Mind Your Manners: 10 things you do at restaurants that chefs and owners can’t stand
When a restaurant fails on any level, everyone hears about it on social media, or Yelp, or from the latest disgruntled food critic. But when a customer acts like a jerk, restaurants are just supposed to suck it up—which seems a bit unfair. In the interests of leveling the playing field, we talked to chefs and restaurateurs across the city to find out how patrons (either knowingly or not) make things difficult for everyone. Maybe, don’t do these things.
1. Seating yourself. DIY is cool when you’re putting together a zine, but host duties are best left to the pros. If you’ve just walked into a busy restaurant and there happens to be an empty seat, it’s probably spoken for. “Some people expect that they can just sit anywhere,” says Fan Zhang, chef and co-owner at Mr. Flamingo on Dundas West. “It’s like stealing someone’s seat at the movies.”
2. Asking “What’s the best thing on the menu?” People ask this inane question all the time. (And it is inane, because since when are you soul mates with your server?) It’s also awkward, because it puts pressure on servers to comp recommended dishes that don’t go over well. “It’s a trap,” says Black Hoof and Rhum Corner owner Jen Agg. “When someone asks what’s the best thing, I’ll always joke and say, ‘oh, the whole menu is terrible.’” If guidance is absolutely necessary, “what’s popular” might be a better question.
3. Thinking you’re Nathan Myhrvold or something. Just because you have a subscription to Lucky Peach, that doesn’t mean you know better than the chef. “I’ve had people ask for their steak tartare medium rare, or for their medium-rare steak to be hot all the way through,” says Chris Kalisperas, chef at The Forth. The kitchen usually knows what it’s doing. And if you insist on choosing your own dining adventure, don’t expect a free meal when things don’t work out.
4. Fad diets/Fake allergies. Maybe you’re so allergic to onions that your face melts off when you’re near them. Maybe you’ll die prematurely if you don’t eat the way cavemen used to eat. Or maybe you’re just being difficult and putting the kitchen on high alert for no good reason. “You’re going to tell me you have a shellfish allergy, and then you’re going to eat oysters and lobster?” says Jonathan Poon, chef and co-owner at Chantecler. And if you’re going to request a meal that’s whatever-free, you probably shouldn’t complain about it on Yelp when you realize that whatever-free food sucks. “You’re complaining about what you asked for,” Poon says.
5. Being a flake. When people are flaky with their friends, it’s inconvenient. When people are flaky with restaurants, it literally robs people of money. “Have the courtesy just to call and advise us,” Kalisperas says. “We don’t only lose revenue; it costs us money, because we’ve scheduled staff according to our reservations.” Being late isn’t cool, either. Says Zhang: “We’re a small restaurant, so everything has to run like clockwork. If a table is late, it throws everything off.”
6. Flash photography. If there’s one thing Martha Stewart has taught us, other than the whole “jail is bad” thing, it’s that food rarely looks nice when photographed with a flash. Impromptu strobe lights also ruin ambiance. “People want to share their excitement, and that’s great,” says Agg. “But if someone starts using flash photography, I’ll ask them to stop.”
7. Asking for split bills after the fact. Split bills are always going to happen, but they’re worse when you don’t tell your server beforehand. “There are always complications with split bills, especially after people have had a few drinks,” says Adrian Ravinsky, co-owner of 416 Snack Bar and Peoples Eatery. “There are usually items left over.”
8. Silly substitutions. So there’s this chain restaurant called Subway, and when you go there, you can customize your entire sandwich so that you end up with the grossest, most unbalanced thing in the entire world. At good restaurants, though, chefs put careful thought into composing each dish. Anyone who asks for something added or removed is actually wrecking a lot of hard work. “Generally speaking, the dishes are created to be balanced in a certain way. There’s nothing superfluous on the plate,” Agg says.
9. Stacking empty plates. Bussing your own table might seem like a noble thing to do, but it doesn’t actually help anyone. Servers (just like customers) can be weird, and they have their own ways of cleaning tables and stacking dishes, so it’s best not to mess with their rhythm. “If the plates are stacked in a way that’s not efficient, it’s really annoying,” Poon says. “It’s the server’s job. Just let them do it.”
