Undercover Boss Canada, episode 6: we needed a beer after this one

Molson Coors CEO Dave Perkins pulls a clever switcheroo on this week’s episode of Undercover Boss Canada. He pawns off his week undercover on chief legal officer Kelly Brown on the grounds that he is “too recognizable within the company” to pass unidentified (a cheap trick that definitely makes him an everyday zero). Lucky for Brown—who pretends to be thrilled at the opportunity, but clearly is not—her disguise stops short of a shaved head or a wig. See how she does as a Molson factory worker—and why we could never work with her—after the jump. Brown starts in Moncton at Molson’s newest brewery, and it quickly becomes obvious this is going to be another PR-filled episode (how come that seems to happen when women execs go undercover?). Here is a summary of all the PR stunts in three parts: First, Brown works with the only female brewery technician in the factory (to show that Molson supports women in a male-dominated industry); next, she preps beer bottles for cleaning (to show that Molson is environmentally conscious); and finally, Molson just happens to sponsor a shoreline cleanup on the very same day that Brown is being filmed there. Coincidences are fun, aren’t they? Despite the PR bonanza, Brown herself seems like a good sport. We’d like her better, though, if she could manage to do anything factory-related without shrieking. Every minor hiccup is an occasion for a high-pitched yelp: the conveyor belt stopping; the conveyor belt going too fast; and a beer bottle breaking. Some advice for Dave Perkins: next time you make someone do your dirty work, make sure they can suffer in silence.

She lacks toughness. One of her co-workers put it diplomatically: “I don’t think she has the line technician attitude.”

She cries when factory worker Christine talks about her daughter, who is blind, and tears up again when talking about it to the cameras.

She bluntly says, “People always say women can’t work well together. That’s bullshit.” You go, girl!

She whines about being physically tired, mentally exhausted and sick to her stomach. We get it! You don’t like factory work!

She cleans kegs efficiently and doesn’t even notice that her shift has ended.

She says, “There’s no way in hell I would do this type of shift work”—right in front of a guy who does shift work.

Brown manages to convince her boss she is excited about going undercover, which convinces us that she’s an expert in deception.

Fired. Listening to her shriek all day would drive us nuts.