Four Weddings Canada, episode 3: cultural insensitivity edition

54 thoughts on “Four Weddings Canada, episode 3: cultural insensitivity edition”

1. First of all, your columnist should get the contestants’ names right. It’s Rafela not Rufela! Clearly, you’re not of Italian heritage! As a guest at Rafela and Geoff’s wedding, I can confidently say this tv program did not fairly portray their wedding. I can tell you first hand that the decor was stunning, the food was great and the overall experience was amazing. Also, you should get your facts correct. The chicken was under-cooked at Samantha’s wedding not Rafela’s. The comment re Samantha’s train was also made by Jessica, but of course you didn’t include this in your comments! You also neglected to mention how kind and complimentary Rafela was. She rarely made negative comments. She had something nice to say about each and every bride. She definitely does not belong on your bitch-o-meter!

2. The awkward moment when people who write for a living don’t even get their facts straight…. Rafela’s chicken, as mentioned before, was not under cooked. It’s quite evident that who ever wrote this piece did not watch the episode more than once before letting all hell-break loose with their nasty comments. There’s a line that needs to be drawn between writing an enticing article and just making up BS!
   I find it appalling how many negative things you have to say about each of the brides. Every single wedding had something special and unique to offer and each bride was absolutely radiant on her special day!
   To Samantha, Huria, Jessica, & Rafela, congratulations and all the best with you marriages! You all looked stunning and put on spectacular weddings! :)

3. Great Article! Anyone that gets married on reality tv deserves to be ripped on! Keep it up!

4. @Alex

   You’re condemning the very same act which this television show thrives on – negative things said about each bride. These girls have exploited their weddings to feed their egos – get on tv, win, be the better bride was their MO. They attended each other’s weddings for the sole purpose of judging the bride on her special day – harsher judgement equalled greater air time and a better chance of winning. It’s a sad state when we’re encouraged to be mean to win a honeymoon.
   Misspelled names and incorrect information in any publication is inexcusable, yes, but calling these girls (yes girls, not women) out on their bad behaviour should be applauded.

5. I’m really shocked and confused at the descriptions in this column, and also the rating on each bride. I really don’t think we watched the same episode? The Chicken comment was so wrong…it was the wrong wedding.
   As for the bitch-o-meter, Rafela was anything but a Bitch…she was friendly and kind and had honest feedback.

   Each bride had a great wedding, with a few hiccups here and there, but overall, each was amazing in it’s own way.

6. Although your trying to put together an entertaining piece of the show, as mentioned above I dont believe you fully paid attention to the show as you quoted the wrong girls saying things, your facts were mixed up as to what happen to who or who serve undercooked chicken or whom said what etc….It would have been nice for you to get the facts straight if you want any creditiblity for your proprosed bitchness… Im assuming there is no editor like the one putting the show together to ensure the girls “appear” to be alot bitcher than they probably are. I think you should write a piece on the bitchness of the male commenter of the show.

7. I completely agree with the previous two comments. Whoever wrote this article clearly did not do the proper research before publishing is article. I would also like to say that I think it is great that you are writing about a local show like this but I do not like the purpose of your writing. If you want to critique the show great, but to personally critique and pick apart these women is awful. You did not attend their weddings and do not know them personally. What you are writing is mean. Who creates a “bitch-o-meter” about a Toronto reality show about brides?
   I do have to say that I do not respect the choice of the show to not disclose the fact that Jessica was a wedding planner. This was not a fair playing field and I think had the other brides known, she would have been perceived much differently. In which case I feel Rafela would have deservingly won.

8. @anon People who remain “anonymous” should not be allowed to remark at all. PS… I was ON an episode and actually agreed to do it because a friend of mine works in the business and they needed brides badly. Not all of the brides are egomaniacs and I actually maintain a friendship with the other three in my episode. I agree that the show is seeming to alter the true experience of each wedding but COME ON!!! We all expected that and don’t particularly care! Though it is true that we were encouraged to be mean…there IS a way to be honest and kind at the same time. Wait for the rest of the season to play out before you stereotype everyone who is on the show!!! It is ignorant to do so!

9. Is this our Canadian way or something? To wine and bitch about a show that is “designed” for nit picking, only to be upset that people aren’t being nice and cuddly and cutesy and warm and care bear like? LOL.

   When you see a post from someone that mentions they deserve it, because it’s reality TV, you need to really think about that for a moment. Reality TV people.

   Ladies, ladies, ladies, this isn’t “Say yes to the dress”(even they judge to a point) I feel bad for those dresses that don’t get picked.