10. Camping. Remember that time you stayed at that house party way after everyone left, and the host gave you every form of body signal that exists to communicate that it was time to leave, and you just kept drinking, and everyone had the best time ever? Overstaying your welcome is always a faux pas. You can try sticking around long after you’ve paid the bill, but if you’re at a busy restaurant, lots of people are going to get ticked off. “It’s so inconsiderate,” Ravinsky says. “People are waiting for that table, and they get angry when they have to wait.”
 make things difficult for everyone. Maybe, don’t do these things.
1. Seating yourself. DIY is cool when you’re putting together a zine, but host duties are best left to the pros. If you’ve just walked into a busy restaurant and there happens to be an empty seat, it’s probably spoken for. “Some people expect that they can just sit anywhere,” says Fan Zhang, chef and co-owner at Mr. Flamingo on Dundas West. “It’s like stealing someone’s seat at the movies.”
2. Asking "What’s the best thing on the menu?" People ask this inane question all the time. (And it is inane, because since when are you soul mates with your server?) It's also awkward, because it puts pressure on servers to comp recommended dishes that don't go over well. “It’s a trap,” says Black Hoof and Rhum Corner owner Jen Agg. “When someone asks what’s the best thing, I’ll always joke and say, ‘oh, the whole menu is terrible.’” If guidance is absolutely necessary, “what’s popular” might be a better question.
3. Thinking you’re Nathan Myhrvold or something. Just because you have a subscription to Lucky Peach, that doesn't mean you know better than the chef. “I’ve had people ask for their steak tartare medium rare, or for their medium-rare steak to be hot all the way through,” says Chris Kalisperas, chef at The Forth. The kitchen usually knows what it's doing. And if you insist on choosing your own dining adventure, don't expect a free meal when things don't work out.
4. Fad diets/Fake allergies. Maybe you’re so allergic to onions that your face melts off when you’re near them. Maybe you’ll die prematurely if you don’t eat the way cavemen used to eat. Or maybe you’re just being difficult and putting the kitchen on high alert for no good reason. “You’re going to tell me you have a shellfish allergy, and then you’re going to eat oysters and lobster?” says Jonathan Poon, chef and co-owner at Chantecler. And if you’re going to request a meal that’s whatever-free, you probably shouldn’t complain about it on Yelp when you realize that whatever-free food sucks. “You’re complaining about what you asked for,” Poon says.
5. Being a flake. When people are flaky with their friends, it’s inconvenient. When people are flaky with restaurants, it literally robs people of money. “Have the courtesy just to call and advise us,” Kalisperas says. “We don’t only lose revenue; it costs us money, because we’ve scheduled staff according to our reservations.” Being late isn’t cool, either. Says Zhang: “We’re a small restaurant, so everything has to run like clockwork. If a table is late, it throws everything off.”
6. Flash photography. If there’s one thing Martha Stewart has taught us, other than the whole “jail is bad” thing, it’s that food rarely looks nice when photographed with a flash. Impromptu strobe lights also ruin ambiance. “People want to share their excitement, and that’s great,” says Agg. “But if someone starts using flash photography, I’ll ask them to stop.”
7. Asking for split bills after the fact. Split bills are always going to happen, but they’re worse when you don’t tell your server beforehand. “There are always complications with split bills, especially after people have had a few drinks,” says Adrian Ravinsky, co-owner of 416 Snack Bar and Peoples Eatery. “There are usually items left over.”
8. Silly substitutions. So there’s this chain restaurant called Subway, and when you go there, you can customize your entire sandwich so that you end up with the grossest, most unbalanced thing in the entire world. At good restaurants, though, chefs put careful thought into composing each dish. Anyone who asks for something added or removed is actually wrecking a lot of hard work. “Generally speaking, the dishes are created to be balanced in a certain way. There’s nothing superfluous on the plate,” Agg says.
9. Stacking empty plates. Bussing your own table might seem like a noble thing to do, but it doesn’t actually help anyone. Servers (just like customers) can be weird, and they have their own ways of cleaning tables and stacking dishes, so it’s best not to mess with their rhythm. “If the plates are stacked in a way that’s not efficient, it’s really annoying,” Poon says. “It’s the server’s job. Just let them do it.”
