Redemption Inc., episode 3: we need to talk about Kevin
The conniving has begun and alliances are forming, which means Redemption Inc. is really heating up (and, presumably, that these ex-cons got to watch Survivor in the slammer)! Along with the cunning tactics, this week’s episode included a giant dog suit, the suspension of Joseph’s bathroom privileges and a remarkably subdued Kevin O’Leary (come on, man! Chew someone’s head off—not Jeff’s). Who opted out of the scheming? When did Kevin O’Leary grow a heart? We tackle these burning questions in our TV brief after the jump.
This week, our favourite ex-cons ran a not-so-twee dog spa in Trinity Bellwoods Park. We immediately braced ourselves for the canine puns, and the lovable Redemption Inc. narrator didn’t disappoint, telling us that the competition was “going to the dogs” and that it would be “the hairiest challenge yet.” Zing! The crew met in the park to get their instructions and, while Kevin O’Leary, Brian O’Dea and Eva the dog spa lady were dry under their umbrellas, the show’s producers made it quite clear that the ex-cons did not deserve such consideration. They got wetter and wetter, all the while listening and nodding and pretending they weren’t soaked to the skin. The lesson we took away from it all? Prison prepares you for wetness.
Leslie was team leader this week, and his tendency to bark (check out that dog pun—we could write for Redemption Inc.!) orders had Alia and Joseph forming an alliance against him. Jeff, our purehearted hero, wanted no part of it, saying that he’d walk away from anyone who tried to corrupt him into such an unholy dalliance. “I want a fair playing field,” he said. So do we, Jeff, but we’d be crushed if your integrity is the reason for your departure (#TeamJeff). By the end of the afternoon, too few dogs were washed, too few doggy outfits were sold, and Joseph and Les had both toured the park in a giant dog costume, scaring the bejesus out of dogs and owners.
Back at Redemption HQ, O’Leary decided that Leslie completely failed as leader, but the verbal beatdown we were expecting never came. Instead, O’Leary focused on how Leslie could learn from his failure. “No man is an island,” he explained sagely, clearly impressed by his own patience and wisdom. We were counting on O’Leary to provide uncomfortably direct criticism (and a few arrogant bon mots)—not encouragement. Kevin, we get that the show is about helping ex-cons build a new life, but we hardly know who you are anymore. Are you taking everyone out for Happy Meals next week? Probably.
• Number of bleeped-out words: 6
• Number of times someone reminded us that Les isn’t here to make friends: 5
• Number of times Les referred to dog genitalia: 3 (Why, Les? Why?)
• Number of dogs freaked out by the doggy mascot suit: 3
• Number of times we were freaked out by the doggy mascot suit: 9
• Number of times Kevin O’Leary has actually worked at the desk in the boardroom: 0
• Number of Dragon’s Den commercials played during the hour: 2