Brace yourself: the $800 Ugg boot, courtesy of Jimmy Choo

Would you spend $795 on a pair of Uggs? Neither would we. But that’s the price of a pair of Jimmy Choo–designed suede boots on luxury shopping site Net-a-porter.com. (And that’s in U.S. dollars, friends.) They are fancied up with gold and silver studs, making them look like the end result of one of our best-forgotten Bedazzler projects. Hitting on two other trends, the Choo Uggs (Chuggs?) come in fringed versions ($695) and in leopard print ($595). Both are seriously unattractive. Whose idea was this?

Not available on Net-a-porter are the boots covered in gold stars, one in zebra stripe and a cable-knit pair. We can’t imagine that there are many 15-year-old girls who could convince their parents to shell out for a pair of these atrocities, but they are a cunning species. The line is limited edition, so with any luck we won’t have to look at many pairs on Toronto’s slush-filled streets this winter.