10. Camping. Remember that time you stayed at that house party way after everyone left, and the host gave you every form of body signal that exists to communicate that it was time to leave, and you just kept drinking, and everyone had the best time ever? Overstaying your welcome is always a faux pas. You can try sticking around long after you’ve paid the bill, but if you’re at a busy restaurant, lots of people are going to get ticked off. “It’s so inconsiderate,” Ravinsky says. “People are waiting for that table, and they get angry when they have to wait.”){kind=link}
There should be an opposing piece. Things that restaurants do that customer’s can’t stand.
I think that piece might be called “Yelp.”
This article seems very misguided and smells of the poor service culture in Toronto restaurants.
For instance, I thought restaurants were supposed to please the customers, not the other way around. Asking for recommendations is a great way to get to know the menu and staking plates is usually done because the server didn’t pick up the plates.
100% agree. I really don’t understand what the problem is with asking what’s good as many restaurants have something they’re known for and if you haven’t been there before it’s always nice to get some guidance. That being said, if they suggest something that you don’t like, you don’t have to order it and if you do order it and expect to get comped, you’re just an idiot. You’re also bang on regarding the plates. If I am stacking my plates it means you’re doing a shitty job with service and my table is cluttered with plates I don’t need anymore.
Some of the things are accurate though with comments about flash photography etc. Nothing is more annoying than trying to enjoy a meal and having strobe lights constantly going off. The irony too of allowing your food to get cold as you setup the perfect instagram picture also reflects our hopeless generation.
I agree – there are some valid points in there about how to be a polite customer. The troubling thing to me is the sneering tone. I’ve worked in the restaurant industry and I know it can be demanding and some people are rude but that’s the exception, from my experience, not the rule…
Asking for a recommendation in a restaurant is a ridiculous thing. How do you choose what to recommend on the entire menu? That menu itself is a recommendation. We recommend you order any one of these things that we’ve designed and put on our menu. What’s good? All of its good. That’s why we choose to serve it to you. We recommend you order what you like to eat based on the options that have been provided to you.
I can see some of these items being issues, like not showing up for a reservation, showing up late without a phone call, seating yourself, changes and substitutions or this whole obsession with taking pictures of your food. Those I agree with.
However, if I want to stack the plates up to get them out of the way and it messes with your flow, then get over it. If I wanted to sit in front of a bunch of dirty plates I’d make my reservation for the dish pit.
You don’t like that we’ve decided to sit for a while and chat after our meal? Too bad, I’m here to enjoy myself, be thankful that we’ve chosen to bless you with our business. There are hundreds of restaurants out there looking for business, appreciate what you have. You need the table? Offer a complimentary coffee or drink at the bar. If you want people to sit, eat and leave, open a Harvey’s.
As for asking what’s the best thing on the menu, how can that possibly be a bad question? Everyone is good at something, maybe your chef’s thing is lasagna, I don’t know, so I’ll ask. You have at least two pages of items, some are going to be better than others. That’s not to say the other items are bad, just that some are better. Everyone’s been in a steak house and seen that they serve fish and chicken, why is that? Are those the best thing on the menu? I don’t, know but maybe the chef grew up working at his parents fish and chip shop and makes a really great fish and chips. It would be helpful if the server answered the question in this case with, “well we’re known for our great steaks but we probably make the best fish and chips in the city”.
Take me back to the days before the Food Network when restaurants appreciated their customers. You can still see it in the old school restaurants. Walk into a place like Bymark and ask them what’s the best thing on the menu; everything is great, but they’ll tell you about the burger. Then when your burger arrives ask for some ketchup. Sure they hate that you’ve ordered their signature item with a side of ketchup but they’re happy to get you what you want to make your night memorable. That’s service.
Seriously? There’s not one great thing on the menu that stands out? If that’s the case then fire your chef.
For all of the complaining about this article, especially what is labeled as a ‘sneering tone’, how many of you, if contributing to an article about the annoyances of YOUR job, would have people say that YOU have a sneering tone? I’m going to go way out on a limb and say about 100%.
So then write that article. Or if a restaurant is doing something you don’t like-tell them, or stop going.
