Real Weddings: Rebecca and Pat

Rebecca Ramsdale, a 32-year-old nail technician, met Pat O’Rourke, a 36-year-old freelance photographer, videographer and clothing designer, through mutual friends at the beginning of 2013. A year later, they moved in together, and they spent almost a decade of their relationship travelling and starting their respective businesses. After nine years of dating, O’Rourke proposed to Ramsdale in her nail studio during a night of renovations, which he shared in a now-viral TikTok. The couple wed in a casual ceremony at Hotel Ocho this past October. Here’s how their celebration came together.

Rebecca: We met 12 years ago. One of my best friends at the time started dating one of Pat’s, so we all started hanging out as a group. We would chill at local bars and go bowling regularly. From the beginning, I was excited to be around Pat. He was funny, and we had a good time together.

Pat: Being around Rebecca felt comfortable and exciting. I had just moved downtown, and I was living on friends’ couches. My life consisted of working retail part time, skateboarding full time and hanging out with Rebecca. After about a month of hanging out in groups, I asked her out on a solo date for Valentine’s Day.

Rebecca: We went to Mt. Everest on Bloor for dinner. It felt less nerve-racking than a typical first date because we already knew each other. Afterward, we went to the Green Room to meet our friends. We made it official about a month later. He asked me on Facebook Messenger, which was very sweet.

Pat: We would always try to line up our schedules to see each other. At the start of our relationship, we mainly hung out on weekends, and then after a few months we started to see each other every day.

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Rebecca: When we started dating, I was living in Mississauga with my mom and going to Humber College. When Pat slept over during the week, he would come with me when I drove to school and figure out the bus route to get back downtown. Early on, Pat knew I wanted to move to Toronto—I’d always felt too weird and quirky for Mississauga.

Pat: We moved into an apartment in Roncesvalles in June of 2014, where we lived until just a month ago. So many major moments happened there—it’s where we started our businesses and got a dog. By the end, we had outgrown the space, but it was bittersweet to leave.

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Rebecca: In the first year of living together, we discussed wanting to get married, but we didn’t have a strict timeline for when.

Pat: Rebecca’s mom always said we should travel and enjoy our lives. Pre-pandemic, we prioritized saving up our money and travelling once or twice a year, to New York, Paris, London, San Francisco and Tofino. Our last trip before the pandemic was Miami in November of 2019.

Rebecca: No one was pushing us to get married, but it was always a conversation. Every once in a while, Pat would check in to see if we were still on the same page about waiting. I always said yes. A year would go by, then two, then three, then four.

Pat: About three years ago, Rebecca said she was okay with waiting but didn’t want to be too old when we got married. It was a relaxed conversation, and there wasn’t a lot of pressure. We’ve always felt safe in our relationship.

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Rebecca: It was during the pandemic, and since nobody could travel, getting married seemed like the next big thing to start focusing on. We built up to the idea gradually, just casually mentioning rings we liked.

Pat: We went to a few jewellery stores to try on different shapes and styles in person. Online, we found a designer in Montreal, Alexandre Bergeron, who does unique custom-made jewellery. There was one ring we saw in his Instagram stories that really stood out to us, and we screenshotted it—a white-gold band with a large pink stone.

Rebecca: We’d talk about rings every few months, not even in the sense of engagement, just as part of general chats about jewellery. I was thinking about Alexandre’s ring often, and I kept bringing it up. I probably mentioned it two more times in six months.

Pat: In the summer of 2022, I reached out to Alexandre to make an engagement ring, and it was ready in October. Initially, I wanted to propose at Rebecca’s mom’s cottage in Crystal Beach around my birthday, in early November, but I got sick for two weeks, and we had to cancel our visit. Once I was feeling better, we went to the Federal for lunch. On the walk home, I suggested we go through the Sorauren dog park, but I could see in her eyes that Rebecca was confused. I started overthinking and didn’t propose.

Rebecca: It was snowing and cold, so it seemed like a random idea. Still, I love walking by the dog park, so I agreed. With the snow, it felt magical. For the first time, I wondered if Pat was going to propose.

