Jose Canseco for Toronto mayor? The pros and cons of the ex-slugger running city hall
Toronto city politics hit a new level of crazy at just after one o’clock this morning, when legendary home run hitter and admitted steroid user Jose Canseco outlined his platform to replace Rob Ford as mayor, a feat that would fulfill item six in Canseco’s amazing list of New Year’s resolutions. The erstwhile Blue Jay mused in a semi-intelligible tweet that “Ford too much trouble to be effective gotta fix budget, traffic, get new $ not from taxes, get more new businesses, and help schools.” Alas, the world will never get to see what Toronto would look like under Canseco’s rule—since he’s not a Canadian citizen, he’s not eligible to run. Still, that didn’t stop us from imagining the benefits and drawbacks of his never-to-be mayoralty.
Mayor Canseco: The Pros
Mayor Canseco: The Cons
• Pro: With an ex-athlete in charge, there would be no more embarrassing “Cut The Waist” challenges.
• Pro: His efforts to launch an anti-aging drink called Ponce De Canseco shows he has an entrepreneurial streak—an important attribute for the leader of Canada’s business capital.
• Con: His anti-aging elixir actually works, he drinks it and then proclaims himself Mayor For Life.
• Pro: In a pinch, the six-time all-star, two-time World Series champ and former American League MVP could conceivably suit up in right field for the hometown squad. At age 48, he’s still something of a specimen.
• Pro: Athletes understand the importance of a team, which means Canseco might be more amenable than the current not-Mayor to working with his colleagues on council.
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Con: Awkward
Bash Brothers-style elbow bumps with confused councillors after passing key votes (though we’re tickled at the prospect of Canseco attempting to exchange all manner of bro-y formalities with the decidedly unbro-y Adam Vaughan).
• Pro: If council still proves recalcitrant, his hard-line stance against “haters” and “clowns” means he knows how to fight back.
• Pro: If he ever gets sick, Canseco can send his twin brother Ozzie in as pinch-mayor. (They’ve done sneaky switcheroos before, after all.)
• Con: We don’t think Toronto can take another stretch of having two impossible-to-distinguish brothers as co-mayors.
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(Images: left, Chris Polk/FilmMagic/Getty; right, Getty Images Sports)
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• Pro: If council still proves recalcitrant, his hard-line stance against “haters” and “clowns” means he knows how to fight back.
• Con: Some times he fights back with way too much vigor.
• Pro: If he ever gets sick, Canseco can send his twin brother Ozzie in as pinch-mayor. (They’ve done sneaky switcheroos before, after all.)
• Con: We don’t think Toronto can take another stretch of having two impossible-to-distinguish brothers as co-mayors.
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(Images: left, Chris Polk/FilmMagic/Getty; right, Getty Images Sports)){kind=link}