I can tell just by the length and verbose ranting nature that you’re probably a horror show to serve. So basically, if you’ve made a reservation at 7pm, you feel it’s your right to sit there as LONG as you want, right up until closing, and likely a little past closing? Because it’s all about YOU and the people that reserved after you should have reserved earlier? A lot of the things in that article can be lumped under ‘feeling entitled’ and you do a good job providing examples.
All good solutions! Maybe I will… Thanks!
LOL touche!
I find that I read most things on the internet with a sneering tone. It’s a mad, mad sneering world!
Restaurants also use that question to push dishes that aren’t selling well so they can get rid of stock before it expires. It’s a shitty question on both ends.
Great point. However, maybe the reason we’re not putting forth and essay on what we don’t like about our jobs is the fact that we enjoy our jobs. We appreciate that our customers are not always perfect and sometimes they annoy us but in the end we appreciate the business and enjoy what we do. I don’t see that as a bad thing.
If they push bad dishes they won’t see return customers. I think the question allows restaurants to put their best foot forward.Maybe I feel like a steak but the server answers that they ‘make the best mac and cheese’ then I’ll go out on a limb and try the mac and cheese. If it truly is great then I’ll be sure to tell everyone about the great mac and cheese I just had.
You’re right, as the customer, it is all about me. Restaurants who forget about that point tend to be the ones that don’t see their second anniversary.
You look at the best restaurants in the city and why they’re the best, food trends come and go, customer service is forever.
I don’t know where anyone said they ‘push bad dishes’.
I always thought yelp was a site for amateur female writers to make female jokes, refer to their ‘hubby’ and see how many words like ‘natch’ and ‘delish’ they can fit into an extremely distracted “review”
I look at the best restaurants in the city and they’re places that do what they do and not cowtow to people that come in and say “I’m not a big fan of basil, can you leave that out? And replace it with cheese because I’m the customer and it’s what I want’. But I like that you gloss over the point-the restaurants you go to should be concerned with YOU-not customers in general. And you couldn’t care less about anyone that may have made a reservation a couple of hours after yours because you want to sit there… and sit there… and sit there… because it’s your “right”. Because you’re entitled to.
Toronto’s food scene is a reflection of the city itself. Overpriced mediocrity. How else do you explain why people like Jen Agg are considered “industry leaders”?
Finally we agree on something.
Mike makes some good points. I like the idea of complimentary drinks/coffee at the bar. If restaurants want to change behaviours, they should offer incentives and creative alternatives.
Completely agree! I’m so tired of the f$&@ing restaurant industry in Toronto. We, the customers, should be thankful that we’re given the privilege of dining at their precious restaurant and we should be overjoyed with paying hundreds of dollars for a few morsels of food! And don’t forget the auto-gratuity that’s set at 18%. Wtf??! What other industry exists where customers have to subsidize the business’ labour costs???
Agree wholeheartedly with every point made by the author. This is a pretty good checklist of how to not behave like a dip**** customer. I was at Terroni once back in the early days when a server refused to bring a diner a jar of parmesan cheese. Why? The clown wanted to sprinkle cheese all over his pasta that had seafood in it. The server politely explained that – 1. They don’t have “jars” of any kind of cheese. 2. The dish is absolutely not meant to be eaten with cheese on it. The customer got irritated. The server stood their ground. Good decision.
Mr Poon, mollusks such as oysters are not shellfish. I am allergic to shrimp, crab, lobster but can eat mussels, clams, oysters.
Worst thing happened to us last week. We arrived for our reservation and, as people do, some of the party arrived a little later. We were chided by the host and advised that we better hurry up as we only had 2 hours – a fact that was not explained when we made the reservation. We left early and walked past an empty table 2 hours after spending money at another restaurant for dessert and coffee. That and the “split the bill” drama – in Quebec City, we never had to ask for this, even once.
What other business get away with paying less than minimum wage? Would you rather they get paid more-NOT tip and then have no choice?
They should offer incentives to have people show courtesy and respect for other diners?
You can always go to Woodbridge. Or Oshawa. Or Missussauga. Or Brampton.
I expect more from Toronto Life. Very poorly researched and written article. It belongs with the rubble of lefty hipster propaganda in Now Magazine.
You value your opinion more than it is worth, my dear.
Yes and yes.
You must have been a poorly paid and disgruntled server. Or perhaps you still are. Very sad.
