Masterchef Canada Recap, episode 3: “Don’t be fooled by the stripper hair”
Apparently, all it takes is a camera and a cash prize to turn otherwise normal people into Lord of the Flies–style savages. On American reality TV shows, the transformation tends to be swift and dramatic (case in point: the ruthless bullying of poor Bev in season nine of Top Chef). Here in Canada, we’re a slightly subtler bunch—or at least that’s what we gather from watching Masterchef Canada, which is an intriguing study in passive aggression (with one tiny, irate, cobalt-haired exception). Here, the top takeaways from episode three.
Lesson #1: “Don’t be fooled by the stripper hair”
We’re not sure that Marida’s lovely waves deserve the pole-dancer comparison, but we agree that she’s one to watch. After trouncing everyone else in the
Kraft product-placement mystery-box challenge, the Trinidadian twin got to pick the ingredient for the elimination round—smelts. Afterward, she heckled everyone from the balcony with new bestie Brooke, who chose to interpret the arrangement as a reflection of her awesome abilities (“I think she chose me because she respects me and wants me to stay in the game”) instead of the put-down it actually was (“I can always beat Brooke another day”). Awkward.
Lesson #2: You can’t make friends with pulverized smelts
Down in elimination land, Marida’s protein of choice had everyone stumped (they kept calling them “schmeltz”). The most thoroughly confused contestants—we’re looking at you, Danny, Ben and Meghan—somehow decided that puréeing the fish into a pescatarian paste was the safest way to go. That decision didn’t sit too well with the judges. It was funny-guy Ben’s flaccid smelt cakes and sweet Meghan’s terrifying fish-slop pie that made the judges queasiest, leading to a tension-laden elimination that saw both contestants booted from the show. And then there were 14.
Lesson #3: Less is More
Affable Pino earned the top spot by throwing a handful of fish into a deep-fryer and displaying them on a piece of paper towel—which, for some reason, Michael Bonacini seemed particularly tickled by. Speaking of Bonacini, his soft-spoken ways are growing on us, especially now that he’s injected his pater familias vibe with a little more edge. Meanwhile, Alvin Leung’s totally random and irrational outbursts are starting to wear a little thin. Also, did his hair get bluer? It really looked almost indigo this time.