   The whole plot of the show is for women to “judge” and “nit pick” This is after all a competition.

   I see nothing but comments from people saying how mean they are, how judgmental they are, how this they are, how that they are…. uhhh.. yeah? That’s the show!

   Bottom line is here people, whether you like it or not, it’s a form of reality TV. The idea of the show is to do exactly what they’re doing. If you keep this in mind, you’ll enjoy the show. If you’re looking for a show thats “POINT” is to be more cutesy and soft, then you need to find that show. This is a competition show. Competition people. That’s like saying the Black-Hawks played too hard against the Leafs. And you’re expecting them not to?

   It’s a competition show.

10. I would like a caption on the photo of brides, please, so I know who’s who (since I don’t watch the show–the recaps are MUCH funnier).

    People need to get over how “mean” you’re supposedly being in your recap. If you go on TV to criticize other people, then you put yourself out there to be criticized. Hopefully hilariously (you have succeeded here, sir).

11. At the bottom of the page on each of the bride’s recap done
    by this reporter, there is a correction notice and apology of “we regret the error” referring to the underdone chicken
    attributed to the wrong wedding. Wouldn’t life be wonderful if we could all go back and undo what we said or did, just by that one phrase. In publishing…. those few words provide a clean slate for poor reporting and editing. IF ONLY WE COULD REVEAL THAT PERSON AND SHOWCASE WHAT AN INEPT REPORTER HE IS TO HAVE PUBLISHED INCORRECT INFORMATION, WHEN HIS/HER JOB IS TO PROVIDE CORRECT INFORMATION. YOU ARE A JOKE, AND THIS JOB SHOULD BE GIVEN TO SOMEONE WHO AT LEAST CAN KEEP THE INFORMATION SEQUENTIAL. HAHA ON YOU!
    w

12. I totally disagree with the outcome of this episode, and the fact that they allowed a professional wedding planner aka. computer analyst to compete as contestant on this show. It is no different than allowing a celebrity professional dancer to compete on dancing with the stars.

    I couldn’t help but notice that the narrator criticized every word that Rafela uttered. Your article states that she was insensitive to other cultures, perhaps the comments directed to the Catholic Church, a place of worship, were disregarded. Instead of paying attention to the vows, and being respectful they were too busy complaining about the noise that the children were making.

    And to the columnist, your comments are rude and insensitive. Do you know these contestants personally to write such cruel remarks? I get the fact this is a competition, but the way that the brides were portrayed makes my decision very easy to not watch this program again!!

13. Are these comments for fucking real? You people are so sad.

14. Columnist get your facts straight….Thanks to Rafela this episode of four weddings was entertaining to watch. Finally a contestant with a sense of humor.

    I have to agree with comment above, every statement Rafela said was scrutinized by the narrator with some sarcastic comeback. She doesn’t deserve to be cut up in this manner, because anyone who has 70 grand to spend on a wedding can surely afford a honeymoon. This is eye opener for future brides who are contemplating participating in future episodes of this show. You can be cut to shreds, and portrayed as someone you are not. Rafela, you had my vote, and were the winner in my eyes!! All The Best!!!

15. Excellent work!

    This is one of the funniest articles and comment threads I’ve ever read. Dear “anonymous” friends of Rufaela / Rafaela / whatever, I don’t care: why are you complaining now when you had the opportunity to advise her against going on the show in the first place?? If you cared so much about her precious feelings you should probably have mentioned to her beforehand that by going on a reality tv show she would open herself up to all manner of amusing criticism. Oh, and get OVER the inaccuracies. It’s not like this is delicate political reporting. It’s supposed to be a funny article, which it is.

    Thanks, however, for the entertainment value, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading how outraged you are.

    Dear Toronto Life: Keep it up! This has reminded me to renew my subscription.

16. Wow, if this all it takes to entertain you,than better keep up your subscription..

17. It’s a stupid show and if you go on it you open yourself up to criticism. Get over it!

18. The ratings from the brides are so fake.
    If Rafela’s wedding had been first she would have scored a lot higher. But I think the other brides were worried when
    they attended Rafela’s wedding. They knew they had to low ball her in order to make their respective weddings look better. Huria didn’t like the samba dancers saying “If you want to see these kind of dancers go to a show. Well if you want to see the dancers like she had at her wedding, go to Caravan or some other cultural event.
    The wedding planner said “Rafela’s venue like a typical banquet hall.” What the hell did hers look like?
    The food at Rafela’s wedding was top notch, I know I was there and thoroughly enjoyed the food. To all of the brides, I wish you a long and happy marriage!

