Pillars of the Earth recap: dirty, sexy clergy, episode 2

Lesson 1: Never trust a man with a bob haircut It was true of Javier Bardem’s character in No Country for Old Men, and it’s definitely true of Ian McShane’s conniving Bishop Waleran. This week, the hell-bound holy man convinced the very naive Prior Philip to ask King Steven for help building a new cathedral. Of course, Waleran has his own evil interests at heart.

Lesson 2: The help always has better sex Call it one of life’s great equalizers. The noble classes may get all the money and privilege, but when it comes to getting it on, there’s no contest. Exhibit A: Tom Builder, a penniless master builder, and his witchy woman take a very literal roll in the hay one night while sleeping in a barn. It’s like they can’t tear each other’s clothes off fast enough. Meanwhile, Lord Percy Hamleigh and his scheming wife have a coital encounter that’s reminiscent of two people doing the horizontal robot.

Lesson 3: Sometimes a skull is just a skull Prior Philip almost dies trying to save his church’s precious relic (the skull of Saint Adolphus) in the fire, then later learns that the whole thing is probably religious mumbo-jumbo and that the skull should simply be replaced by another dead man’s noggin. Wise up, Philip, before Bishop Waleran walks all over you.