Gunless: the drinking game

Gunless: the drinking game

It was a crowd of us, two old ladies and a morbidly obese man with two plastic bags full of snacks at a Sunday afternoon screening of Paul Gross’s new western flick, Gunless, about an American outlaw seeking refuge in a peace-loving 1880s Canadian town (it’s To Wong Foo with cowboy hats). Naturally, sitting alone in the dark made us think of alcohol. Besides, what pairs better with gun slinging than slinging whiskey? As we stated in our earlier Chloe: the drinking game, we’re not recommending that people sneak booze into the theatre. Download the film and watch it at home instead. The game rules, after the jump.

Take a drink:

• Whenever someone says “eh.” We counted three from the town’s doctor, who offers complimentary bullet extractions. It’s the origins of free health care, folks!

• Every time a French-Canadian stereotype is played out by the owner of the general store. The accent! Escargot! Snooty attitude!

• Every time Paul Gross broods for the camera. Whether he’s deep in thought, in agony, being sexy, about to shoot someone or surveying the land, it’s all the same expression.

• Every time you expect Graham Greene to reach into his back pocket to offer some fake Lakota to an injured cowboy. See Greene’s Lakota spoof on the Rick Mercer Report.

• Every time a romantic comedy cliché plays out between Gross and Sienna Guillory. He’s rowdy playboy, she’s an uptight chick. They initially hate each other but are brought together under unusual circumstances. (There’s also a party where one gets a hot make-over.) This conceit could probably exist as its own drinking game.

• Every time a character with a different accent is introduced. Apparently, even middle-of-nowhere Canadian towns in the 19th century were more multicultural than a Benetton ad.

• For every “Canadians are peaceful, Americans are violent” reference. Take an extra swig if the reference is followed by a nod to free health care or multiculturalism.

• Every time the tone of the movie (it’s a comedy; no, it’s an action; no, it’s a drama) switches abruptly. Warning: this happens a lot. Take small sips.

• Every time you mistake a Mountie in the film for Gross.