Toronto New Year’s Eve celebrations: a 10-part field guide

By Karon Liu | December 22, 2009

By Karon Liu | 12/22/2009

Choosing one New Year’s Eve event over hundreds of others can be daunting, especially when all the descriptions meld together with promises of a glass of champagne (read: cheap sparkling wine) and various misspellings of “hors d’oeuvre.” To help in the decision-making process, here’s a roundup of 10 very different events taking place on December 31^st.

(Looking for the best NYE prix fixe menus? Click here »)

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**Venue:** Gladstone
**Dining options:** Marc Breton’s hearty fare, including poutine, grilled cheese, ploughman’s board
**Libations:** Hotel bar stocked to the max
**Atmosphere:** The Skin Tight Outta Sight rock ’n’ roll burlesque troupe will be taking over the hotel, encouraging guests to put on their best “rock of love bus attire” (make sure those clear plastic platform heels have good traction on ice)
**Entertainment:** Singing and dancing by one of the city’s most popular burlesque troupes, partial nudity
**Likely to happen at midnight:** An MC will commence the countdown in an over-the-top, *Rocky Horror* manner with lots of double entendres
**Who will be there:** Aspiring roller derby athletes, musicians from bands no one has heard of, fans of the Pillow Fight League
**Who should go:** People who missed the burlesque boom of 2004
**Avoid if:** You have a stack of $5 bills you’d prefer not to part with
*1214 Queen St. W., **416-531-4635, event Web site.** $30 in advance, $40 at the door.*
Photo by Skin Tight Outta Sight

**Venue:** The Drake Hotel
**Dining options:** Five- or three-course meals, along with hors d’oeuvre. Expect such Drake staples as sushi and charcuterie
**Libations**: Obligatory glass of sparkling wine
**Atmosphere:** All-around warmth created by the hotel’s mood lighting and a sense of self-satisfaction from staying away from the downtown core
**Entertainment:** Jazz crooning by Elise LeGrow upstairs, DJs spinning in the underground. Basically, a re-enactment of K-os’ “Sunday Morning” video
**Likely to happen at midnight:** Quick cheers and air kisses followed by revellers crowding into the hotel rooms, where the real party begins
**Who will be there**: Twenty-somethings still in denial about the death of hipsterism, fashion students who skipped out on lunch at Freshii for an entire week to save up the entrance fee
**Who should go:** Those too old for the club district but too young for Yorkville
**Avoid if:** You have no idea what Owl City is
*1150 Queen St. W., 1-866-943-8849, event Web site. $75, $99 with dinner.*
Photo by Amber Dawn Pullin

**Venue:** Watusi
**Dining options:** Four-course menu (unfortunately doesn’t include the famous chickpea fries)
**Libations:** Quirky Pearson-era cocktails: mojitos, piña coladas, Manhattans and Singapore slings
**Atmosphere:** Retro dance party without the hassle of having to dress up as Peggy Olson
**Entertainment:** DJ spinning near the back of the space, marvelling at the restaurant’s psychedelic colours, deciding whether to eat or dance
**Likely to happen at midnight:** Quick champagne toast, then back to partying like it’s 1965
**Who will be there:** Nearby residents and business owners, kids disenchanted with Queen West, noise narcs keeping the volume under control
**Who should go:** *Mad Men* fans
**Avoid if:** You still use the term “shagadelic”
*110 Ossington Ave., 416-533-1800, watuzi.biz. $65.*
Photo by Watusi

**Venue:** Sneaky Dee’s
**Dining options:** The famously cheap and huge nacho platter
**Libations:** Cheap pitchers (and we don’t mean Roy Halladay)
**Atmosphere:** Laid-back dive bar
**Entertainment:** Sneak standby Shit la Merde will be spinning at The Garrison instead, but the DJ lineup will still maintain a similar sound
**Likely to happen at midnight:** Brief pause just after midnight as everyone realizes they missed the countdown due to all the dancing
**Who will be there:** The fraction of Torontonians who actually look good in skinny jeans, over-inked 20-somethings
**Who should go:** Cash-strapped students, people who would rather wear hoodies and jeans than suits and dresses, revellers unwilling to trek to the Junction to swill bottles of PBR in an ironic fashion
**Avoid if:** You’re over 30
*431 College St., 416-603-3090, sneaky-dees.com. $10 in advance, $15 at the door.*
Photo by Allison Felus

**Venue:** Ultra
**Dining options:** Surprisingly good and varied (vegetarian options!) three-course meal with such dishes as duck and roasted squash tourtière and beef tenderloin with marrow crust and parsley root purée
**Libations:** Not one, but two glasses of champagne for each person
**Atmosphere:** Dark club with glowing panels to accentuate the silhouettes of the well coiffed and fit staffers
**Entertainment:** Loud beats, macho guys giving bro hugs
**Likely to happen at midnight:** Lots of hooting and hollering
**Who will be there:** Male regulars breaking out the black party loafers, women in sky-high heels
**Who should go:** Party-goers who prefer not to go outside between dinner and clubbing
**Avoid if:** You are not a fan of *Jersey Shore*
*314 Queen St. W., 416-263-0330, ultratoronto.com. $161.*
Photo by Ultra

