Real Weddings: Christianah and Temi

Christianah Okunade, a real estate agent, first met Temi Ogbonnewo, a software engineer, through mutual friends in 2013, when they were both at university in Ottawa. They started dating soon afterward and went long-distance after Temi moved to Toronto for work. In 2020, just before the pandemic, Christianah relocated to Toronto, and the couple got engaged in 2022. Their three-part wedding took place in 2023: a small civil ceremony at Toronto City Hall, a 1,000-person Nigerian wedding in Lagos and a destination ceremony in Lake Como, Italy. Here’s how it all came together. 

Christianah: In 2012, I moved from Nigeria to do Grade 12 at Ridley College, in St. Catharines. I had some friends from Nigeria attending Columbia International College, in Hamilton, where Temi was studying. We started following each other on Twitter before we met in person.

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Temi: My older brother had attended Ridley College a few years before I came to Canada. I tweeted something about it, and Christianah DM’d me afterward.

Christianah: There weren’t a lot of Nigerian kids at my school. It was nice to hear that he was from Nigeria and had heard of Ridley.

Temi: I was just excited that a cute girl was messaging me. So we kept chatting. It was a lot of banter about school and the assignments we had, or I’d tease her about the photos she was posting.

Christianah: Temi and I both ended up moving to Ottawa after high school. I went to Carleton, and he was at the University of Ottawa. Early in the school year, there was a gathering at a mutual friend’s house. That’s when we first met in person.

Temi: There were about 10 of us. We acknowledged each other when we first arrived, but there were a lot of other people around. We didn’t actually get to talk much. After that, Christianah and I kept running into each other because of friends we had in common. I would also go over to her school to play soccer. Eventually, we started having more one-on-one conversations about how our days were going and what we were up to at school.

Christianah: By 2014, we would frequently call and text each other, and in early 2015, I realized I had feelings for Temi. Honestly, it made me a bit uncomfortable for some reason. I started withdrawing a little bit.

Temi: I noticed she was avoiding me. So, the next time I saw her, we talked it out. We both expressed our feelings and realized they were mutual. That conversation ended in our first kiss. We had our first date a few days later, on Valentine’s Day, at an Italian restaurant in Ottawa.

Christianah: From there, Temi and I started spending a lot of time together. We’d hang out at his place or study in the library.

Temi: After I graduated, in 2018, I moved to Toronto for work. Christianah stayed in Ottawa, so we did long-distance for a few years. We visited each other on the weekends, taking turns going to Ottawa and Toronto. Sometimes we’d go for brunch or to attractions like the Toronto Islands, but mostly we just caught up and enjoyed being in each other’s presence.

Christianah: It felt easy doing long-distance with Temi. I trusted him so much and was sure about spending my life with him.

Temi: Even though we had no concrete plans, I knew that eventually we’d be back in the same city. Meanwhile, we took holidays together when we could. In October of 2019, we travelled to Italy and fell in love with the country.

Christianah: After I returned home from that trip, I decided to go into real estate. I took my exams and got my licence in early 2020, right before Covid. That’s when I moved to Toronto.

Temi: I was so excited. At the time, I was living in an apartment in North York.

Christianah: I decided to get my own place near Yonge and Dundas. It was partly for religious reasons, but I also wanted to experience living alone. I knew that Temi and I would get married eventually and live together.

Temi: We both knew that was what we were working toward. I decided to propose in 2022. It felt like the right time: we were both living in the same city and were established in our careers. I didn’t want to waste any more time—but I did need a ring.

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Christianah: In early 2022, Temi started showing me Instagram videos of ring designs and styles. Then, in the summer, we went ring shopping. I told Temi I liked an oval-shaped diamond on a yellow gold band, and he designed it with the jeweller.

Temi: In the fall of 2022, I went on a six-week solo trip to Mexico, Colombia and Brazil. I’d planned to get the ring before then, but there were delays, so I left without it. After a couple of weeks, Christianah and I were missing each other a lot. So I suggested that she meet me at my next stop, which was Colombia. I wanted to propose to Christianah during the trip—but the ring was still with the jeweller.

Christianah: It was super last-minute. I organized everything—the tickets, my travel visa—in four days. Then one of Temi’s friends asked me to bring a package for a friend he had in Colombia.

Temi: I’d asked him to help me out with transporting the ring. He picked it up and hid it in a box, then gave it to Christianah to bring without revealing what it was.

Christianah: The box itself said it was a package of resistance bands. I was so close to opening it because I felt unsure about travelling with it without knowing what was inside. But he said, “Please don’t open it.” He’s a good friend, and I’ve known him for a long time, so I trusted him.

Temi: Christianah met me in Cartagena. I told her we had a group boat tour booked, but it was really a violinist, a photographer and an event planner I’d hired for the proposal, plus the boat driver. Christianah just thought they were other guests. Once we got on the boat, I told Christianah that we should get a photo together. I handed my phone to the planner and got down on one knee, then the violinist started playing Christianah’s favourite song: “Perfect Duet” by Beyoncé and Ed Sheeran.

Christianah: I started crying immediately. I couldn’t even speak. I just felt so happy. I can’t remember what Temi said, but obviously I said yes. We took some photos, then we docked at a beach house that was decorated with candles and flower petals. There was a private chef there waiting to serve us a three-course seafood dinner.

Temi: We didn’t start planning our wedding until a few months later, in January of 2023. We knew we’d be having a big Nigerian ceremony back in our hometown, Lagos, that our parents would organize. For our traditional ceremony with close family and friends, we wanted to do a destination wedding with about a hundred guests.