Or New York. Or London. Or Dubai. Or Hong Kong.
Have you READ the article?
CAN you read btw?
And you should get a life…
Then stop going = win/win on both ends.
Go figure, Jen Agg has yet another comment on how we’re doing it wrong.
Ahhh… yes. I was able to get through the article despite it not having CAPS. Odd how that works.
I went to a restaurant once for a celebratory dinner. They made zero recommendations (when asked), the service was painfully slow (and yes, we bused the dishes ourselves), and they asked us to hurry up and finish our food while we were still eating so that they could take the next reservations. You’d have to pay me to eat there again. I agree with your comments.
“Camping”? I prefer the Italian dining style. You pay for the table, and it’s yours for the night. No rush to get out.
WOW, this is a great testament to the attitude ridden restaurant culture in Toronto. Last time I checked I was a paying customer helping keep your business open. Try putting more effort into making my experience good enough to come back, there’s way too many great places to eat to take crap like this!
Anyone notice that whenever Toronto Life produces one of these articles (which frankly seem to serve no other purpose than to generate comments), they tend to quote the same 3 or 4 restauranteurs? Jenn Agg, for example, is front and centre on any article involving the restaurant industry complaining about customers – I think she in particular takes some kind of perverse joy in showing disdain for most of her diners. So rather than take this an indictment of “Toronto’s restaurant culture” maybe just limit your (probably unnecessary) rage at those who consistently respond to articles of this ilk. I say unnecessary, because I would bet that most of the people commenting have never actually been to the restaurants mentioned in the article, so what’s it to you if they have complaints?
For the record though, I actually don’t have much issue with these complaints, because frankly the resolution to most of them involves little more than customers showing common courtesy and respect – no extraordinary behaviour is required. Just look at these complaints again – are they REALLY so egregious?
– call if you’re running late
– don’t hang around at the table for an hour after you’ve paid your bill, especially if the place is busy
– let us seat you
-please don’t bus the tables yourselves (why are you bussing your own table?)
– please respect the menu and limit substitution requests
– please give the server a heads up if you need a split tab, because its extremely cumbersome to do so after the fact (for both the servers and the party in question, I might add)
These can be summed up as “please demonstrate some common courtesy in dealing with us”.
That said though, I do think the “what the best item on the menu” complaint is a little precious – surely a server can interpret that to be a request for a recommendation, which is hardly an usual thing at a restaurant.
Use the time you spent writing this to work out creative strategies to deal with the 5% of your customers that cause the problems. Such drama.
This article wreaks of Toronto anal bullshit. I think we have some amazing new chefs and restaurants but it’s this poor comprehension of how to actually please the customer and create a fun laid back environment that the city just lacks as a whole. The vibe in restaurants in Toronto will never be like other world class cities such as New York, Paris or Montreal because Toronto just takes themselves way too seriously and they are way too tight assed.
My dinner or lunch reservations are never hurried. If I am hurried by staff, I don’t go back and the staff does not get tipped above 12%. Being hurried works out well for me as it clearly defines the restaurants that have excellent owners/values as opposed to ones that believe they are the ones doing you a favour. Restaurants that pack their reservations so tight that they need to remind you to leave are not treating you with respect. Believing otherwise is a farce.
And substituting items or excluding them? Are you kidding me? If you want to treat your food like artist, than don’t charge money for it. It is a business. Patrons have many reasons to substitute or exclude items. I also ask for half dishes. The restaurants I frequent not only make my requests a reality, they do so with a smile.
Why is splitting the tab cumbersome after the fact? I’ve eaten in many restaurants in Quebec and it’s never been a problem. As a matter of fact, they ask you at the end of the meal if you want one bill or 8. I don’t know why this still is an issue in Toronto. We have the technology.
Jenn Agg is obviously someone that despises her own existence, and really, who can blame her? Regardless, given her constant harping about Toronto, her hipster clientele, and the mediocre restaurant she runs, what’s keeping her here?
In any case – and this really goes for all chefs, restaurants and servers, etc. If you hate your job, or clientele, for the love of God, do us a favor and find a different career. Then you can complain to someone else – but please, spare us the constant whining. We don’t need to give you our money, or our tips.
