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City News

John Tory unironically tells mayoral candidates to be bold

By John Michael McGrath
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Wizard of blahs: John Tory addresses the backs of the heads of the major mayoral candidates (Image: John Michael McGrath)
Wizard of blahs: John Tory addresses the backs of the heads of the major mayoral candidates (Image: John Michael McGrath)

Probably the most surreal aspect of last night’s mayoral debate on seniors’ issues was that the candidates’ images were projected above them as they spoke. It only got weirder through the night; the bizarreness peaked when a final giant head flicked onto the screen—and it was none other than John Tory. Tory, apparently recovering nicely from his irony-ectomy, exhorted the candidates to move boldly. “Which one of you will step up?” he asked the five front-runners. We spent months wondering the same thing, John. Now that he’s done playing Hamlet, we suppose showing up and crapping on the party makes him Banquo’s ghost. From surreal, things got hilarious as Tory’s apparition was greeted with mocking laughter by an audience of 300 or so.

How the mighty have fallen. Less than a week after he announced that he would really, really not be the city’s white knight (for real this time!), a crowd of aging urbanites isn’t angry or sad about John Tory—they’re getting a laugh out of him.

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