Dear Urban Diplomat: My US-based sister is using Elbows Up as an excuse to avoid visiting

Dear Urban Diplomat, My sister moved to Queens years ago after meeting a guy. They used to visit all the time, and their kids love Toronto, but when I invited them to my upcoming wedding, they declined. They said they’re worried about getting hassled for having New York licence plates. I think she’s using the recent rise in anti-American sentiment as a pretence because she doesn’t approve of my fiancé. How should I broach this with her? —Border Dispute, Morningside Heights

Your sister’s logic doesn’t pass the smell test. A born Canuck would know that we’re unlikely to hassle Americans who are spending time and money here, no matter how much some of us may despise their leadership. You need to have a frank discussion with her, but don’t accuse her of making excuses. Instead, tell her how much it would mean to you to have her at the wedding, remind her of her favourite haunts and exploit her kids’ love of the city.

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