) masquerading as nachos. It’s topped with queso, white onion, spicy banana peppers and crushed-up tortilla chips.

Al pastor dog

This new addition to the hot dog lineup gets piled high with pulled pork, pineapple pico de gallo and ancho chipotle. Delicious? Yes. Structurally unsound? Also yes. It can be ordered at the Schneider “porch.”

Viande fumée poutine

Allez l’équipe! Instead of cotton candy, many of the stadium’s food stands are loading up crispy McCain fries, squeaky(ish) cheese curds and beefy gravy with Montreal smoked meat.

Crispy chicken sandwich

Available only in the Heinz Club 218 is this fried chicken on a bun, dressed with a smoky mustard-mayo sauce and pickles.

Meatball panini

Riffing on Subway’s best sandwich, the new Rogers Centre panini is loaded with four paunchy meatballs, melty provolone, marinara and two stripes of basil pesto. Warning: the crusty ciabatta may destroy the roof of your mouth.

Chicken shawarma wrap

No doubt about it: executive chef Matthew Munro was most excited about the two shawarma-based offerings available in section 128—and we can see why. Juicy marinated chicken, red onion, tomato, lettuce and a dollop of hummus and garlicky toum are all tucked into fresh saj.

Beef shawarma bowl

The only knock against this bowl is that it requires two hands and a level of focus incompatible with doing the wave. But it’s worth it for the slow-roasted spiced beef.

The Big Slugger

Speaking of spiced beef, this smoky smash burger is seasoned with sazón (a smoky blend of paprika, garlic, onion and cumin) and topped with American cheddar, sautéed slaw, tomato and onion. Available at multiple concession stands in the concourse.

“Steak” and mushroom bowl

Exclusive to the Heinz Club 328 (which offers both memberships and single-ticket seats), this convincing-enough umami bomb of a bowl is arguably the sleeper hit. Battered and deep-fried mushrooms are topped with Beyond Meat steak tips, crispy onions, veggie gravy and chimichurri mayo.

Rocky Mountain sundae

Minty Nanaimo bar chunks, buttery graham cracker crumbs and shredded coconut are piled over vanilla soft serve. (Parents, you’ll want to steer clear of section 103, because that’s where you’ll find this sugar bomb.)

Uncrustables French toast

This funnel cake inspired by French toast is the Rogers Centre’s biggest home run. Two thin cinnamon-laced pancakes meet to form a soft pocket that’s stuffed with raspberry jam, dusted with icing sugar, and cloaked in whipped cream and strawberries.

Returning champ: Cubano sliders

Making a comeback is this Jays-branded bucket of baby brioche buns stuffed with pulled pork, ham, Swiss cheese and dill pickles, then slathered in ballpark mustard. One hand eats, the other roots.

Exhibition Old Fashioned

The Mad Men–era cocktail gets a Canuck twist with Canadian Club whisky, maple-cinnamon bitters and a full orange wheel for a garnish. It’s more of a sip slow and contemplate in a mahogany-panelled room type of drink, but a blue plastic seat under stadium lighting will have to do.

Line Drive Lemonade

Smirnoff vodka, dragon fruit, a pinch of ginger for a subtle kick and “homemade” (whose home, we wonder?) lemonade make this drink a hot-and-sunny, dome-wide-open antidote. On game day, it’s served in a baseball-helmet-wearing shaker that visitors get to take home.

Returning champ: Low and Away

Another holdover from last year is this citrusy zero-proof option made with cranberry juice, orange, tangerine, peach syrup and ginger ale. It’s served in a novelty souvenir highball cup.