Chloe: the drinking game

Viewers expecting one of Atom Egoyan’s signature what-exactly-is-going-on-here? art-house flicks may be slightly disappointed with his latest offering, Chloe. But anyone who loves a good old-fashioned thriller—it’s Fatal Attraction meets Hand That Rocks the Cradle—is in for a treat. What Chloe is not: subtle. What it is: sophisticated porn, complete with amazingly hot actors, gorgeous clothing and girl-on-girl sex scene. Even the house felt slightly centrefold-esque. And what goes better with porn than a little hooch? Not that we’re endorsing the taking of booze into a movie theatre, but let’s just say this game works a lot better with vodka than it does with Dr. Pepper. Below, our 100 per cent original Chloe drinking game.

Take a drink:

• Every time you’re not sure if Julianne Moore’s character is about to have a nervous breakdown or an orgasm. Or both.

• For every erect nipple that appears onscreen—of course, all nipples are erect in Chloe.

• Every time a character views him- or herself or another character through glass: a window, a mirror, a steamy shower door…is it getting hot in here?

• For every doctor you know with a shoe collection like Moore’s.

• Every time Amanda Seyfried is upstaged by her trout pout.

• Take an additional swig for every Toronto landmark appearance that feels awkward. (Liam Neeson’s sophisticated character has lunch at Cafe Diplomatico every day, and Seyfried and Neeson truck to Allan Gardens for their trysts.)

• Every time you wish you could live in that house! (We got trashed on this one alone.)

• For every time Chloe falls off her bike because she is foolish enough to be cycling on the snow. Spoiler alert: this happens only once, but you’ll want to have something in your mouth to muffle the giggles.

• Every time you spot a former Road to Avonlea cast member. OK, fine. By our count, there was only one (the hooker-spotting friend is Jasper Dale), but clearly Egoyan is a closet Lucy Maud fan. RTA alums Sarah Polley and Bruce Greenwood starred in The Sweet Hereafter.

• For every time Chloe’s antique silver hair clip makes an appearance. Bonus swig if you can articulate the symbolism behind Moore’s character wearing it in the end. Maybe we were just too smashed to get it.