Undercover Boss Canada, episode 2: panic and perspiration at Pizza Pizza

Pizza Pizza CEO Paul Goddard was the second bigwig to go incognito for Undercover Boss Canada, the W Network show that touts itself as an “emotional journey” for bosses but is really just a chance to mock their inability to perform basic tasks. After his transformation, Goddard embraces his spiky haircut, frosted tips (really?), partially shaved eyebrow (again, really?) and ’90s grunge outfit. “It’s my high school look,” he told his wife, clearly loving the excuse to relive his bitchin’ youth. Despite his very narrow idea of what it means to look like a factory worker, we witnessed some pretty heavy sweating from Goddard—the man did hustle. But did he really rise to the challenge? Find out what made Goddard an everyday hero and what made him a big ol’ zero in our TV brief after the jump.

Over at the dough factory, Goddard covers his new look with a hairnet and a lab coat (that, in real life, belongs to someone named Kumar), and sweats profusely while trying to keep up with the dough-making machines. Actually, the rest of the episode is a series of segments with the same plot: Goddard is too slow at cleaning baking trays, so he panics and sweats; Goddard is too slow at sprinkling cheese on pizzas, so he panics and sweats; Goddard is too slow at unloading trucks, so he panics and sweats. We hope he was hydrating.

Wherein we note where the CEOs embrace life as a plebe (everyday heroes, represented by Amy Poehler’s Leslie Knope), and where they out themselves as fat-cat fakes (everyday zeroes, represented by Ricky Gervais’s David Brent)

He uses his own experience working in the oil industry as inspiration for his new identity as an unemployed oil rigger. Way to make like an actor and find your motivation!

When a store manager suggests sponsoring a soccer team, he thinks about how the jerseys would help with brand recognition. “Yeah, and it would be fun for the kids,” she reminds him. Oh, right.

He’s committed to making perfect pizzas, even when he falls behind. No Domino’s incidents here.

After several hours of deliveries, he still can’t push the dolly in a straight line. Should we administer a Breathalyzer?

He drives a convertible and has ostentatious Renaissance-style paintings in the boardroom. Puh-leeze.

Come on, we’ve seen ads for the show in Pizza Pizzas across Toronto—this was a promotional stunt more than anything else.

Hired. A sweaty worker is a hard worker.