Four Weddings Canada, episode 13: a silly theme and a Debbie Downer

Four Weddings Canada, episode 13: a silly theme and a Debbie Downer

Victoria, Marivic, Carolyn and Fallon (Image: Four Weddings Canada)

Four Weddings Canada, Episode 13

Here’s the thing: every bride is going to walk away from her special day happy, unless she’s completely psycho and torches the place or cries and rips her hair out in front of her guests. Sadly, neither happen on this week’s episode of Four Weddings Canada—but we do meet bride Marivic, who consistently shares with us how unhappy she is with the other brides’ efforts. She’s quite possibly the most insufferable bride to date. Disclaimer: we’re going to spend most of this recap telling you how much of a downer she is, because the show is dominated by her bad attitude. (Of course, we’ll tell you about brides Victoria, Carolyn and Fallon, too.)

Victoria, age 26 (Budget: $22,000)
Victoria’s a bit sullen, but we imagine she portrayed herself in this manner because she’s representing herself as some sort of goth-type. She’s a little rude, considering she can’t choke down Marivic’s sorbet and audibly makes a vomiting sound to prove to the cameras and everyone around her that she doesn’t like it. She’s also a little lazy, since she complains about having to “investigate” Carolyn’s buffet on her own, which she’s none too pleased with.

Marivic, 35 (Budget: $25,000)
Somehow her slimy-looking beef, Guyanese-meets-Filipino dinner (sushi, pad thai, beef and cherry sorbet), airport chapel-looking venue and incomprehensible “musical cherry blossoms” theme are good enough for her, yet the other brides’ choices merit constant complaints. She’s afraid of fire, and complains about how during Victoria’s fire dance she’s “on the edge the entire time.” She finds Fallon’s sister’s lovely gesture of performing a Tahitian dance to be distracting (come on!), and she cries about being uncomfortable at Carolyn’s pre-reception. She even has a problem with the structure of Carolyn’s wedding, griping about not understanding everyone’s roles (they are people, they walk down an aisle and they get married—relax, okay?). Also, for anyone planning to change their clothing at any time in a given day, Marivic would like you to know that it completely disrupts the mood, and she will not be pleased. Attention Four Weddings Canada fans: someone has made Holly look good!

Carolyn, age 31 (Budget: $20,000)
We’re under the impression that Carolyn has never had better sushi before Marivic’s cocktail hour, because she’s basically drooling from the mouth, saying the sushi “rocked [her] world.” And really, who can blame her? Sushi is great. Apart from that, she has pizza delivered by the hour to her reception, which we can totally get behind, and we’re giving her the award for hottest husband on Four Weddings Canada, because, seriously, wee-ow! 

Fallon, age 26 (Budget: $40,000)
Fallon is pegged as the Charlotte York or Monica Gellar of this episode from the get-go. But her obsessive attention to detail (she spent 18 months planning her wedding) doesn’t borderline on unhinged, which would make her more exciting—yet, is likely for the best. She’s relatively courteous, and, for some reason, felt the need to tell us she “really [loves] the bite of balsamic dressing.” Um, sure.

This week’s Head Bitch in Ceremony is Marivic. Duh.
(Oh, and Victoria wins the honeymoon.)