19. I think it’s fair to say that the producers of this show ask the contestants to make the most outrageous comments they can for the entertainment factor, so I really don’t see what everyone is getting riled up about. It’s a TV show, nothing to actually be affected by.

    The only thing that stood out about this episode in particular was the blatant ignorance to cultural differences and the rude comments the brides made towards Huria’s ceremony. To Anonymous JB, not sure what “Caravan” is, but it doesn’t sound like anything Muslim, Afghan or Arab, so try not to add to the ignorance.

20. Oh and to the author of this article and the writers of the narration of 4 Weddings Canada, the adjective is Afghan, not Afghani. Afghani is the currency. Don’t embarrass yourselves. Dewcies.

21. This article is too jokes! I love how all of Rafulas friends are teaming up and actually spending time writing about how she was poorly treated. SHE WENT ON THE SHOW, SHE SHOULD EXPECT TO GET BASHED! The girl who won, probably deserved it, but it is a little unfair…Its like Whitney Houston joining American Idol…Is that fair to people like the chinese guy singing “she bangs, she bangs”. Huria was jokes and I thought she deserved to win. She was roasting everyone hard! hahaha! #loveit. Anyways, Rafulas friends (and yes I am misspelling it on purpose) y’all need to CHEEEELLLLLLL!!!

22. If you get married on reality tv then you should know your gonna get made fun of, seriously people!

23. Edit, edit, edit… that’s all you have to keep in mind when watching a show like this. The director/producer will portray you as they see fit in order to stir the pot and get people talking about the show. I have met all four women and their husbands and none were ignorant, insensitive or as ‘sweet’ as portrayed on the show.

    Each wedding, like each bride had its pros and cons but unfortunately the positive stuff usually gets left on the editing floor for some weddings in order to create drama or skew the results. But the truth can be seen to the keen observer. Having been involved with this ‘Four Weddings’ episode which was actually the first one filmed this season, I can say truthfully that out of the four weddings it really only came down to two in this episode… Jessica and Rafela.
    These two ladies truly made their weddings spectacular events so much so that this episode could have only featured their weddings but the show isn’t called ‘Two Weddings Canada’. Jessica’s wedding was beautiful and all those little details were seen throughout as one should hope to see considering she is a wedding planner. But that’s not to say her wedding was as perfect as it seemed on TV. Yes it was disgustingly hot and very uncomfortable, the three plus hours in between ceremonies was an issue with guests (edited out) and the limited amounts of hors d’oeuvres are just a few of the issues guests had. Overall it was a wonderful wedding and fun was had by many.
    Rafela’s wedding was equally as spectacular as Jessica’s but once again A LOT was edited out/edited and down played for TV. Yes there were distractions at the church with children and the three hours in between ceremony and reception. But once you walked into the hall you were blown away by Rafela’s décor vision, I felt even more so then Jessica’s (sorry Jess). It felt like old Hollywood, but done right with the draping, the glitz and lighting also adding modern touches like lounge seating area with bottle service and a character artist (who only one of the three brides sat down for, shame) and her midnight seafood buffet (her husband is actually Portuguese). The food was spectacular; the tribute to Rafela’s father was also a sweet touch that left many smiling and misty eyed, all this and a packed dance floor all night long. Unfortunately these are all the things edited out of her segment but shown in highlight and the commercials.
    Seriously though at the end of the day the show is suppose to entertain people, its empty mind calories and designed to get a reaction which it has.

24. I dont even read the articles anymore I just sit here and wait to see how many pathetic anon’s there are. Grow some balls, if your going to voice your opinion do it with pride and dont hide. This article is no different then the gossip crap they have all over hollywood. Canadians just like to come across as the better people and god for bid we be mean or voice our opinions as everyone is entitled too. If everyone agreed and everyone was nice this place would be BORING. Get over yourselves, Im sure your no better then any of us brides who had to do what they did. We all do what all these brides did in one way shape or form. Even if its just in our heads we do it when we are out in public an see something we dont like or at work, or school or anywhere for that matter. I cant wait for my episode cause I purposesly was a bitch cause thats what they wanted. Bring it on. They arent going to say anything I havent already heard

    Halloween Bride
    Holly

25. To LayLow,

    Caravan was a cultural festival held in Toronto for more than 30 years. Attendees could go to various events across the city to learn more about other cultures (food, dance, music, etc.). No doubt Muslim, Afghan, and Arab events were held. Next time, don’t be so quick to judge someone’s ignorance.

