The Scotiabank Theatre’s escalator is broken for TIFF and everyone is freaking out

The escalators at the Scotiabank Theatre are four or five storeys tall. They’re scary to ride. They’re also, aside from a small elevator, the easiest way to get to any of the multiplex’s auditoriums, all of which are located on the top floor of the building.

Those escalators aren’t working today, which ordinarily would not rate a mention on this or any website. Except: the Scotiabank happens to be hosting a bunch of press and industry screenings during TIFF—so, basically, our Hollywood guests are being forced to take the stairs. Here’s how Twitter is handling this national embarrassment.

It appears the Scotiabank escalators have been malfunctioning for several weeks. And yet we ignored the warning signs, like fools:

@CineplexMovies Scotiabank theatre all ticket machines down, 1 person working the normal ticket line, no escalator, what gives!? #Toronto

— Braden Herrington (@TheBrayD) August 13, 2016

With a few days to go before the fest, the escalators were still stationary, leading some to wonder if film critics would actually be asked to climb entire flights of stairs. It seemed incredible:

@TIFF_NET #ScotiabankTheater escalator fixed on time for #TIFF16? Scarier than @colingeddes @mmadnesstiff films! pic.twitter.com/ydFi9Rcksb

— john ng (@johnnybgood100) September 4, 2016

As per #TIFF custom, the massive escalator at the Scotiabank Theatre is out of service. Imagine all reviews typed between gulps for air.

— Sam Adams (@SamuelAAdams) September 8, 2016

Some made constructive suggestions:

Key to broken escalator at #tiff16 – just go to movies all day and treat it like Everest base camp, but with popcorn

— Jason Gorber (@filmfest_ca) September 8, 2016

Heard the escalator at Scotiabank Theatre isn't working. I counted the stairs once: 75. Not bad. Keep fit, people! Escalators are boring.

— SHAUN HATTON (@megashaun) September 8, 2016

Others marvelled at the immensity of the task at hand:

For reference, this is the massive escalator that is out of service at Scotiabank Theatre. #TIFF16 pic.twitter.com/ia6SKWl2TB

— Max Covill (@mhcovill) September 8, 2016

Oh yeah, and there was a Hollywood Reporter article:

Toronto: Giant Escalators Break at Press & Industry Screening Venue https://t.co/Goiozeq3ap

— Hollywood Reporter (@THR) September 8, 2016

Yup, that’s a broken escalator alright:

Scotiabank escalator, closed for repairs at #TIFF16 bow, recalls SCULLY: Machines fail when you need them the most. pic.twitter.com/7mVOPztfxF

— Peter Howell (@peterhowellfilm) September 8, 2016

CTV’s Richard Crouse griped about the griping:

TIFF is what, two hours in and already people are complaining about the heat and the Scotiabank escalator of terror being out of service.

— Richard Crouse (@RichardCrouse) September 8, 2016

Have no doubt that this no-escalators situation ranks very low on the Tomatometer™:

Some TIFF screenings aren't for the faint of heart, specially when the escalator is out. #TIFF16 pic.twitter.com/ZI2z63tXSp

— Rotten Tomatoes (@RottenTomatoes) September 8, 2016

Or maybe it’s all a ploy to cull the weakest and slowest film critics from the herd:

between the stairs and death, i choose death. #TIFF16 pic.twitter.com/6PzJ4HIClY

— the john, the (@johnsemley3000) September 8, 2016