Masterchef Canada Recap, episode 5: “Oh God. Medic! Big medic!”

With almost a quarter of the contestants gone, things are getting intense on Masterchef Canada. Not only has the kitchen become a virtual minefield of cut-eye and snide cracks, but actual blood has been drawn (and gorily spattered). Here, three takeaways from episode five:

Lesson #1: Blood > Burgers
The commercial previews told us that Eric was going to disfigure himself during this episode, but they didn’t tell us when. Just the thought of impending bloodshed made the mystery-box challenge so deliciously tense that we barely had time to appreciate the rest: the fact that Dale invented something called a “pork pouch,” for instance, or that apparently there’s been a guy named Mike on this show the entire time. Whether due to Canadian politesse or shoddy camerawork, the actual moment-of-laceration occurred off-air, but Eric’s panicky cries were satisfactorily dramatic (“Oh God. Medic! Big medic!”). It was almost enough to make us feel real sympathy for the guy.

Lesson #2: Don’t mess with the underdog
That is, until Eric went and acted like an ass. What do all the guys on this show know about Kaila that we don’t? They seem pretty confident writing her off as a zero-threat hack, despite the fact that she keeps winning everything. Eric rejoined the kitchen just in time to unleash his mangled-hand sulks on the group’s go-to punching bag (by suggesting that everyone else must have sliced their hands, too, in order for Kaila’s burger to have come in first). In a rare case of reality retribution, the bitchy quip earned him a harrowing bout of forced baking and a close brush with elimination. Ha!

Lesson #3: If it’s broke, fix it
If your Portuguese medleys keep grossing out the judges, stop making them. Danny failed to heed this lesson and paid the ultimate price: elimination. Similarly, if your Gordon Ramsay rip-off persona is making everyone loathe you, adopt a totally different one with zero warning or explanation. Based on all the weird giggling fits, that’s what Alvin Leung seems to have done. Either that, or someone’s been slipping him uppers.

Images courtesy of Bell Media