    See here for more info: http://www.thestar.com/printarticle/613663

26. Thank you to the Star for coming to my rescue.
    I remember Caravan, that being said many cities in Canada
    have such cultural events to celebrate all cultures.
    So who’s ignorant now?

27. As a certified Wedding Planner, we take oaths that we will not profit or engage in any activity such as contests where prizes are awarded.

    The individual that won was unethical, sneaky and entered a contest under false pretenses!

28. I agree with CW about the wedding planner oath….
    Jessica appears not to have morals, as well as the show,
    since she definitely had an advantage. Possibly her motive
    in addition to “the honeymoon” was to be enriched with future business contacts. Kudos to the other brides who did a great job with their own talents!

29. The brides can low ball the scores all they want. That is not how the scoring works. Did you not hear the disclamimer on the show ‘four brides’. Lowballing each other does not effect the outcome of the winner.

30. I agree with Samantha, I do not think kids should be at a wedding. They become bored too easy, there is usually nothing for them to do.

31. I’m not sure what you are talking about rogerrabbit but Four Weddings Canada does not have the same scoring system as the show in the states. It does not state anything about lowballing not effecting the outcome. They do not rank the weddings like the US version so I have no idea what youb are talking about. Get your facts straight before you comment.

32. thank you for putting me in my place, I thought it would be more fair like the way they do it in america, so I guess you told me. No need to be snarky and rude though, it was an honest mistake.

33. Great Article! Anyone that gets married on reality tv deserves to be ripped on! Keep it up!

    January 19, 2012 at 4:58 pm | by Cool
    -I think likely the author of this ridiculous low blow article wrote this? whoever the smug and not so intelligent author of this weekly article is, should consider finding a new job and to stop selling their soul to the media which exploites innocent naive people. consider that many of the brides on this show enter with good intentions, unaware of how manipulative those who direct, produce, and edit the show are going to be towards them. Pushing them to be rude and editing out their positive comments. I hope none of the brides take the show or ridiclous artivles like this seriously. Toronto Life, a reputable magazine in the GTA should be ashamed of this trashy online content.

34. but hey your just doing your job right? you make me sick

35. Firstly I watched the episodes and I am very sure that the comments were edited to create characters that perhaps did not emerge. Jessice was obviously meant to be the sweet one to justify her winning, the only reason she had a lot more goin on is because she had two weddings. Trust be told weddings are meant to be intimate so that the attendees can truly be active participants.

    I think its grossly unfair to name one bride HBIC seriously i disagree but it makes for good entertainment, i think each weddign had something special and truly would not have liked my big dead being scrutinzed.

    I disagree, but thats my point of view.

36. Uh uh where to start!/let me begin by saying hamoods wedding was deadly/it started at like 7pm bald eagle and I rolled through in the Bentley//afghan warrior dances 1, 2, 3//these other brides spent like 70 gs/the buffet was pretty good but I only liked the chicken/Samantha said there was a fly in her chicken/fall back Sam the bug was from your purse/uh these freestyles I spit are a gift and curse/Hamid did u even give Hamood a gift… bro ur the worst/me and Mousa saggy were sitting front row at wedding/Senan was next to me 365 betting/stone cold bitch daymeeeeee that was disrespect/like Hamid leaving that pomegranate at the door step/4 weddings this show was pretty good/whoever wrote this article don’t ever come to my hood/CPX veteran u already know who’s wedding hamoods was betta then/Abu Ali ahaaaaaaa.

37. Great article. Congrats to Huria for winning the award. I think it was well-deserved and it should be an honor to be named H.B.I.C. She obviously had a well planned strategy but fell short. If it wasn’t for her groom who looked like a snake, she would’ve won the trip.

    And to Biggz aka COMPLEX Veteran, dayyyyme homie you got rhymes. If you’re not signed yet, whats Jay Z waitin’ for?

    By the way, can you hook me up your bald friend with a Bentley?

38. Huria should of won. Are you friggen kidding me? That Jessica girl should be disqualified for being a wedding planner. I mean come on thats so not fair. How did they let her on the show? Do you think Mariah Carey would be allowed to enter American Idol? DUH, I dont think so.

    I’m boycotting this stupid show.