Christianah: We considered Portugal and Greece at first, but I had my heart set on getting married in Italy. We wanted a spot with lots of greenery that was close to the water. That’s how we ended up booking a venue on Lake Como called Villa Lario. We hadn’t been there before, but it was perfect for what we wanted. We had exclusive use of a modern boutique villa with a garden overlooking the lake, a private dock, a lakeside terrace and an indoor dining room. There are nine rooms at the villa, and we booked seven of them to accommodate 15 of our guests. Our other guests would stay at hotels and Airbnbs nearby. Most planned to hang out for a couple of days after the wedding.

Temi: Since we were doing a destination wedding, we had a civil ceremony at Toronto City Hall in August of 2023, followed by a lunch with about ten friends. We had our Nigerian wedding in late September.

Christianah: That wedding was huge, with about 1,000 people. Our parents took care of most of the planning and decisions.

Temi: We did some traditional things on the day of the Nigerian wedding, like the unveiling of the bride, which is to confirm her identity and welcome her to the family. I asked Christianah’s parents for permission to marry her, then our parents greeted each other and our families. There was a lot of dancing, partying and eating.

Christianah: The day after our Nigerian wedding, we flew from Lagos to London to pick up my wedding dress. I had gone to a few bridal stores in Toronto, but I couldn’t find anything I loved. Then I came across a designer online, Alonuko, who is a British-born Nigerian based in London. I loved her work, so we did a Zoom consultation and she sketched out a dress for me: a ball gown with illusion tulle mesh and beading at the top. It was beautiful.

Temi: I went with a local tailor in Toronto, Fari Hara. I chose a white double-breasted suit with a black knit bow tie. Then we flew from London to Italy. First we spent a few days in Rome to relax before heading to Lake Como.

Christianah: Our plan was to have three events at Lake Como—a boat party, a welcome lunch and then the wedding itself. The boat party was a lot of fun. Our friends wanted to keep partying after it was over, but Temi and I were exhausted, so we went back to our hotel to rest.

Temi: The welcome lunch was stressful because our photographer, videographer, MC, makeup artists and hairstylist were flying in from London and Nigeria, and their flights were delayed. The lunch ended up being at 6 p.m., and we had to move it indoors because of the weather.

Christianah: The next day was the wedding day. Temi and I both slept over at the villa, in different suites. I didn’t feel nervous at all. It was more excitement. Our wedding ceremony was going to be outside, in a private garden overlooking Lake Como.

Temi: I was more in my head about the logistics of the day. I’m a super punctual guy, and things were running an hour late. Once I got to the altar, though, I didn’t feel nervous. When I saw Christianah walking down the aisle, I thought she looked so beautiful.

Christianah: When I was walking down the aisle, all I thought was, Yay! I’m going to meet my husband. I felt very happy and calm.

Temi: Standing at the altar across from Christianah, I felt a sense of peace after all the planning and travelling. I thought, We’re actually doing this. Also, with the backdrop of Lake Como, it was such a beautiful place to be with my best friend, emotionally and physically.

Christianah: After the ceremony, Temi and I did an hour-long boat ride to take some photos while our guests had aperitifs. Then we had our dinner reception inside the villa. We had it decorated with candles and white flowers: baby’s breath and roses.

Temi: Dinner was a four-course Italian meal with a burrata salad, ravioli, a choice of beef tenderloin or sea bass, and dessert.

Christianah: We brought an MC from Nigeria who was really fun and engaging. He ran some dancing competitions and games, including one to see which table knew the most about us.

Temi: The dance party afterward was the highlight of the day for me. It was a really good time. The open bar was a bit too open, though, if you ask me. It was just so much alcohol and drinking and shots. The DJ was really good—he was playing mostly Afrobeats.

Christianah: 1 a.m. was my cut-off. I said bye to everyone, then left Temi and went upstairs to bed.

Temi: Christianah was done for the night, but I was still up, hanging out with friends who were staying at the venue or nearby. I was going from room to room for about an hour. Finally, I went to bed at 2 a.m.

Christianah: The morning after the wedding, I couldn’t even really process how I felt. I was overwhelmed with emotions—and a bit hungover. But I was happy and grateful. I’d just married my dream guy in a dream location. My phone was blowing up with messages from my friends telling me how much fun they had. But I didn’t see anyone other than Temi that day—not even my parents.

Temi: It was a big relief when the wedding was over and everything had gone well.

Christianah: Temi and I stayed at the venue for three more days, just to relax. Then we rented a car and drove to Tuscany to stay there for four nights.

Temi: The plan was to wind down in Tuscany. It wasn’t necessarily a honeymoon—we just wanted to be somewhere remote. It was so scenic and quiet. We were surrounded by vineyards. We’ll do a proper honeymoon sometime this year. We’re thinking Bora Bora or Thailand.

Christianah: After we returned to Toronto, I moved into Temi’s condo. We’re now living in Fort York. But we’re planning to move again soon.

Temi: We’re not sure where we’re moving yet, but we want more space. And I know we’ll be in good hands since Christianah is a real estate agent. Every time we talk about wanting more space, peoples’ eyes light up because they think we’re starting a family. We do want kids in the future—but not yet.

Christianah: Living with Temi has been fun. It’s like coming home to your best friend every day. After a hectic day, I can’t wait to get back and see him. We also talk to each other’s parents more, which I like. It feels good checking in on them. It’s like we each have a new set of parents in our lives.

Temi: Being married feels so relaxed. Nothing has really changed in our day-to-day. But I want to live up to my new title as Christianah’s husband and be there for her always.

Cheat Sheet

Date: October 16, 2023 Venue: Villa Lario Resort Photography: Timi Oshin Videography: Kayode Fabunmi DJ: Sample Chief MC: Dayo Ice Bride’s hair: DL Bridal Bride’s makeup: Zakiyah Shani Bride’s main dress: Alonuko Bride’s after-party dress: Ateni Groom’s main outfit: Fari Hara