QUOTED: Apparently, there are secret bordellos in pretty much all of the city’s condo buildings

There have been brothels in practically every condo and apartment building in Toronto. People have no idea they exist, we are so discreet.

—Valerie Scott of Sex Professionals of Canada, a 53-year-old former prostitute, explaining to the Toronto Star that, really, local residents shouldn’t be worried about brothels springing up all over the city now that houses of bawdy are set to be legal. (No need to fret about mega-brothels with people fornicating on the lawn either, she says.) Why? Because brothels are already everywhere! And, as far as we know, lawn sex is totally minimal. [Toronto Star]