39. I am Huria and I do not endorse the above 3 comments!

40. I love how you people say edit edit edit….when they are sitting there infront of the white screen they are asked a number a questions….ones they give a simple answer too and if you mess up that answer they ask you to repeat it….they dont edit the snob in someones voice nor do edit the rolling of the eyes. Its not what you say ppl its how you say it…Body Language speaks way louder then words..you get what you see…this is how the people really are…i will prove it on my episode when I see everything I said how I said it…my god you went on the show SUCK IT UP PRINCESS deal with the reviews…dont like it dont read it…this just gives us entertainment till the next poor bride comes across the wrong way

41. laylow, if you do a little more in depth reading and investigating, you will see that you are partly right and partly wrong

42. did someone just rap a response? sad sad sad…

43. I find it amazing that after each episode recap, there continues to be a flurry of posts from either one of the brides, or friends/supporters of one or more of the brides complaining about how they were portrayed on the show, or in the recap.

    You (or your friend) VOLUNTARILY went on a reality show who’s primary purpose is to encourage brides to “rate” the weddings of other brides whom they don’t really know in a competitive setting, for valuable prize at the end. Um, you don’t think they may try to portrary one or more of these brides as snooty or bitchy? Seriously? You can’t possibly be that naive about how reality television works. Its not a documentary – its a TV show! They’ll edit the footage in whatever way is necessary to tell the “story” the producers are looking for. You sign up for a show like that, you have to accept how you (or your friend) is portrayed.

    Whining on the comments section of Toronto Life really won’t accomplish much. There’s no “injustice” here – they knew what they were signing up for – Reality TV is not exactly a new concept – even this show isn’t original, as its modeled on a US show. No way the brides didn’t know what they were getting into.

    That said, the righteous indignation of some of these commenters is at least as funny as the recaps.

44. Pack it up, pack it in, let me begin / She came to win / battling her was a sin / She wont tap a sacka, punk you better back up / Try to hate on the wedding and the whole crew will act up / get up, stand up, come on throw your pants up/ if you hating on the weddin, then you just trippin/im the cream of the crop / I rise to the top / never eat a pig cause a pig is haram!/

45. I watched the US version of this show before the Canadian version was launched. If you go on a reality show, prepare to be cut up…that’s what is included in your contract.It’s a stupid show, in my opinion just like many others.

46. i actually seen this show… and i must have rolled my eyes at least 10 times. For a person that has been married 33 1/2 years, and is STILL married to that individual, without the frills of a huge wedding, I wonder, what these couples will have left to do once the hooplah has settled down. I’ve heard of these big weddings, and how the couples split as they have nothing left in common. Truly I am amazed at what people will do for one night and then wonder why they have no money to buy a house.

    My daughter got married on a Boat on Lake Ontario, both the Ceremony and the reception was on the Jubilee Queen. It was incredible. She lucked out with the weather though as the lake was like a glass! No frills wedding, for 105 people, and it’s still being talked about today.

    But at least when Im bored I know what to look for, for an hours entertainment. lol..

47. Samantha wedding was such a crap shame on you to air that thing that ypu call WEDDING

48. Hilda you’re cluess. Just because someone has a big, fancy wedding doesn’t mean the couples have nothing in common and will split after. Both Huria and Jessica knew their husbands for years before they were married. Pretty sure they’re not going to split just b/c the “hooplah has settled down”. lol Your comments are ignorant, just like most of the other comments here.
    Also…no one really knows whos wedding was better except for the brides. Just because you attended one of these four weddings doesn’t mean you can say that one was the best. YOU WEREN’T AT THE OTHER WEDDINGS. Once again…ignorant comments.

49. I would really like to know where the Lady found that beautiful Black and White Dress If anyone could let me know I would greatly appreciate it

    Thank you

50. Ivadell – Are you serious!! Stop smoking crack, that dress was awful! If your serious about finding, you need a time machine!

51. Oh lighten up, Haters! It is a show am loving and negative comments are to be expected cause they are judging each other’s weddings! It is television and i really that the p.c pandemic does not affect it cause that would not be good. That being said I was very glad that Huria did not win and i liked the winner tremendously!

52. Lighten up, Haters! Honestly if you cannot handle the reality of pple saying how they really feel then you have no business watching Reality TV! That being said, I love the Show and hope it will around for quite sometime! Glad Huria didn’t win though! :)

53. Inchab Yee There was no need to be rude. I was just asking just because you have no taste some people like that sort of dress. I happen to think that is is a beautiful dress.

54. Basically, you are an idiot. and if this is what you’re doing for a living then you need to get a reality check.
    And Huria was not only the prettiest bride, but also the most real and and funny. All the girls did a wonderful job, and you can continue on with your amusement behind a computer screen, but unfortunately your arrogant comments wont get you anywhere.

    good try though!

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