In the most depressing episode of Skins yet, we get the story on Chris, the skin-headed, pill-popping party boy who’s been abandoned by his parents and would probably trade all the ecstasy in the world for a little stability. Or maybe not. While Skins purports to be above (or is it below?) the classic teenage morality tale, the show quickly establishes that behind Chris’s drug abuse and out-of-control behaviour is a scared and insecure little boy who feels he’s undeserving of love. Chris’s inappropriate relationship with his teacher Tina, which was hinted at a few episodes ago, was developed further this week, but it’s anyone’s guess whether we’ll get to see this forbidden teacher-student love affair come to its dysfunctional fruition.
Now that word is out that Skins’s ratings sank 50 per cent between week one and week two—despite a parental uproar that should have made it must-see TV—this week’s viewership numbers will be crucial. While we still can, we give you our usual high school reality roundup. Below, what rings true and what feels faker than the Jo Bros’ virginity pledge.
• Stanley gets puked on by a drunk girl at Chris’s party. A classic high school rager scenario, where the unofficial motto could easily be “puke or be puked on.”
• Chris’s envelope full of cash gets stolen during the aforementioned bender at which even he admits to only knowing twenty per cent of the people there.
• The Chris-Tina relationship: illicit, yes; immoral, sure; but for the love of Mary Kay Letourneau, we all know this kind of thing really does happen.
• Chris’s mom leaves $1,000 in cash on the counter before taking off, even though they live in a house that makes most crack dens look luxurious. We get that she must feel guilty, but fifty bucks would have been more like it.
• Stanley says he saves his money in premium bonds. This is the same Stanley who drinks Aunt Jemima out of the bottle and can’t seem to go five minutes without getting food on his face. Yeah, right.
• Tony looks away when Tea flashes the gang. They’re obviously trying to show that he has real feelings for her following last week’s big straight-gay smooch (note he has no qualms about ogling a naked Michelle), but he’s still a 17-year-old boy with boobs in the brain.
• Teacher Tina buys Chris’s story about coming over for a parent-teacher conference with his mom, when in fact he’s just trying to get her to his party. Do teachers really make house calls after dark? Once she discovers the ruse, she still agrees to dance with Chris at the party. Even Ms. Letourneau wouldn’t have cut a rug with her underage sweetheart in a house full of fellow students.
• Why does Stanley’s hair looks like like Posh Spice’s bob (a.k.a. “the Pob”) circa 2007?
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Courtney Shea is a freelance journalist in Toronto. She started her career as an intern at Toronto Life and continues to contribute frequently to the publication, including her 2022 National Magazine Award–winning feature, “The Death Cheaters,” her regular Q&As and her recent investigation into whether Taylor Swift hung out at a Toronto dive bar (she did not). Courtney was a producer and writer on the 2022 documentary The Talented Mr. Rosenberg, based on her 2014 Toronto Life magazine feature “The Yorkville Swindler.”