Pat: A week later, on November 22, 2022, Rebecca and I were renovating a unit in our old apartment building for her nail studio. At this point, the ring had been in the pocket of my bomber jacket for almost three weeks. We were cleaning up for the night, and as Rebecca turned away from me to put her jacket on, I got on one knee. When she turned around, I proposed.

Rebecca: My jaw dropped because it just caught me off guard. It was nice because it was already an exciting time, as I was moving into the new studio, so it was an overwhelmingly happy period. I wouldn’t have wanted anything elaborate—I’m way too shy. But I’m surprised I didn’t find the ring: Pat loses his keys in the house often, and I’m always the first to check his jacket pockets.

Pat: We went back to our apartment riding on an emotional high. We called our parents to tell them the news and went around the corner to get dinner at Islas to celebrate. Pat: After we got engaged, we wanted to give ourselves a lengthy timeline to get married so we could travel and enjoy the engagement. We had been saving up for a trip to Japan for years, and we went in the fall of 2023.

Rebecca: We intended to start planning when we got back from Japan, but time flew by. Between birthday celebrations, a busy holiday season and my nail business picking up, it was easy to procrastinate.

Pat: In March of 2024, we got planning. In over a decade together, we’ve learned we work best under a deadline. We set a date, forced ourselves to plan it and got it all done in six months.

Rebecca: The first thing we did was find a venue. One of my first goals was to find the place where we’d do the least amount of work. Hotel Ocho was perfect for that—they do catering and seating, and it’s accessible for everyone to get around the space.

Pat: At first, we tried to make it low-budget, but halfway through, we realized that if we were only going to get married once, it would be worth it to celebrate ourselves. We decided to splurge on flowers, photography and outfits.

Rebecca: We wanted to do an evening-style cocktail party with close friends and family. Since the venue is dark, with chandeliers, brick walls and deep woods, we leaned in to a darker colour palette with reds, burgundies, golds and silvers. We planned everything ourselves, but my best friend Vanessa helped out a lot.

Pat: We had been looking for a photographer for months when Rebecca sent Bradley Golding’s page to me. He had photographed a wedding for a friend of hers, and it was clear he captured candid moments rather than traditional wedding photography.

Rebecca: Two months before our wedding, we had most of the major elements booked, but we didn’t have an officiant. My sister-in-law, Dani, offered to do it, which was special since she was family. However, she was only licensed to do it in the US, and could only officiate us in Canada if we got married at a courthouse and signed the wedding papers first.

Pat: We did a secret courthouse wedding with two witnesses, Vanessa and Rebecca’s mom, two weeks before our official day. We had a 20-minute time slot, and when we left, there was a line of couples waiting to get in. We booked our photographers, Bradley and his second shooter, Greg, to meet us afterward, and we used the courthouse wedding as practice for the big day. We orchestrated a full-day photoshoot.

Rebecca: For my ceremony dress, I wanted a corseted bodice with a short and playful style. I found twin sister dressmakers from Ukraine on Etsy who make Renaissance-style dresses. I saw the silhouette of a dress I loved, but it was floor-length and had a printed design. They were able to make customizations and create a mini dress in white satin, which cost $400.

Pat: I gravitated toward a 1970s-style suit. One afternoon, on a whim, I tried on a black Maison Margiela blazer at Holt Renfrew. They didn’t have the pants because it was from the previous season , but after searching online for a few weeks, I found the full suit set in shiny brown. The sheen of my suit went nicely with the sheen of Rebecca’s dress. Pat: On the day of our wedding ceremony, the morning started relaxed. It felt surreal that we were getting married. We wanted to get to the venue when they opened at 10 a.m. to start setting everything up. Rebecca: My mom came and picked us up, and we loaded her car with our supplies and drove over to Ocho. Vanessa helped us organize everything at the venue, which took some of the stress off. She was the closest thing we had to a wedding planner.

Pat: Most of the wedding decor was inexpensive or borrowed. We found the red curtain backdrop on Amazon and had custom matchbooks from Etsy for guests to take home. The vintage gold candlestick holders were from a lady on Facebook Marketplace who rents them. She set aside 90 for us, and we picked them up a few days before the ceremony.