Like anything, any particular instance of these things falls on a spectrum, ranging in egregiousness. For the most part, these things are fine within reason.
To some extent all the people griping in the comments are right, restaurants should cater to their customers and if they don’t, their customers are certainly entitled not to return. That said, many of these things are dealt with on a daily basis in any restaurant in the city and after a time they get really tiring.
To clarify a couple things:
Deceptively bad-
2. asking about the menu is not bad, generally servers love a chance to show their knowledge, it’s the specific question that’s the issue here. Best is totally subjective and as such, this is a stupid question (sorry, it’s true). What you SHOULD be asking instead is either what the restaurant is known for or what the most popular dishes are.
9. so I don’t think this is that bad and actually do it myself to a certain extent, however when it’s done badly it can actually make extra work for the server/busser because they won’t be able to clear the table as efficiently, necessitating extra trips. In the worst instances, badly stacked stuff can turn in to a sort of booby-trap leading to spills, stains and broken plates.
Minor annoyances –
3. it’s okay not to know about stuff… but don’t pose.
4. it’s okay not to want to eat certain things but don’t bullshit about allergies.
try just ordering appropriately
6. I personally don’t care but I can imagine it would disturb some people
7. realistically this should be easy to deal with, splitting bills etc is pretty easy with any modern POS system. Running 8 separate credit cards and accounting for items no one claims is the real issue here.
moderate annoyances –
1. if you’re going to take a table that’s reserved or meant to seat more people and then get pissy with the host(ess) when they try to move you, you suck.
if it’s just another 2-top etc. and the staff try to shoe-horn you into an uncomfortable table, you’re fine
Possibly major annoyances –
5. There’s nothing worse than telling people at the door you don’t have a table for them when there are visible empty tables being held for reservations and then a half hour later having a half empty restaurant cause a bunch of reso’s didn’t show up.
8. This was a personal pet-peeve of mine. Again it’s a spectrum and there are many appropriate and reasonable requests about having things left off your food and substitutions. However if you’re going to totally bastardize a dish, you forfeit the right to complain about it (barring major food quality issues).
Some things will just be bad and if you try to request them, your server can and should try to convince you otherwise. If you like those things that’s okay I guess, just don’t complain after heavily modifying stuff.
10. Again, moderation! Restaurants should not hurry their customers too much, it can certainly ruin the experience. That said, if you tarry too long, you’re not only being inconsiderate towards your server and the restaurant but also other patrons.
I find the more polite I am as a guest, the better service I get from the server. While I believe the establishment should provide great service to ensure I return, I am NOT an entitled customer.
The problem is this, patrons take a look at a fine dining restauraunt (think Canoe), who will pull out all the stops, but only if you have deep pockets to do so. You won’t be rushed, you can substitute all you wan’t …etc. It’s an anything goes mentality, which is fine, but that business model won’t apply for a medium priced restaurant. They don’t have the same price per dish, so they must make it up in numbers. This is why they won’t allow substations or split bills (they cost time), or allow camping (you’re essentially robbing the restaurant of revenue sources. So yeah, you could say London or New York have a better service culture, but at what price point? If you go to a medium price independent restaurant (say 14$ for a hand crafted burger), then Toronto id pretty neck and neck with the rest of the world.
Not necessarily. It depends on the restaurant, and the way their system is set up. Currently my POS does not have seat numbers, I can’t separate items until the very end, making it both time consuming for myself by splitting it, and time consuming going around separately to every single individual table. In a high turnover environment, it just costs too much time.
totally disagree with #4 and #8. customers are paying good money for food at a restaurant. that food should be what they like to eat (or, in the case of allergies, what is safe for them to eat), not what the chef thinks is a ‘balanced’ dish. if the chef wants me to try a dish he’s put a lot of careful thought and hard work into, i’d be happy to – all he has to do is offer to come to my house to cook it at his own expense. when it’s my money buying the food, it’s my tastebuds choosing the food.
“What other industry exists where customers have to subsidize the business labour costs?”
Try: every single business ever.
Have you been to any of her restaurants? They’re all excellent — as are the other restaurants her former chefs and staff have opened. She also owns the hands-down best cocktail bar in the city. I think she knows what she’s talking about.
This is such a pretentious article. Asking for recommendations? Stacking empty plates? And flash photography? Seriously? That one actually made me laugh. Get over yourself.
