Danny Glover is a no-show at the Down For Life party

Why is it, again, that our city is nicknamed Toronto the Good? Because based on everything we’ve seen so far at TIFF, we’re officially petitioning to rename this town Toronto the Trying To Get Laid.

We’ve already dished on the short-skirted antics of 20-something girls in star-studded Yorkville. But things got even more desperate at the decidedly un-star-studded Down For Life opening night party at Maro supper club last Saturday. From the hairspray-intensive preening sesh going on in the women’s washroom to the two ladies in Saran wrap-like outfits (they stationed themselves around the corner from the red carpet entrance and teetered crazily on their high heels, spying on anyone and everyone coming in the door), the whole night was downright libidinous. And yet, not a single person we asked knew what film the party was celebrating. Well done, Hogtown.

Somebody should have disabused the poor young things of their fantasies, since no celebrities were ever going to show up at Maro. Danny Glover, Down For Life’s star, boycotted TIFF because of the Tel Aviv spotlight. We did hear that Laz Alonso, an actor in the film who also has a small role in James Cameron’s upcoming Avatar, and who therefore might one day become famous, showed up after we left. But even without star power, we sort of got the feeling the crowd was going to cope any which way they could. As our date commented outside the bathrooms, “This hallway smells like lube.”