Rebecca: For safety reasons, we weren’t allowed to use real candles, but one of my nail clients had set aside flameless candles for us from her own wedding. Vanessa made a heart-shaped wood entryway sign, and I added red tulle around it. We gave full trust to the florist, who specializes in drapery florals. They leaned in to the darker, moodier elements of our decor.

Pat: Around 1 p.m., Rebecca went upstairs to start getting ready. I decided to hang out in her room for a bit while she was getting her hair and makeup done. Our guests started arriving around 5:30 p.m. When I put on my suit, it was 30 minutes before the ceremony started.

Rebecca: We didn’t have a bridal party or groomsmen at our wedding. We didn’t want wedding traditions like speeches, and I didn’t want anyone walking me down the aisle. We would’ve been doing those things because we thought we had to, not because we wanted to. The only people who walked down the aisle were our two-year-old nephew, Benjamin, who was the ring bearer, and my brother, Lukas, who escorted him.

Pat: The ceremony started at 6 p.m. and lasted only about 10 minutes. We’re both fairly introverted, so we didn’t want to stand at the altar and give sweeping romantic vows. Instead, our sister-in-law had sent each of us a short questionnaire and included our answers in her speech.

Rebecca: It was funny because we didn’t know each other’s answers. One of the questions was, “What do you hope for in your future?" I answered that I wanted to keep getting hotter, which Dani quoted in her vows speech.

Pat: I mentally blacked out during the vows. I remember we exchanged rings, kissed and went up to our room to have a moment of excitement together. We were up there for a few minutes, and then we met Bradley at the side door to do a quick 45-minute shoot outside before it got dark.

Rebecca: While we were taking photos, all the guests moved upstairs, had drinks and mingled. We weren’t doing a seated dinner, so we served an array of appetizers, including sliders, pasta, poutine and chicken skewers.

Pat: When we got back, we took family photos against the backdrop before heading upstairs. We had a quick bite to eat and walked around to say hi to everyone. After the ceremony, we didn’t have a schedule, but my older sister gave a speech midway through the cocktail hour.

Rebecca: After everyone had settled in, we called them downstairs to cut the cake from Kwento. For years, Pat has been buying me Kwento cakes. The first time he got one was for one of our anniversaries, and he’s bought me one every year since, so it just made sense. They also made gluten-free cupcakes for our guests.

Pat: We didn’t have a first dance song, but we made a shared playlist with my friend, who was deejaying. The three of us added random songs. It ended up being a mix of classic and modern hits and nostalgic tunes from our high school era. We would go from Bruce Springsteen to Future to Natasha Bedingfield.

Pat: Toward the end of the night, our close family left around 10:30 p.m. We had the venue until midnight, but around 11:45 p.m., we were ready to go to our hotel room.

Rebecca: At that point, there were 10 of our closest friends remaining. They were still partying even as the DJ was starting to pack up, smooshing cupcakes in each other’s faces and having a blast. They only started moving toward the coat racks after Pat and I told them we were heading out.

Pat: We’ve been together almost every day for 13 years. Married life doesn’t feel much different, but I’m excited to continue growing together. I’m still getting used to calling her my wife.

Rebecca: We’ve been living as a married couple for almost our entire relationship, but now we get to call each other husband and wife.

Cheat Sheet

Date: October 6, 2024 Photography: Bradley Golding and Greg Trumper Planning: Rebecca Ramsdale and Pat O’Rourke Wedding venue and catering: Hotel Ocho Dessert: Kwento Stationery: Paperless Post and Etsy Florals: Flower Hag Rebecca’s dress: Office Seven on Etsy Veil: Etsy Rebecca’s shoes: Maison Margiela Pat’s tux: Maison Margiela Pat’s shoes: Stefan Cooke Rings: Alexandre Bergeron Hair: Ria Hatzis Makeup: Rebecca Ramsdale DJ: Carlo Panuncialman Officiant: Dani Ramsdale