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Five things we learned from the Cannes premiere of Cosmopolis

Cosmopolis just premiered at Cannes, and Vulture was there to catch the first screening. David Cronenberg may have lost the Palme D’or to director Michael Haneke, but it seems the reviews are favourable. Here, five things we learned about the sexy, sexy summer movie.

1. Cosmopolis is set in a world of vice
Cosmopolis revolves around young billionaire Eric Packer (played by Robert Pattinson), who is en route to a haircut. The film opens with him talking about his need for something “thick and juicy,” which we can only assume means steak—though judging by the floozies he later encounters and his physique, perhaps his appetites extend beyond food.

2. Sarah Gadon isn’t hot enough for some people Pattinson and Gadon’s marriage in the film is described as a mere “business merger,” and Packer’s propensity toward fornication is all about pleasure (so, um, expect lots of outside-the-marriage sex).

3. RPattz is allegedly a really good actor Though Vulture describe his tools of success in Cosmopolis as “a curdled sneer and a soul-sick gaze,” that doesn’t sound like a far cry from Edward, king of soul-sick gazes.

4. There will be some weird, bummer-inducing dialogue The film is adapted from Don DeLillo’s novel of the same name, which Cronenberg has apparently stayed impressively faithful to.

Example: “All this optimism, all this booming and soaring. Things happen like bang. This and that simultaneous. I put out my hand and what do I feel? I know there’s a thousand things you analyze every 10 minutes. Patterns, ratios, indexes, whole maps of information. I love information. This is our sweetness and light. It’s a fuck-all wonder. And we have meaning in the world. People eat and sleep in the shadow of what we do. But at the same time, what?” (But remember, in addition to a healthy narrative, there’s a considerable amount of guns and sex to enjoy.)

5. Cronenberg is adorably humble Being Hollywood’s most notorious vampire, Pattinson’s star is sure to eclipse many others’. “I always had the feeling that he’d never seen any of my movies,” Cronenberg confessed. Aw. Might they collaborate again? Fingers crossed.

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