**Venue:** The Burroughes Building
**Dining options:** Hors d’oeuvre (read: fill up beforehand)
**Libations:** Open bar
**Atmosphere:** Fancy-dress masquerade ball with a whiff of exclusivity
**Entertainment:** Eavesdropping, predicting who will make it into Govani’s next column, updating Twitter feeds every 10 minutes
**Likely to happen at midnight:** A collective toast, fifty-fifty chance of confetti cannon, aerial group photo reminiscent of the one in *The Shining*
**Who will be there:** Shinan Govani and the duo behind Greta Constantine will be hosting. And wherever Govani is, expect flocks of other local celebs and party page regulars to be close by
**Who should go:** Aspiring gossip bloggers, party photographers, the Salahis
**Avoid if:** You want to get wasted
*639 Queen St. W., [email protected], event Web site. $100.*
Image by Burroughes Building

**Venue:** Nathan Phillips Square
**Dining options:** $3 hot dogs ($5 with fries)
**Libations:** Tim Hortons and Starbucks to offset the hypothermia—that is, if it’s even possible to get inside the coffee joints, which have to serve hundreds of people throughout the night
**Atmosphere:** Collective feigned enthusiasm to mask the bitterness of not having worn enough layers, kids asking how much longer till midnight
**Entertainment:** Scripted bantering by newscasters, an unidentifiable VJ, Shawn Desman/Danny Fernandes/Massari (it’s Karl Wolf this year), Jarvis Church, Anjulie, Kardinal Offishall, cast of *Rock of Ages,* the Mission District
**Likely to happen at midnight:** A good but modest fireworks display so as not to set the city on fire, followed by a massive evacuation at 12:01 in order to beat the traffic
**Who will be there:** Out-of-towners, fathers with shoulders strained from carrying their kids all night
**Who should go:** Junior high students venturing downtown for the first time without parents, boyfriends who want to be that guy who proposes on live TV, families composed of people who really get along with each other
**Avoid if:** You have a TV that carries CityTV
*100 Queen St. W., event Web site. Free.*
Photo by Photopia

**Venue:** Hazelton Lanes
**Dining options:** Very small appetizers
**Libations:** The event is sponsored by Roberto Cavalli Vodka
**Atmosphere:** Conspicuous consumerism at its finest
**Entertainment:** A hodgepodge of DJs, Cirque du Soleil aerialists and a Cavalli fashion show, because nothing says party like a fashion show
**Likely to happen at midnight:** Polite glass raising and air kisses
**Who will be there:** The real housewives of Toronto, industry people ready to hand out stacks of business cards
**Who should go:** Fashion bloggers, Waldorf wannabes
**Avoid if:** You equate Jimmy Choo’s H&M line with Jimmy Choo’s actual line
*55 Avenue Rd., 647-898-2554, event Web site. $60–$80.*
Photo courtesy of Roberto Cavalli

**Venue:** Ame
**Dining options:** À la carte in the evening, tasting menu at 9 p.m.
**Libations:** Wintry girly cocktails and hot sake
**Atmosphere:** Low-key setting where it’ll be more about the food than the revelry
**Entertainment:** Guy Rubino’s culinary flourishes
**Likely to happen at midnight:** Polite hand roll raising
**Who will be there:** Bay Streeters hacking away at their BlackBerrys, foodies who’d rather have a party in their mouths than at a club
**Who should go:** Ho Su and New Gen regulars looking to step it up a notch
**Avoid if:** You always order California rolls at sushi joints
*19 Mercer St., 416-599-7246, event Web site. Tasting menu $85–$100.*
Photo by Davida Aronovitch

**Venue:** Casa Loma
**Dining options:** Hors d’oeuvre are included in the $75 entrance fee, but has anyone ever seen a server with an actual plate of food at these parties? The catering is done by the Pegasus Group, which also represents Nyood, Kultura and the interchangeable Philthy McNasty’s, O’Grady’s, the Wheat Sheaf and the Fox and Fiddle
**Libations:** Obligatory glass of sparkling wine (the event description says “champagne,” but we’re skeptical). The bar’s open until 2 a.m.
**Atmosphere:** The event promises “plenty of romantic make-out spots,” according to She Does the City (it’s that kind of party). Access is limited to the great room, the library and the conservatory, but we’re sure a few people will make it a mission to have a romp in the stable or the master bedroom
**Entertainment:** DJs spinning, watching people grinding strangers in a century-old house where children have Easter egg hunts
**Likely to happen at midnight:** Castle-wide PDAs
**Who will be there:** People who haven’t visited the castle since grade school, naughty librarians, history buffs
**Who should go:** People who need parking, kids who got shut out of the rave at the Don Jail during the summer
**Avoid if:** You expect a Clue-style murder mystery to unfold
*1 Austin Terr., 416-524-4505, event Web site. $75.*
Photo by Wanda Gould

Also: Check out our picks for the best NYE prix fixe menus »

3 thoughts on “Toronto New Year’s Eve celebrations: a 10-part field guide”

Catherine says:

December 22, 2009 at 10:08 pm

All sounds a little hum drum.
Aly says:

December 30, 2009 at 7:32 pm

That was too funny. Thank you so much for writing that piece. Happy New Year
Nathan says:

December 30, 2009 at 7:53 pm

Or, if you can’t watch it on TV, there’s the live stream on http://www.holidayguide.ca/nye/ which starts at 10pm on the 31st.