Dear Urban Diplomat: please provide some winter wear etiquette for those enormous puffy coats that take up half the streetcar
Dear Urban Diplomat,
It seems like puffy coats with oversized fur-fringed hoods are all the rage again this season. I understand they’re warm and stylish, but, man, they take up a lot of room. I’m sick of getting a face full of fur on the streetcar, not to mention attempting to squeeze between two gargantuan parkas at the urinal. Can you provide some winter wear guidelines?
The rules of puffy coat engagement:
1) Use the coat check. I know it’s a pain to line up at the AGO, or empty your pockets of valuables before handing your coat over at a restaurant, but just do it. If an establishment doesn’t have a coat check, write the management a letter. Remind them they are located in Canada, where winter requires body- and soul-suffocating layers.
2) If you choose to keep your puffy coat on while on public transit or in a crowded elevator, don’t expect sympathy when you faint from heatstroke. Also, if possible, please turn your back to a wall or window so as not to graze the eyes of fellow passengers with your fulsome fringe.
3) In narrow grocery store aisles, the coat should be placed in the shopping cart (needless to say, the shopping cart can be a more serious menace than the coat; please drive it responsibly).
4) Absolutely no hooded coats should be worn during movie screenings. Moviegoers seated behind view-obscuring hoods have every right to deposit their half-empty popcorn bag into them.
5) In the washroom: any man who has ever peed while wearing a coat knows that being heavily clothed on top and exposed down below is awkward and humbling. It is discouraged for this reason alone, never mind the fact that simultaneous parka and penis management is difficult, and down-filled fabric is expensive to dry clean.
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7 thoughts on “Dear Urban Diplomat: please provide some winter wear etiquette for those enormous puffy coats that take up half the streetcar”
“never mind the fact that simultaneous parka and penis management is difficult…”
I really don’t find Canada Goose coats to be stylish at all.
There is nothing I hate more than crowded subways and someones hood fuzz in my lip gloss. Completely gag worthy. It’s almost as bad as visible dandruff.
Stop using cheap wire hangers that wreck you clothes and invest in some nice wood coat hangers! Word.
It’s gonna be a few days before the visual of guy, parka and urinal are erased from my mind…and I thought women wearing one-piece bathing suits had it hard…
For the love of god, better the big coat than a loud talking cell phone user, backpacks on backs,stinky food, bad breath… body odour… i could go on……
Canada Goose coats are like Uggs. Sure, they might be comfy, but they are really only blatant, ugly status symbols.
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