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Dear Urban Diplomat: My straight friend is having her bachelorette party in the Village

It promises to be a painfully heterosexual event, and I hate that queer spaces are becoming venues for straight people to gawk while they party. Should I refuse to attend?

By Urban Diplomat| Illustration by Salini Perera
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Dear Urban Diplomat: My straight friend is having her bachelorette party in the Village

Dear Urban Diplomat, My straight friend is insisting on hosting her bachelorette party in the Village, and I’m not feeling it. I’m thrilled that she wants to include me, but I’m gay, and I’ve watched for years as the neighbourhood has turned into a place where straight people go to gawk at my community while they party. I confronted her about it, and she said I was being too sensitive but that I could sit this one out if it made me uncomfortable. Should I plant my flag and boycott her event or go along to get along?  —Down and Out, East Bayfront

Boycotting serves two ends: your absence will make a subtle statement, and you’ll escape the torture of watching your friends treat your community like a spectator sport. But you’ll also miss out on the fun. If you think there’s any chance you might enjoy this event, a third option is to claim your turf. That way, you can rein your friends in should their gawking cross any boundaries.

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