The chef’s whole job is putting careful thought and hard work into making food – that’s what he does! You as a customer are there to enjoy the dishes he has created – not to create your own dishes with his ingredients. Aside from allergies and dietary restrictions, there is no reason to request changes in dishes. If you don`t like something on the menu, order a different dish.
we have a fundamental disagreement with what i’m there to do – i feel i’m there to pay someone to make food for me. if a chef wants me to eat what he wants to cook – no problem! but i shouldn’t pay for that. what i’m paying for is food that i will enjoy. if the chef wants to put, as an example, onions on a salad because that’s something HE likes, i don’t find it unreasonable to request that he leaves the onions off the salad that i’m going to eat. besides, if i didn’t ask for them to be left off, i’d just pick them out, anyway, leading to wastage for the restaurant. it would be silly for me not to ask for them to be left off. i wouldn’t, however, ask for the chef to pick all of the onions out of my chili, or make an entire onion-free batch just for me – i am not unreasonable! if it’s an easy thing to leave off, i ask for it to be left off – and i have never had a server or chef complain.
If a server finds it an issue to recommend signature dishes or house specialties, the server and the restaurant owner are both in the wrong line of work. Yes, I know everything on the menu is good or it would not be on the menu, but some of the items on your menu ARE there because you needed a red meat option or a fish option, not because you consider them exceptional dishes…no restaurant on the planet believes every item on their menu is their best item. If you are unable to point out what is either popular or what the chef considers their signature dishes or what is especially good today because they scored some really fresh whatever at the market this morning, get a job at Wendy’s. It is also 2015, if your restaurant is not set up to do separate bills, GET it set up! And if I don’t want basil on my dish, don’t put basil on my dish. Maybe I just plain don’t like basil but really am in the mood for tilapia with garlic and lemon…I am fully aware you think basil makes the dish better and more balanced, and I am fully aware that for most people it does make it better, but if I just don’t like basil please don’t make me pick it off my fish because your sensibilities are offended. And sorry, you don’t get to judge whether my dietary restriction is a fad or a life threatening condition, if I say I can’t have gluten, just don’t serve me any gluten. My job is to be on time and leave after a reasonable length of time, to not be loud or rude, and to pay my bill, everything else about the dining experience I am paying for is YOUR JOB.
I used to be a waitress so I agree to almost everything except for the stacking plates. I always appreciated it, especially with large groups, because you can pick up so much more in one trip. It makes a big difference especially when customers stack them nicely (i.e. not hinting that I’m not doing my job right). At some restaurants, you get like 8 little dishes and I’d always stack them for my server when I’m done so that they can remove everything swiftly rather than taking forever stacking them clumsily with one hand.
Banking, insurance, farming. to name a few. subsidised by there taxpayer customer.
You think they’re any more tolerant of this shit in New York or London? Really?
I’ve never been a server, but I would think the following would be things that restaurant staff and owners hate:
Asking the server to take a picture of your group (he has clients to tend to)
Asking for all kinds of “extras” beyond the usual, then leaving a 5% tip
Subjecting the server to anecdotes (he doesn’t have time to hear your life story)
Asking the server why it took the kitchen so long to prepare your food (he’s the server, not the chef!)
Asking the server for wine recommendations, then ordering something completely unrelated (like a Cab Sauv with your shellfish), then complaining about the wine
Pointing out typos and mistakes in the menu – bring that up to management who was too cheap to hire a proofreader
Can you READ?
Yaaa I think he ment the whole tip thing, having wait staff get paid below minimum wage is archaic
i’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and ignore that you’re being obtuse.
servers should get paid a living wage. if menu prices increase, so be it. restaurants that know how to run a business will succeed, others will close. and that also means that servers will pay tax on all the income that they receive…vs. conveniently excluding cash tips when it’s tax time.
the north american system that we follow right now helps the restaurant owners make more money, they charge high prices to begin with and then also expect the customer to add a sizeable tip to subsidize wages. do you really think that restaurant owners discount the price that you see on the menu by 15%? if so, then i might have to come up with something stronger than obtuse…
exactly. wow, what a novel idea? maybe you should take a trip outside of north america and see how the rest of the world works…